I can't break out of this particular conditioned mindset, read on...

[8YearLurker]

If you were in a consistently good mood, you'd be looking to share your emotional high and multiply it by meeting a girl you're attracted to. Approaching girls is compulsive and fun when you're like this; it is the most natural, healthy, and non-creepy thing in the world.

This right here is key.

 

[edger]

You are kind of missing Don's point. Classic serial killers do not consider themselves creepy or doubt their intentions. They are psychopaths. They do not feel guilt or remorse. You are not talking about guys who are frustrated and go crazy (like George Sodini), who are off-putting to women. You're talking about guys like Ted Bundy who have no sympathy, empathy or compassion for others. They are completely 'congruent', they are 100% in their own frame, 100% in the moment, and thus opportunistic.

Does any of this describe you?

My point is, Die Hard and Taiyuu_otoko are claiming there is something I am doing in these interactions that are making women "detect" that I dislike most females out there. Now my point is, don't a lot of serial killers who prey on women, dislike them too? Hence that is why they kill them in the first place. Whether these serial killers consider themselves creepy or not, is irrelevant. Look at me, I don't consider myself creepy or doubt any of my intentions, yet what is it doing for me? According to what you're saying, if I don't consider myself creepy or doubt my intentions, then I should be doing fine like these serial killers, because they don't consider themselves creepy or doubt their intentions. The point is, if women are detecting my dislike for a part of the female population, then they should be detecting it in these serial killers as well, because these serial killers don't like them at ALL. These serial killers don't like any of them, period. They're the extreme version. Hell, they're going as far as to kill them, that is how much they hate them.They dislike them ALL, whereas I DON'T dislike them all. As I've said before, I've met some really cool, hot women in my life. So, for the record, I do not think all women are crap; I do think most of them are, the same way a lot of the seasoned players here feel about them, but I do not think they're ALL crap.

Hell, women will STILL write these guys love letters in jail even after finding out that they killed all these women because they hated them. That should tell people a lot.

 

[S.S.N. 318]

Hell, women will STILL write these guys love letters in jail even after finding out that they killed all these women because they hated them. That should tell people a lot.

..And it should tell also that society as a whole is messed up....

 

[Die Hard]

It's not neccesarily your dislike of women, Edger. You're very frustrated with women: on the one hand you want them, on the other hand you hate them, you try to convince yourself they're just good for sex while at the same time you realize that you'd like their attention/approval etc. etc. etc. You're just not congruent in the way you think about them, the way you feel about them and therefor the way you act towards them. Don't try to focus on one aspect, it's just your WHOLE F*CKIN EVERYTHING, you're not at peace with yourself, your thoughts and feelings are all conflicting with each other and ALL THAT just show when you approach a girl.

You just have a f*cked up mind and if you want to be more succesful with women, you have to do something about your f*cked up mind. You're just trying to come up with all kinds of excuses in this thread to neutralize any idea that might lead you to believe that the cause of your frustrations lies within you. You WANT the cause of your problems to be external, outside your influence. And you're just gonna keep talking around in circles and evading all the good advice that's being given to you, starting an indefinite number of side-discussions about each and every detail of our good advice and coming up with other tactics to keep postponing the truth from entering your consciousness FOREVER. The truth being that your mind is f*cked up and all your frustration in life and with women is dependant of your f*cked up mind. So stop looking for ways to blame "something else" and go deal with yourself!

And don't shoot the messenger. I just see what's wrong with you because I've been you in the past.

 

[edger]

It's not neccesarily your dislike of women, Edger. You're very frustrated with women: on the one hand you want them, on the other hand you hate them, you try to convince yourself they're just good for sex while at the same time you realize that you'd like their attention/approval etc. etc. etc. You're just not congruent in the way you think about them, the way you feel about them and therefor the way you act towards them. Don't try to focus on one aspect, it's just your WHOLE F*CKIN EVERYTHING, you're not at peace with yourself, your thoughts and feelings are all conflicting with each other and ALL THAT just show when you approach a girl.

Dude, I don't know where you've been your whole life, but I've got news for ya, just about every player here(and men in general) has the love/hate(I'd rather not use the word "hate" when describing my dislike for a lot of women, but I'll use it for purposes of this discussion, because it flows better) relationship thing going with women, feeling the exact feelings you describe up top in the beginning of your paragraph. I "want" them because as a human being, as a man, I obviously need women to function; to have a healthy, functioning sex life, the way I need food and water; I "dislike" a lot of them, because they do things for their own selfish gratification at your expense; and of course I want their "approval", for purposes of being able to attract and f*ck them. You're telling me most player's out there and men in general overall, don't feel this way?

The feelings you describe up top are all part of the game. Like it's been said before, the sexe's were meant to be complimentary to one another, not the other way around. We are technically rivals of one another; maybe not "rivals" in the way that we're typically familiar with, but men and women ARE rivals. We are just rivals on a whole other level.

And I couldn't be more at peace with myself. I love everything about myself. I love the man I've become(or am becoming). If I could make love to myself, I would, hahaha. You get what I'm saying though.

And one other thing you might want to make note of: you'll never know anyone here, so you might want to re-consider trying to think you've "figured a poster out" without knowing a single thing about him, without seeing him operate in the field, other than what he says here on a message board, because it is futile. An open mind goes a long way.

 

[wait_out]

About a year ago, I made a pact with myself I would start cold-approaching hotties with regularity in clubs... I [think I'm] being an annoying pain in the ass, a creep, and doing a disservice to these dumb b*tches... This is why I detest it.

Edge dude why persist in doing something you don't really enjoy? You "operate in the field" with a GPS and ballistic plate, if you're just going to a club you should probably focus on enjoying yourself, and stop investing so much in the outcome. I enjoy whispering (ok, yelling) in a girl's ear, playing with her hair, running my hand down her back. It's great! Girls love it too (their friends not so much). Instead of going home frustrated, I go home thinking "man it's great to be alive!"

Option 1) I danced, made fun and flirted with some girls, went home alone. But you know what? I feel good.
Option 2) 'How Soon is Now' by the Smiths.

Most girls go to a club once in a while with their girlfriends. It doesn't mean you can't meet them anywhere else, more importantly doing something you appreciate doing.

Nobody here knows you well, and one size fits all theories aren't going to explain 'women' like they're an undifferentiated mass. But you started this thread talking about changing your mindset, and that's what we're addressing.

I "dislike" a lot of them, because they do things for their own selfish gratification at your expense;

FFS man, you see women as a commodity like food and water which functionally exists satisfy your sexual needs. What's different about that?

Regarding the serial killer angle: how many girls do you personally know who've written and are infatuated with a death row inmate? Are you getting a little carried away with this? And no: not all serial killers kill women because they hate them. They just enjoy killing.

At this point you're being pig-headed. If nobody here can really know you, and thus judge and critique you, isn't it somewhat illogical to ask for advice on your problems? Let's not do a C+P pride war, just decide for yourself if you truly want to listen to people or not. *HINT:* Girls like good listeners

 

[edger]

At this point you're being pig-headed. If nobody here can really know you, and thus judge and critique you, isn't it somewhat illogical to ask for advice on your problems? Let's not do a C+P pride war, just decide for yourself if you truly want to listen to people or not. *HINT:* Girls like good listeners

There's a difference with offering good, constructive, sound advice and making definite claims that "I'm" sending off a vibe that I dislike a lot of women, which women are "detecting". Now don't you think making a definite claim like that is silly, when nobody here has ever seen me interact with a woman or has ever spoken to any woman who has interactd with me to see what she thought of me? I love advice, and that is exactly what I'm seeking; if I didn't welcome other people's perspectives, I would have never created half the threads I've created in the last 4 yrs I've been an active member here. What I of course don't welcome and take seriously however, is when people make definite claims that are in solid stone, without any facts to back it up, because once again, nobody here has ever observed me in the field or has ever asked these women who have interacted with me, what they have thought of me. If people want to speculate possible reasons why I might be getting blown off, fine, afterall, that's what I want, but to pinpoint something in particular about me that's causing me to get blown off by all these women, without ever having observed any one of my interactions, is downright absurd and silly. That's all I'm saying.

Anyhow, I can see this thread is probably likely to go nowhere. If it carries on any further, it'll just go into 20 pages of reiterations, so I'll stop here. Sometimes I feel like I'm debating with women behind some of these screen names(and you all know what that's like), or maybe I really am? I'd never know. -- Peace

 

[8YearLurker]

Option 2) 'How Soon is Now' by the Smiths.

There's a club if you'd like to go
you could meet somebody who really loves you
so you go, and you stand on your own
and you leave on your own
and you go home, and you cry
and you want to die

:rockon:

 

[wait_out]

Bad vibe or not aside, there's still a lot of good advice here about having a better mindset and enjoying yourself more in your interactions with women. So don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.

 

[Die Hard]

Dude, I don't know where you've been your whole life, but I've got news for ya, just about every player here(and men in general) has the love/hate(I'd rather not use the word "hate" when describing my dislike for a lot of women, but I'll use it for purposes of this discussion, because it flows better) relationship thing going with women, feeling the exact feelings you describe up top in the beginning of your paragraph. I "want" them because as a human being, as a man, I obviously need women to function; to have a healthy, functioning sex life, the way I need food and water; I "dislike" a lot of them, because they do things for their own selfish gratification at your expense; and of course I want their "approval", for purposes of being able to attract and f*ck them. You're telling me most player's out there and men in general overall, don't feel this way?

The feelings you describe up top are all part of the game. Like it's been said before, the sexe's were meant to be complimentary to one another, not the other way around. We are technically rivals of one another; maybe not "rivals" in the way that we're typically familiar with, but men and women ARE rivals. We are just rivals on a whole other level.

And I couldn't be more at peace with myself. I love everything about myself. I love the man I've become(or am becoming). If I could make love to myself, I would, hahaha. You get what I'm saying though.

And one other thing you might want to make note of: you'll never know anyone here, so you might want to re-consider trying to think you've "figured a poster out" without knowing a single thing about him, without seeing him operate in the field, other than what he says here on a message board, because it is futile. An open mind goes a long way.

Okay, you're right. Please forget what I said about you and never think about it again.