uly55
Don Juan
Ok guys this post is from a good mate of mine who doesn't have a pc yet.I will pass on the replies to him.Ok here is his problem......
Back in september I moved in to a nice place with a girl- just a friend and a few months later one of my best friends parents kicked him out of home so he moved in with us. She had kids and my mate Max couldn't stand them so he started making life difficult for her and she moved out. He met a girl named belinda when he moved in with us and they have been going out ever since. He smokes pot all the time and she told him she would break up with him if he didnt stop so he did for a while, but took it back up again one month later and kept it from her. I have had several long term relationships but hadnt had a gf for a year and Belinda his gf said that her flatmate had seen my picture and wanted to meet me. I wasnt desparate so i didnt do anything about it and he kept saying stuff like it wouldnt work out if i did and that the other guy they lived with is chasing her etc.. then one night we all went out for dinner and she was a really nice. My mate kept trying to sabotage the night but I thought she was a great chick so i asked her out the next day and she said yes.
Max messaged me saying that he didnt want me to go out with her because it would ruin his relationship with belinda but I thought that was BS so we went out and had the best time I have ever had. When i got home max was drunk and he had sent me some abusive sms messages telling me to choose him or the ***** etc.. That reminded me of my pyscho ex gf and really pissed me off. I told him i will go out with anybody I want to. So Melissa and I started dating and Max made life at home very uncomfortable by either ignoring me or just yelling and screeming and punching holes in walls and childish sh*t like that we had a 10 month lease and couldnt break it so i stayed there and put up with it. Melissa and i had so much in common and every date was better than the last and I really started to like her a lot after 3 weeks we decided that we were going steady and one night when she picked me up to go to a party Max met her at the door and in front of everyone including his gf he gave her the personal collums and said next time find your next bf from there.
I told him to grow up and that he was acting like a d*ckhead and that i had had enough and was moving out. Melissa was pretty upset and when we got to the party he messaged her saying to ask me to explain a past mistake i had made from a few years back that involved the police. I did and she seemed ok about it that night i went back home and packed up my stuff and went to bed. the next morning i went to work and havn't been back since. Melissa and i spoke on the phone and she was angry at me for not doing more which is fair enough but we talked through it and ended the conversation on a good note.
Two days later she dumped me saying she couldn't overcome the past and she wanted a long term relationship ( which i also wanted) and that Max had appologised to her. I was very hurt and confused and a 3 weeks later decided to talk to her to see where she was at. She came to my work and i told her what Max was like and that he didnt want us to go out because he thought that she would find out about his drug habit and tell Belinda. Melissa then told me that belinda was smoking pot now anyway and that she wouldnt have cared. She said that she thought i was going to tell her I had aids or something ( i wonder where that came from).
When i told her I really cared about her her body language told me she didn't believe me. Try as I would I couldnt get her to change her mind about ending the relationship and she was very cold and callous towards me and my feelings. I know my so called friend must have told a whole bunch of BS about me to make sure she wouldnt go out with me again. I know she isn't coming back but it still hurts because i really liked her so much and i have waited 28 years to meet a girl that i got along with that well and that f***wit ruined every thing. I feel like i put up with all that sh*t for nothing and lost a lot of friends and a nice place to live and in the end it was all for nothing because melissa didnt stick by me.
Where did i go wrong?
could I have dealt with max differently?
Did she ever really love me?
How do I get over her?(I know there's no chance for a relationship,but I can't stop thinking about her and the whole situation)
Why did she believe all that crap he told her after all he had done to the both of us?
Thanks
M
I have decided to change the names on this post.
Back in september I moved in to a nice place with a girl- just a friend and a few months later one of my best friends parents kicked him out of home so he moved in with us. She had kids and my mate Max couldn't stand them so he started making life difficult for her and she moved out. He met a girl named belinda when he moved in with us and they have been going out ever since. He smokes pot all the time and she told him she would break up with him if he didnt stop so he did for a while, but took it back up again one month later and kept it from her. I have had several long term relationships but hadnt had a gf for a year and Belinda his gf said that her flatmate had seen my picture and wanted to meet me. I wasnt desparate so i didnt do anything about it and he kept saying stuff like it wouldnt work out if i did and that the other guy they lived with is chasing her etc.. then one night we all went out for dinner and she was a really nice. My mate kept trying to sabotage the night but I thought she was a great chick so i asked her out the next day and she said yes.
Max messaged me saying that he didnt want me to go out with her because it would ruin his relationship with belinda but I thought that was BS so we went out and had the best time I have ever had. When i got home max was drunk and he had sent me some abusive sms messages telling me to choose him or the ***** etc.. That reminded me of my pyscho ex gf and really pissed me off. I told him i will go out with anybody I want to. So Melissa and I started dating and Max made life at home very uncomfortable by either ignoring me or just yelling and screeming and punching holes in walls and childish sh*t like that we had a 10 month lease and couldnt break it so i stayed there and put up with it. Melissa and i had so much in common and every date was better than the last and I really started to like her a lot after 3 weeks we decided that we were going steady and one night when she picked me up to go to a party Max met her at the door and in front of everyone including his gf he gave her the personal collums and said next time find your next bf from there.
I told him to grow up and that he was acting like a d*ckhead and that i had had enough and was moving out. Melissa was pretty upset and when we got to the party he messaged her saying to ask me to explain a past mistake i had made from a few years back that involved the police. I did and she seemed ok about it that night i went back home and packed up my stuff and went to bed. the next morning i went to work and havn't been back since. Melissa and i spoke on the phone and she was angry at me for not doing more which is fair enough but we talked through it and ended the conversation on a good note.
Two days later she dumped me saying she couldn't overcome the past and she wanted a long term relationship ( which i also wanted) and that Max had appologised to her. I was very hurt and confused and a 3 weeks later decided to talk to her to see where she was at. She came to my work and i told her what Max was like and that he didnt want us to go out because he thought that she would find out about his drug habit and tell Belinda. Melissa then told me that belinda was smoking pot now anyway and that she wouldnt have cared. She said that she thought i was going to tell her I had aids or something ( i wonder where that came from).
When i told her I really cared about her her body language told me she didn't believe me. Try as I would I couldnt get her to change her mind about ending the relationship and she was very cold and callous towards me and my feelings. I know my so called friend must have told a whole bunch of BS about me to make sure she wouldnt go out with me again. I know she isn't coming back but it still hurts because i really liked her so much and i have waited 28 years to meet a girl that i got along with that well and that f***wit ruined every thing. I feel like i put up with all that sh*t for nothing and lost a lot of friends and a nice place to live and in the end it was all for nothing because melissa didnt stick by me.
Where did i go wrong?
could I have dealt with max differently?
Did she ever really love me?
How do I get over her?(I know there's no chance for a relationship,but I can't stop thinking about her and the whole situation)
Why did she believe all that crap he told her after all he had done to the both of us?
Thanks
M
I have decided to change the names on this post.
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