I am socially retarded.

[ElStud]

I'm very bad at being social, and I want to change that. The main reason is that I suck at conversation and suck at being interesting. I have friends and all, but I can't even have a good conversation with them. If I can't even hold a good conversation with my own friends, how am I going to hold a good conversation with a women? Or even hold a conversation when I just want to make friends with another guy I know, with my current social skills, I can't. I know what you have to do to make people interested is tell stories or be funny, but I'm not good at either of them. For the funny thing, I'm not just not funny, and for the stories thing, I don't have many funny stories to tell. I'm the guy who rarely talks. An example of this is at a Jazz Band concert last night, when we where waiting for the concert to start. Pretty much everyone else in the band was talking, except for 2 or 3 dudes. I tried to join in a friends conversation there and while he sort of chatted with me a bit, I couldn't hold his interest. Or today at the track meet, I occassionally talked to a few of my friends, but we never really had a good conversation. I was also afraid to approach these two girls(Jacquie, girl I like was one of them) on the team there, because I knew my social skills sucked and we wouldn't get anywhere. I thought to ask them stuff like "Hey, what events are you doing?", but that's boring, I'm not going to get anywhere with the girls asking those types of questions. You see, my conversational skills are bad because whenever I have a conversation, it's either an interview(Questions, questions, and more questions) or just, not very interesting. Also, all their male friends kind of intimidated me. But I've gone on way to long, how can I become more social and how can I improve my conversational skills?

 

[guayaballer]

get into a sport or hobby. i play basketball and thats basically how i made most of my friends they introduced me to their friends and so on. get into a sport meet someone with the same interests as you then eventually hang out with some of them and funny and interesting stuff is bound to happen to you. and about being funny some people are born funny some are just born funny lookin :woo: but watch some comedians that make you laugh they usually have funny stories and funny observations. it starts off like that and with more and more practice youll get the hang of it.

 

[ElStud]

get into a sport or hobby. i play basketball and thats basically how i made most of my friends they introduced me to their friends and so on. get into a sport meet someone with the same interests as you then eventually hang out with some of them and funny and interesting stuff is bound to happen to you. and about being funny some people are born funny some are just born funny lookin :woo: but watch some comedians that make you laugh they usually have funny stories and funny observations. it starts off like that and with more and more practice youll get the hang of it.

Don't know if you missed it in the post, but I'm in track. Tonights meet is what made me realize just how socially retarded I am. You still have to have good social skills to make friends in track, I mean come on, there's not really much you can say about track itself(Ask them what event their in, blah, blah, that'll never go anywhere). Same thing with band, we all like music, we all play an instrument, but nobody really wants to talk about that. My big problem is making people interested. But do you have any recommendations for comedians? There are thousands of them out there.

I can't blame people for not being interested. If someone came up to me asked me:

Person: Hey, what event are you in?
Me: Oh, distance.
Person: Oh. Do you like distance?
Me: Yeah, it's okay.
Person: Ah, I do shotput myself.
Me: Really? How's that going for you?
Person: Pretty good.

or

Person: Hey, you ready for the band concert tommorow?
Me: Yeah, it's going to be pretty cool.
Person: What instrument do you play?
Me: Saxophone.
Person: Oh that's cool.

I'd be pretty bored too. That's a typical conversation for me, yep, it's boring. Certainly isn't going to make people interested.

 

[Cowhead418]

Don't know if you missed it in the post, but I'm in track. Tonights meet is what made me realize just how socially retarded I am. You still have to have good social skills to make friends in track, I mean come on, there's not really much you can say about track itself(Ask them what event their in, blah, blah, that'll never go anywhere). Same thing with band, we all like music, we all play an instrument, but nobody really wants to talk about that. My big problem is making people interested. But do you have any recommendations for comedians? There are thousands of them out there.

I can't blame people for not being interested. If someone came up to me asked me:

That's a typical conversation for me, yep, it's boring.

What do you mean you can't talk much about Track? I'm a distance runner in Track at my school, and we're all really close friends. We have had hour-long conversations about Track - I think it's a great way to make friends. What events do you do? As for talking to other guys - it's simple. Anything from girls, sports, movie quotes, inside jokes, and TV shows should be enough for some good male bonding. There's got to be some sports team/movie/TV show that you and your friends have in common that you can have lengthy conversations about. Then just build from there. All my best friends I've met through my sports, it's a great way to meet new people.

EDIT: I just re-read your post and saw that your event is distance. There has to be other distance runners on the team. My advice would be to make friends with them. Your conversations should definately be more interesting than "What is your event?"

 

[WhiteSoledShoes]

Watching comedians is a really good idea for developing sense of humor. The first step you need to take is find what kind of humor makes you laugh. That type of humor will come easiest to you to replicate because it will be natural.

Like for me, I watched a lot of Andy Milonakis, Jim Gaffigan, Norm MacDonald, Mitch Hedberg(RIP), .etc since they made me laugh the hardest. I even remember last year in math while I was working on my humor specifically I told some joke or something and some guy was like "you watch way too much Andy Milonakis".

Once you start watching your type of humor you will just start to get better and wittier.

To get you started here are some basics you might wanna check out

If you have a ______ sense of humor:
Intelligent, fact based, social commentary - George Carlin, Dennis Miller
Sarcastic - Andrew Dice Clay, Dennis Leary, Colin Quinn, Conan O'Brien
Observational - Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Cosby
Weird - The guys I listed above in my example especially Mitch Hedberg lol
Obnoxious - Chris Rock, Dane Cook, Dave Chappelle
Physical - Jim Carrey?

 

[nicenomore]

. For the funny thing, I'm not just not funny, and for the stories thing, I don't have many funny stories to tell.

Dude...assuming you are at least 17 years old , well dude ..you got 17 years of life...and you say there has been nothing funny or interesting happen to you???

Most imortantly , remember : a story isnt funny or interesting unless in the context of the talk. For example , if you are talking about sports , then a story about travel doesnot fit in ...it will make you look a social retard.....

You see, my conversational skills are bad because whenever I have a conversation, it's either an interview(Questions, questions, and more questions)

In case you feel you are going interview style ...eject......
otherwise as Juggler says: Never talk in questions..talk in statements..that maks it less formal...if you get the drift.

Also, all their male friends kind of intimidated me.

For great articles on story telling by Wilder and reading about dealing with AMOGS..head over to themysterymethod.com/forum
they have good articles there.....

 

[ElStud]

What do you mean you can't talk much about Track? I'm a distance runner in Track at my school, and we're all really close friends. We have had hour-long conversations about Track - I think it's a great way to make friends. What events do you do? As for talking to other guys - it's simple. Anything from girls, sports, movie quotes, inside jokes, and TV shows should be enough for some good male bonding. There's got to be some sports team/movie/TV show that you and your friends have in common that you can have lengthy conversations about. Then just build from there. All my best friends I've met through my sports, it's a great way to meet new people.

EDIT: I just re-read your post and saw that your event is distance. There has to be other distance runners on the team. My advice would be to make friends with them. Your conversations should definately be more interesting than "What is your event?"

Yeah, my event is distance and there are other distance members on the team, but like I said I'm not good socially. I don't want to go up to them and give them an interview. People rarely talk about track. Oh, and what would you suggest other than "What is your event?" I mean, I personally can't think of anything better but that doesn't surprise me. But no, I never hear even the social people track, ever really talking about track. They might occassionally have a conversation about it, but the basis of the conversation is not on track.

In case you feel you are going interview style ...eject......
otherwise as Juggler says: Never talk in questions..talk in statements..that maks it less formal...if you get the drift.

Well, how do you speak in statements?

Watching comedians is a really good idea for developing sense of humor. The first step you need to take is find what kind of humor makes you laugh. That type of humor will come easiest to you to replicate because it will be natural.

Like for me, I watched a lot of Andy Milonakis, Jim Gaffigan, Norm MacDonald, Mitch Hedberg(RIP), .etc since they made me laugh the hardest. I even remember last year in math while I was working on my humor specifically I told some joke or something and some guy was like "you watch way too much Andy Milonakis".

Once you start watching your type of humor you will just start to get better and wittier.

To get you started here are some basics you might wanna check out

If you have a ______ sense of humor:
Intelligent, fact based, social commentary - George Carlin, Dennis Miller
Sarcastic - Andrew Dice Clay, Dennis Leary, Colin Quinn, Conan O'Brien
Observational - Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Cosby
Weird - The guys I listed above in my example especially Mitch Hedberg lol
Obnoxious - Chris Rock, Dane Cook, Dave Chappelle
Physical - Jim Carrey?

Thanks for those suggestions. Personally, I don't find Andy Milonakis stuff funny, but again, maybe that's not my type of humor.

Dude...assuming you are at least 17 years old , well dude ..you got 17 years of life...and you say there has been nothing funny or interesting happen to you???

Not really that I can remember. If I try to make a story out of something that happened, it always sucks:

So I was on the bus just chilling looking out the window, when I hear this random dude say how big this random teachers d*ck must be and everyone else was like "What the f*ck?". It was funny because it was random and it kind came out of nowhere.

So I was leaving this Jazz Band practice and I was bombarded by a bunch of old people telling me that I did well, since, yeah, we were playing for old people. Then this random old guy comes up and tells me I did good. But after that the old kind of grabs my arm, little weird and tells me "Sometimes I look down on the younger generation, but when I look at kids like you I feel good about the future generation". So I'm sitting here stumped not knowing what to say, after all, it's not often someone says this to you. So yeah, I just said "I'm glad you liked it".

So there's this one random day at band practice and this hot chick named Marissa randomly comes up to me and starts talking to me. Yeah, I'm kind of surprised right now, but I figure, hell why not go along with. So as if out of nowhere this chick tells me how she used to play piano. I tell her she could jam with me and she gets better. And then this crazy sh*t happens, this chick just starts playing, and I'm like what the f*ck. So I try to join in on what she's doing, but I'm not feeling it.

That reminds me of this one time when I was younger and went to Myrtle Beach South Carolina. So I was just swimming in the water and found this 20$ bill. Being young and very stupid, I gave that 20$ to my parents. I should of kept the money.

Dude, I can't tell good stories.

 

[gmillar]

Dude! You aren't socially retarded, you're just retarded. You think posting on this board about all your problems is going to do ANYTHING? Hell no. Honestly stop being such a bltch and get off the computer, go talk to people!

 

[Kev07]

stories, concerns, jokes

that's all you need to know.

make up the stories, fake your concerns, copy a joke if you have to

 

[ElStud]

Dude! You aren't socially retarded, you're just retarded. You think posting on this board about all your problems is going to do ANYTHING? Hell no. Honestly stop being such a bltch and get off the computer, go talk to people!

I have tried talking to people, I'm bad at it, that's why I made this topic. And get off the computer? Did you even read the f*cking topic? I'm on track tard.

stories, concerns, jokes

that's all you need to know.

make up the stories, fake your concerns, copy a joke if you have to

That's good I guess. But even when making up stories I'm bad.

 

[Kev07]

That's good I guess. But even when making up stories I'm bad.

do what you do with jokes then, copy a story.

 

[ElStud]

do what you do with jokes then, copy a story.

Sounds like a good plan. I'd really just rather figure out to make my own stories funny though. Like, dude, what makes a story funny or interesting?

 

[nicenomore]

Well, how do you speak in statements?

Ex:

HB: I like traveling
El: "Where have you been?"
HB: I've been to A, B, C etc (places)
El: Really I was in A too.....blah blah blah ...and off you go.......
HB: When I went there ....blah blah blah

Notice, you didn’t ask her really what happened when she went there. She gave the info to you without even asking for it. Find commonalities with people.

As the Godfather (novel) goes: Rajione with a person (which means rejoin with them, empathies with them, feel pity for them etc.).


Another way is:
HB: I like traveling
El: “Where have you been?"
HB: I've been to A, B, C etc (places)
El:" Really, how did going to this place make you feel?
HB: Blah blah...
El: What if ... (For example she says she went to a hill station, where it rained.)...what if... imagine, you are on the top of the hill, with the clear night sky above you, and he valley below...and suddenly you head he growl of a lion?
(The main point of the lion was to introduce a little twist and to make it exciting: Note his is not Field tested yet)

Dude, I can't tell good stories.

You haven’t told how you felt in hose stories...be more emotive.

Women are emotional creatures. They love feeling to logic

BTW: did you read up the articles I asked you too????
If not go to themysteymethod.com/forum and look up Best of forum and Classic writings, miscellaneous section.....and read up all of it... that site is GOLD....



I'm posting a small part from jugglers post(you can subscribe to it online@ charismaarts.com) :

If you ask a personal question out of the blue you will put her
on the defensive. Unfortunately many guys do that.

Man: "Where are you from?"

Woman: "Uh... I'm from in town."

Man: "Come on, you must live somewhere."

Woman: "Uh... I'd rather not say."

Man: "Oh, okay."

Woman: "I have to go, bye."

I hear this sort of thing all the time. This happens even when
the woman likes the man. Somehow the man still goofs it up. He
walks away frustrated and presuming that he showed too much
interest in her. But he has made a logical error. His mistake
was he asked her a question which had no reasonable interest
behind it. "Where are you from?" makes her uneasy because she
wants to know, "Why do you want to know?" But of course she is
too polite to say that, so she just gives a non-committal answer.
That answer is so non-committal that our guy does not know what
to do with it except demand she give him a better one. She then
totally closes up and wants to get away from him. This happens
to men who have the best of intentions.

In order to make a woman feel comfortable answering a personal
question you must tell her why you want to know. If you recall
from the last lesson, that is the first part of effective
escalation and asking a personal question is escalation: from a
platonic to a personal interaction.

Man: "I'm enjoying talking with you. Don't get a big head but
you seem too cool to be from around here. Where are you from?"

Woman: "I'm from a little neighborhood in the city called
Abbott's Junction. People say we have an accent."

Man: "That's funny. I get the same thing from people who have
lived in my town their entire lives."

Much better. Our man demonstrates why he is escalating to a
personal interaction. He tells her directly why he is asking a
personal question. This makes her feel comfortable answering.
Her answer is committed and full. This in turn makes it easy for
our guy to relate to her. The same thing happens every time you
escalate the interaction towards a more intimate stage. In order
for her to feel comfortable she wants to know why you want to go
there. So, tell her.

You: "I am enjoying talking with you. I never thought I would
meet someone who likes cactus cantaloupe like me. I have to know
about you now. What's your life story?"

Her: (laughing) "That's a big question. Where to begin (more
laughing)..."

You: "I'll tell you what. What are you doing for the next five
minutes? Let's sit down and have a cup of coffee and I can get
to hear all about it."

Her: "Sure, that sounds nice."

Don't be afraid of to show interest in a woman so long as it is
grounded in a good reason. Then you are not just trying to
escalate with her because she is attractive. You are escalating
because she has done or said something unique.

 

[Kev07]

Sounds like a good plan. I'd really just rather figure out to make my own stories funny though. Like, dude, what makes a story funny or interesting?

i have 1 word for you: exaggeration

and also very fine details (might not make funny, but makes good)

 

[ElStud]

I see. I'm liking the sarcastical humor.

 

[BluEyes]

I don't understand why so many people like sarcastic humour...

It's sort of pathetic, and really easy to use... Sort of a lowest form of humour.

But to each his own, right?

-----

All I'm going to say is, keep working on learning how to tell stories.. look up Funny Stories or something like that on Google. Keep learning, its very very useful to be able to captivate a group of people. Don't give up.

Sarcasm is pretty pathetic and I don't remember the last time I laughed at a sarcastic comment... leave sarcasm to skinny, insecure b1tches.

 

[CCKazi007]

Rule number one of convo is make sure it's fun to you and the other person. Well I'm a jerk so I really am interested more in self-satifying myself. If a convo gets boring, which rarely happens I usually say random sh*t and that usually makes the other side talk more. lol Make sure you find something that you both like and talk about that and then make sure you tease. If you wanna learn what's funny watch Family Guy, Southpark, Comedy Central and STANDUPS! By Blue Collar comedy, Ron White, Chris Rock and others.

Guys talk to exchange info and humor, while chicks talk to exchange emotions not like one but like all of them. So make sure you tell a funny story and then tie that into a sad story like how your sat on your pet rabbit and it was your best friend or watever so you wrote poems and had a small funeral for it... wow that's was gay, you get the idea.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

I don't understand why so many people like sarcastic humour...

It's sort of pathetic, and really easy to use... Sort of a lowest form of humour.

But to each his own, right?

-----

All I'm going to say is, keep working on learning how to tell stories.. look up Funny Stories or something like that on Google. Keep learning, its very very useful to be able to captivate a group of people. Don't give up.

Sarcasm is pretty pathetic and I don't remember the last time I laughed at a sarcastic comment... leave sarcasm to skinny, insecure b1tches.

wtf? how is sarcasm pathetic? to me, when a hot girl uses sarcasm in a nice way that matches her personality... i find it REALLY attractive. ...not pathetic at all.

it shows that the girl is witty and not an idiot like all those skin-baked, fake bleached-blonde hair who giggle at everything you say in their stupid fake high-pitched voice.

 

[Kev07]

wtf? how is sarcasm pathetic? to me, when a hot girl uses sarcasm in a nice way that matches her personality... i find it REALLY attractive. ...not pathetic at all.

it shows that the girl is witty and not an idiot like all those skin-baked, fake bleached-blonde hair who giggle at everything you say in their stupid fake high-pitched voice.

sarcastic humor is easily overdone, so unless you really know what you're doing with sarcastic humor, don't try it, you're going to piss people off.

and i would agree that it is a low form of humor, but lowest would probably be stereotypical, although stereo typical jokes are usually the most funny.

 

[ElStud]

Rule number one of convo is make sure it's fun to you and the other person. Well I'm a jerk so I really am interested more in self-satifying myself. If a convo gets boring, which rarely happens I usually say random sh*t and that usually makes the other side talk more. lol Make sure you find something that you both like and talk about that and then make sure you tease. If you wanna learn what's funny watch Family Guy, Southpark, Comedy Central and STANDUPS! By Blue Collar comedy, Ron White, Chris Rock and others.

Guys talk to exchange info and humor, while chicks talk to exchange emotions not like one but like all of them. So make sure you tell a funny story and then tie that into a sad story like how your sat on your pet rabbit and it was your best friend or watever so you wrote poems and had a small funeral for it... wow that's was gay, you get the idea.

Convo gets boring, say random sh*t, got it. Again, I know several girls into the same things as me(you know track and band), that I can't get 2 sentences out of. I'll check out those reccomendations.

I don't understand why so many people like sarcastic humour...

It's sort of pathetic, and really easy to use... Sort of a lowest form of humour.

But to each his own, right?

-----

All I'm going to say is, keep working on learning how to tell stories.. look up Funny Stories or something like that on Google. Keep learning, its very very useful to be able to captivate a group of people. Don't give up.

Sarcasm is pretty pathetic and I don't remember the last time I laughed at a sarcastic comment... leave sarcasm to skinny, insecure b1tches.

Well since I see sarcastic humor really isn't the best thing to do, what kind of humor is good? What kind of humor will make people laugh? I'll try to tell funnier stories, but to be honest I don't know what makes a story funny.

you're not just socially retarded, you're just retarded in general

Hmm... trying to actually give a sh*t about your post, still trying to give a sh*t, nope, I don't give a sh*t about you're unhelpful post.

Well, according to my friends, "Marissa" is taken, at least for the prom. According to my friends there's this guy who's REALLY good friends with her who's taking her. Ah, screw prom, who am I kidding, I just want to get laid. Oh well, Marissa's loss, there's this chick named Naomi in the same grade I'd like to try and game. Problem is is that she's one of those smart girls, would probably be hard to get. I don't see her too often anyway.