I don't want to hurt you.

[needexc]

It's been a while since my last visit here and I have learned allot.

Now I stumbled uppon something that really gets to me (I know it's wrong)
I got a number off the chick the first time I met her, we were very cool with eachother and she gave me a gazillion hints she is very into me.

I got to the point where we kiss eachother and I ass grab her all the time..
seriously I just know this girl is into me.. but then I made a mistake I started asking her if there is more between us.. suddenly she started saying things like we are still young and we have all the time in the world..

I gave her her time but we did not stop kissing and such.. now after some time I asked her again if there was something going on between us..

Now she is like I don"t want to hurt you since I have no time, and when we start something now little irritations will become big irritations. and we will hook up in the future when we are both free from work and school.. and it actually feels like she friendzoned me (still she said she's okay with me holding and kissing her) but I'm not doing that anymore cause I feel like I should move on...

problem is I have developed some feelings for her and I just can't deny them.
Normally it's not a problem but she KEEPS giving me signs she wants me and she loves my attention still...


My mind says I need to move on, but my heart says I should pursue this one...

tbh I know the answer.. NEXT!! but I really wan't her it's just something that stops me from walking away from her..

appreciatie some tips!

 

[Jariel]

I realised when a girl says she doesn't want to hurt you it means you fvcked up big time by coming on too strong and/or appearing too nice and sensitive.

A girl would never say this to a player. If she's still on the fence about you, then you're in a good position to win her back. You just need to withdraw your attention, act aloof with her and go for periods of time ignoring her. And absolutely do not initiate any contact with her.

Check the tip on being rejected or dumped in my signature to see a LOT of examples of this working effectively. Also I'd recommend this tip I wrote that highlights how you messed up with this girl...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=180108

 

[Hexagram]

She's basically rejected you by giving you the "I dont want to hurt you" B.S.
Sticking around and actively pursuing her is going to make her lose respect for you.Trust me, we've all been there and learnt the hard way.

Want her to feel like sh!t and regret rejecting you? Go NC, get really fit, and date someone better than her. Chances are she'll start begging for your attention again.

 

[needexc]

Fvck yea, that's what I wanted to hear, I know I just came on too strong... and still I find myself jumping if she gives me affection... I really need to work on that.

"Chances are she'll start begging for your attention again." that's what confuses my ass so much.. she keeps asking attention from me like nothing happened.

I'll read the stuff you gave me and I will certainly keep you guys updated.

 

[needexc]

Yes, it's even working right now... this is some gold stuff..

I'd love to meet some of you guys in RL and go out to a party or something have a little competition. would be win win

 

[floydb25]

Sounds like you came on too strong, and pushed for an ultimatum too soon. Never ask where you stand. It kills their attraction - because it reveals your interest, eliminates the challenge, and puts her in the position of choosing you. All wrong. All bad. Her interest will plummet just like that once you reveal things like this, or she knows she "has" you.

This doesn't mean she won't try to keep you interested in her, however. Even if she lost or has no interest in you - she will always want you to remain interested in, and focused solely on her. This is the doormat trap a lot of over-eager, desperate guys fall into. Don't be one of those guys. Don't give her all the power; she won't respect you for it, but will use it to her advantage. All while acting as though nothing is happening. It is, and she knows it - she's just playing dumb.

But, what is basically happening is, she knows you have feelings for her; doesn't share those feelings; and is probably gonna break up with you or whatever you have going on with her. So, she doesn't want hurt you in that sense. You got too attached, and revealed those feelings too soon. It turned her off. So now, you must back off, or she will lose all interest in you.

 

[thirdtimescharm]

Normally it's not a problem but she KEEPS giving me signs she wants me and she loves my attention still...

Wake up! They ALL love attention. And they will sometimes do or say anything to get it.

 

[needexc]

Wake up! They ALL love attention. And they will sometimes do or say anything to get it.

It's more like she gives me that extra little attention over the rest, kind of another attention then the normal one do you see?

It might be just in my head I don't know...



seriously I can't forgive myself the fact I ****ed this one up.

 

[Iceberg]

It's more like she gives me that extra little attention over the rest, kind of another attention then the normal one do you see?

It might be just in my head I don't know...



seriously I can't forgive myself the fact I ****ed this one up.

Well, yeah. You did f**k it up. Don't ask a woman "where do we stand". Never. Ever. It's a man's role to lead the relationship. A woman doesn't want a man asking her to set terms. It's a total boner-killer.

 

[DonJuanabe]

You did not come on too strong. Kissing her and grabbing her ass is what she wants if she is interested. What you did wrong was to ask her where things stood. After kissing and grabbing your job was to direct where things were going to go -- she gave you the keys to the car, you were supposed to do the driving. Iceberg is correct.

 

[needexc]

Ok so what I did... I deleted her out of my list without saying a word.

now after some days she added me again asking what was wrong.

I told her she treated me like a ****bag, and it's not her fault entirely.. I am to blame also.

I made her clear that she should not do stuff to me if she is isn't interested.
I also said that if she ever wanted to be with me again she need to turn her head 180 degrees and think of what she wants before even thinking of contactiing me.

she answered but staying friends is fine I got so much on m head right now and I just came to realise there is nothing more.

remember the crap that she did not have any time? I told her she should not talk crap to me like that because I know how the game is played, if she really was into me she would have MADE time.

after that I told her I am not interested in being friends with here because that's just total bullcrap and we would never see eachother again.

I wished her luck on boozing with friends and her other stuff she needed to fix. and booted her out of my list again. She said way more stuff... she actually doese not like the fact we dont contact eachother anymore.

But since I'm fed up with the crap she gave me I don't want to speak to her again.


I really know I made a mistake with her and it's all to blame on me, it won't happen ever again though.



did I do any good? now I begin to think I should have just wished her luck and leave her in my list..

 

[blueeyedgent]

Dude you took the advice to withdraw attention from her and did THAT?

When a man loses his frame and cool like that its game over. You acted like a p*ssy and a douche if you ask me.

 

[Iceberg]

did I do any good? now I begin to think I should have just wished her luck and leave her in my list..

Did you do any good?

You freaked out on some girl who you hadn't even banged. She's right not to want you. Why would she want some needy, desperate guy who asks questions like "is there more between us"? That is the anti-man. It's the exact opposite of what attracts a woman.

And then you have the nerve to get angry at her for not wanting to be with you? F**k that. Once you saw that she wasn't giving you what you wanted, you should have walked away. You don't stomp your feet and get mad like a child. You assess the situation, you determine that the woman is useless to you, and then you walk away.

So now you kicked and screamed and left this girl with the idea that she has complete control over your emotional frame.

And you ask if you did any good?

You have a lot to learn, my friend. You should listen to the advice given to you.

 

[the_great_gaia]

This girl just wanted to get in the sack with you. She didn't want to commit to a relationship with you. She wanted to be used by you. You were supposed to treat her like a slvt. You let your inner feelings get the best of you in this situation, and thats not what she was interested in. She liked it when you squeezed her ass; she didn't want you to stop. She liked having your tongue in her mouth; she didn't want you to stop.. but you did, just to ask her:

"where do we stand..?"

When you asked her once; she wanted you to STOP.. but you didn't, and you asked her again.. she told you that she didn't want to hurt you.. like whenever you found out you're not the only guy thats sacking her. She doesn't want you to hate her whenever you found out what she truly is, and for want she truly wants to be. She wanted you to be APART OF IT.

Ok so what I did... I deleted her out of my list without saying a word.

now after some days she added me again asking what was wrong.

She wanted to know what was wrong with you? She probably wondered why you stopped wanting to squeeze her ass or if you didn't like kissing her. You wanted a relationship with her, and she just simply couldn't come to terms as to why you'd want the WHOLE cow if you're already getting the milk for FREE, but you never brought a cup along. smh..

 

[needexc]

yes Iceberg you are totally right, I have this weird thing to fall back into bad habits.

I talked to her, and told her that I should not have spoken to her the way I did, and told her I'd be ok with us being friends.. since I'm already seeing another girl.

Since I already lost her, but she wants to be friends so bad with me.. she told me the chilling with me is awesome and really does'nt want to give that up... now at first I thought **** it, but then I began thinking.. I'll just keep on smackin that ass, and if I get the chance I'll just kiss her.. I mean it's nothing new to us.

I got this feeling it could just turn her right around again.. just let her do her thing and I'll do mine, not mentioning any chilidish where stand we bullcrap and just play the game allong.. not contacting her and seeing her now and then.

keep up the feedback guys it really helps!


edit: so yea, this girl keeps sending me messages, I changed my attitude towards her bigtime, I got more ****y and waaaay more sexual in my talking towards her, I'll see her in 2 days, after some hours since we last talked on the phone I send her a question but I forgot she was already sleeping then. So i know she is going to answer me in the morning.

I won't contact her back untill I see her, I wonder what will happen if I keep this up. Could be nothing, could be something... win win imo xD

 

[backbreaker]

keep up the feedback guys it really helps!

how would you know lol? you haven';t listen to one god damn thing anyone has said yet. in fact you have done just about the exact opposite of everything everyone has told you to do.

edit: so yea, this girl keeps sending me messages, I changed my attitude towards her bigtime, I got more ****y and waaaay more sexual in my talking towards her, I'll see her in 2 days, after some hours since we last talked on the phone I send her a question but I forgot she was already sleeping then. So i know she is going to answer me in the morning.

I won't contact her back untill I see her, I wonder what will happen if I keep this up. Could be nothing, could be something... win win imo xD 02-16-2012 04:56 PM

good fvcking good this is pathetic.

dude this **** is so classic I have my wife reading this and she's laughing at you. do you not see the irony in saying that you are basing sexual and ****y yet calling her 2 hours after you get out of a date with her? are you that fvcking clueless when it comes to the opposite sex? Do you honestly think as a male with a penis, that this is behavior that gets women's juices flowing?


Look, I'm going to say this as clearly as I possibly can. You aren't going to listen but I'm going to say it anyway. she isn't goin to fvcik you. i would bet everythign in my bank account against her not fvcking you. i am that confident she is not going to fvck you for the very simple fact that every thing she has done to this point has tol you as clear as day that she dofes not find you fvckable. she is not attracted to you in a sexual manner. you are nothing but phone fodder to this broad. you are what she does in the interludes between the guys she wants to actually fvck are off doing **** that men do, play sports, work out, study, whatever. you are the female equivalent to a video game. doo you want to fvck your video games? I don't know what type of sick **** you are in to, but I assume you don't like to fvck video games.


at this point, there is nothing, whatsoever, you can do to get this woman to see you as a boyfriend candidate because the opinion she has formed of you is not of a boyfriend, it's of a friend who happens to be a boy. you do not attract her. she does not think about you sexually.


you do not cut off contact with her so that it will get her to talk to you again you cut off contact to focus on women who ARE interested in you.

she wants, or at least at one point in time wanted to fvck you so I would imagine you are a decent looking guy. you need to spend your responses on other women that do want you, not a owman who has all but told you in contract that she isn't going to fvck you.

 

[needexc]

Ok, I get the point... on to the next one it is.

 

[Iceberg]

you are nothing but phone fodder to this broad. you are what she does in the interludes between the guys she wants to actually fvck are off doing **** that men do, play sports, work out, study, whatever. you are the female equivalent to a video game. doo you want to fvck your video games? I don't know what type of sick **** you are in to, but I assume you don't like to fvck video games.

at this point, there is nothing, whatsoever, you can do to get this woman to see you as a boyfriend candidate because the opinion she has formed of you is not of a boyfriend, it's of a friend who happens to be a boy.

Haha. This is a powerful rant right here. And pure truth.

 

[vatoloco]

I would've come back with "Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really wanna make me cry?"

http://youtu.be/2nXGPZaTKik

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I would've come back with "Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really wanna make me cry?"

http://youtu.be/2nXGPZaTKik

LMFAO!!!! Dude Vato, I love you bro, you are classic! (No homo of course) haha






PIMP