I Dont Get This Guys

[Industry]

My ex and I are trying to work things out, starting over with a "clean slate"... I went over to her house Saturday night and she seemed so happy to see me... she told me to "get back in the car" and we had sex for 3 hours until someone turned on a light inside the house and she got spooked. She talked dirtier then ever before and I was like "ok this just might work".

Well, I texter her yesterday with "Hey good seeing ya last night, hope your dad didn't see us. Have fun clubbing with your friends." No reply, nothing. And she always replies and/or calls me after she goes clubbing. After a night like that I figured she'd be all about talking.. but it appears like she is playing yet another game with me. Which one? I'm not sure.


What should I do guys? Wait for a response? Call her up?

 

[gherald]

whatever the answer is...dont overthink whats what...

 

[theunflushables]

Yeah, don't trust your brain, it lies to you.

 

[Industry]

Why shouldn't I trust it? She's on her damn sidekick all the time texting/IMing and she doesn't even get back to me. What the fvck? I mean how hard is it to send a text reply?

Should I just act as if it's no big deal and don't even bring it up?

 

[gherald]

do u even read the bible?
once u start overthinking things its all over for you men...it game over...

i mean shes enjoying, right?
you oughta to have fun as well?
that will make things even

wake up!dont be an afc

 

[Industry]

do u even read the bible?
once u start overthinking things its all over for you men...it game over...

i mean shes enjoying, right?
you oughta to have fun as well?
that will make things even

wake up!dont be an afc

so you think she's with someone else then and that's her reason for not calling me back?

 

[gherald]

what the...

i mean she's getting sick of you bcoz your so needy!

the things aren't working out bcoz ur giving her the handle to your emotions...

do i need to expand this bro?

 

[Industry]

how am I being needy? she doesnt know that I'm acting like this. I just told her that i had a good times with her and to have a good night clubbing with her friends. that's CONFIDENCE.

please explain how that is being needy?

 

[gherald]

ur a hard man to deal with aint ya?

so what if she text you back?

ur arent needy now...but this thing is bothering you badly...arent you planning to bring this up to her right?right then,you will be seen as a man of insecurity...
the fact that you are like that now is giving her the handle to emotions.

well, go to go!

 

[Industry]

no im not going to bring it up to her at all. no way man. i used to in the past but ive been working on it and have learned how to keep it in and not say anything. its been good since.

 

[ryannath]

She goes out clubbing without you? That's a big red flag right there. I wonder why she goes out clubbing? Hmmm......can't put my finger on it. What do chicks go in search of inside a club? Hmmm *end sarcasm*

 

[Industry]

well she works with a club promoter and goes clubbing 3x a week. Sunday Mon and Wed. She only has guy friends really... and no ive known her for 9 months and I've been invited to club with her maybe twice. Is that a bad thing? I always tell her to go have fun with her friends... maybe I should say something to her? I don't want to look insecure though but it has bothered me.

 

[Industry]

Im writing her a text in regards to clubbing with out me... DOES THIS SOUND GOOD OR AM I SOUNDING TOO INSECURE?

"I know you like going to clubs and that I'm not invited because you want to spend time with your friends. I can understand that and I'm not trying to smother your personal life but it would be nice if we could spend a little more quality time together. I go out most of the nights you do as well and I'm doing the exact same thing you are. But, if we really like each other and want this to work we need to sacrifice some of our nightlife and spend a little more time together. Is this something that you're willing to do? I'll leave Sundays open for us if you'll do the same."

 

[diizy]

just leave it, talk to her next time about anything BUT clubbing.

Work your way around it and you will get to the truth. Everyone is right, you are OVERTHINKING. calm down, work it out.

 

[tmpgstx]

That's giving her a one-way pass to get random dyck and still see you.

Ask yourself, am i losing my self-respect by writing this e-mail?

 

[Industry]

That's giving her a one-way pass to get random dyck and still see you.

Ask yourself, am i losing my self-respect by writing this e-mail?

PERHAPS. But what should I say then? We're not together, just dating. But I believe she thinks I'm just sitting here while she goes out to clubs with guys. I have to trust her somewhat that she isn't a filthy ***** but I need to get a message across... what about something like this...

"I just want you to know that I don't care if your seeing anyone else at this point. In fact, I think it would be a good idea for us to see what else is out there. That way, if we ever decide to be exclusive we'll know it was the right decision."


I've been real needy in the past, acting insecure and all. We took a month off and I've been confident ever since... even dating another girl along the way.

*** YES I THINK THAT SOUNDS BETTER... 1) SHE'LL THINK THAT I'M WITH OTHER GIRLS 2) IT SHOWS CONFIDENCE. 3) IT WILL GET HER THINKING THAT SHE NEEDS TO STOP ****ING AROUND OR SHE'LL LOSE ME.

 

[diizy]

jeez man, you're trying too hard. you need to talk it out with her. Does she like you? How sure are you that she's seeing other guys? If she really is seeing other guys then just get over her...

If you really want to sort it out, talk to her.

 

[Industry]

I don't know if she is but when she goes clubbing 3x a week and I'm not invited that's telling me something. In the past her Interest Level has always gone up when I have made a comment that insinuates that I'm seeing/looking elsewhere.

 

[Scought]

Dude, you come here for advice--you get it, and you ignore it.

Do whatever you want...but if you send those messages it's the wrong move.

Were you looking for advice? Or someone to agree with you?

Why are you getting all heavy about this out of left-field.

Let her reply to you, hang out more and more if that's what you want.

If you had other girls this wouldn't be an issue. Who cares what she 'thinks' about what you do while she clubs. Chances are she doesn't think about you at all.

Have had a girl that was just a friend and she couldn't shut up about a guy, or always went out of her way to find a way to see him or be with him?
Maybe you have a sister like that or a cousin.....anyway, the point is they show interest. And a girl that likes you will be the same way.

Ask yourself: Are her actions the actions of a girl that is interested in me?

This isn't a negotiation. This isn't an ultimatum. Either she has an attraction for you or not--texting her like that doesn't do a thing. Ooops, I'm wrong, it totally kills any attraction.

 

[Miss]

...

The answer lies in why is she your ex?