Humor+Personality

[theprime]

Hey everyone. First post, long time lurker.

I wanted to get a few of your opinions on the topic of humor and spontaneity. A few people around the forum seem to think that you either have the ability to be humorous or you don't - that humor is an inherent talent that only a select few can do well.

Personally, I think that's an enormous load of sh*t. I refuse to accept that viewpoint.

What contributes to your personality and ability to be humorous more than anything else, is the environment that you put yourself within. If you are a recluse and sit on your computer all day limiting your interaction with the outside world - you are probably going to have difficulty conversing with, and relating to, various people that you meet throughout your life. If you were raised by conservative, middle-aged, overprotective parents who watch nothing but the news for entertainment - you are probably going to have the most weak sense of humor in the world. The opposite holds true as well.

As a result, I have been trying lately to enhance my ability to make people laugh... because I actually grew up in the above environment. I really feel that humor is not only a vital component to seduction, but extremely important in all areas of life as well. I really want to become the exact opposite of what my parents were, and it scares me to death when I hear people reciting the popular mantra "you become your parents". I realize it's going to take a lot of time and effort to "de-program" what was embedded within me all of my early life.

So for some of you that were more fortunate than me, and were able to experience a more liberal family life - what do you think are the most important aspects to being a dynamic, spontaneous, and humorous person?

 

[DjDreamer]

You are going about it all backwards... you make other people laugh by making yourself laugh... when you seek to make yourself laugh you will laugh regardless of being around persons who don't have a funny bone in their body... and your laughter just might be contagious...

 

[theprime]

That's a refreshing perspective on things DjDreamer. You just have to hope that what you find funny dosen't conflict with what most other people find funny as well. I tend to have somewhat of a sarcastic sense of humor. A lot of girls don't really appreciate sarcasm all too much, and many don't even recognize when you are being sarcastic at times.

So, as a result I have been exposing myself to a lot of other forms of humor.

Dane Cook, for instance is fcking hilarious and a great example of well done physical humor while Jerry Sienfeld is the master of situational humor. I've found the more that I listen to these people the more I assimilate their techniques.

 

[DjDreamer]

Originally posted by theprime
That's a refreshing perspective on things DjDreamer. You just have to hope that what you find funny dosen't conflict with what most other people find funny as well.

True... humor is like walking... when walking one must be careful not to step on other people's toes... it's also like race car driving... when driving at high speeds one must be careful not to crash into other cars and corners... one must shift gear...

 

[RaWBLooD]

Originally posted by DjDreamer
True... humor is like walking... when walking one must be careful not to step on other people's toes... it's also like race car driving... when driving at high speeds one must be careful not to crash into other cars and corners... one must shift gear...

dont care about what other people think, EVERYBODY in the world wont like u, no matter how charming u become.

 

[Skydiver43127]

You just have to hope that what you find funny dosen't conflict with what most other people find funny as well. I tend to have somewhat of a sarcastic sense of humor. A lot of girls don't really appreciate sarcasm all too much, and many don't even recognize when you are being sarcastic at times.

What other people think doesn't matter. Funny is funny. If girls don't understand you, pick on them for being being dull and not having sense of humour.

In your place I would concentrate on body language, posture, voice tone, building up general confidence. I know from experience these things tremendously affect the probability of the girl laughing at your jokes. The same jokes.

Keep watching, but concentrate on the presentation - that's what distinguishes funny people from people with sence of humour.

 

[DjDreamer]

Originally posted by RaWBLooD
dont care about what other people think, EVERYBODY in the world wont like u, no matter how charming u become.

Agreed...

But I believe humor is best served when mixed with a healthy dose of intellect and empathy... that's maturity...

Now you can eat off the ground if you like but when serving others it's best you make them sit at a table with plates and utensils...

 

[DjDreamer]

Originally posted by Skydiver43127
What other people think doesn't matter. Funny is funny. If girls don't understand you, pick on them for being being dull and not having sense of humour.

Funny is such a subjective thing... at a funeral nothing is really funny... your jokes will crash at a funeral... just like the race car driver refusing to switch gears at the upcoming corner...

 

[Skydiver43127]

Funny is such a subjective thing... at a funeral nothing is really funny... your jokes will crash at a funeral... just like the race car driver refusing to switch gears at the upcoming corner...

Picking girls up at funerals? That's an original thought.

Anyway, feeling the mood of the people around you and presenting (or not presenting) the joke according to your observations is still well within the boundary of general presentation skills.

 

[Keeper]

Originally posted by theprime
humor is an inherent talent that only a select few can do well

Agreed on the point that that is a sh!t notion. If you study laughter from a psychological point of view, you'll understand why the above mentioned concept is false.

We laugh to release tension. Hearing laughter also releases tension, and that's why we join along. But if you laugh at your own jokes, you'd better pray to god what you just said was funny, because then they're laughing AT you.

Also, never laugh to make other people laugh. It's very low if you delibaretly laugh to release tension - and look down on that kind of behaviour in other people. Hence my disagreement with DJ Dreamers first comment.

From what David D taught me in ****y Comedy, a high status person won't laugh to make other people laugh. By not laughing himself, he creates tension in other people, and thus their laughter is amplified when you say a joke. By laughing, they're seeking approval. That's why stand up comedians always stand on an elevation: to have more status - it makes laughing at his jokes something of a must.

That's where skydiver made a good point... presentation of your jokes is just as important, possibly even more important, than the joke itself. Not to say that what you say doesn't matter... but just understand that it matters less.

Originally posted by theprime

I tend to have somewhat of a sarcastic sense of humor. A lot of girls don't really appreciate sarcasm all too much

Not so. Sarcasm is very cool; and that brings me to a new point.

Inner humour comes from HOW you look at the world. Alter the way you see things....

Example: My buddy Michael is positive and energetic, bla bla bla. Yet his humour just ooozes with sarcasm and pessimism. Because he doesn't radiate any negative energy even though his jokes might incline him too, people find that funny.

"Hey Mike, you gonna finish the rest of that pizza?"
"Naah man, that's like such a waste of energy."

"Hey, come sit here, it's a better seat."
(1 m away) "Duuude, are you crazy? That's too far away... I'm not walking that far!"

Reading this it may not seem so funny... but because of his presentation, it's hillarious.

Here are a few possible rols you could look at the world through to make it seem funny: high profile drama queen, extreme pessimist, extreme optimist, crack junky, sex-deprived *****, overly voilent person, and "I care about the details" business man. It may all seem silly, but try it.

Listen to Jerry Seinfeld talk... you'll pick up that he makes fun of the MOST obvious things like people buying milk everyday. Yet it's soo funny... just because of the way HE sees it. If you present your joke well, other people will see how you see things... and that's gold.

Good luck.

 

[DjDreamer]

Interesting how you use psychology, release of tension, presentation and Jerry Seinfeld to describe humor... without even mentioning TIMING...

The real reason why a comedian seldom laughs at his own jokes is not because he doesn't want to appear as a bafoon before the audience... it's because he wants the timing to be just right... he wants to perform his act just like he performed it the night before and the night before that... he wants to have good comedic rhythm...

 

[Keeper]

Yeah, I guess I could have squeezed timing in there somewhere. There's nothing wrong with a slight chuckle at your joke after everyone has gotten it.

But yeah... cracking a joke, laughing your @ss off, and not having anyone join you in the laughter is just a bit in the 'you don't wanna be there' zone.

 

[crossboss]

Humor advice

I think anybody can be funny if they know what to say when the situations come. Sometimes you need to a little help to get started.

For example you could try these lines:

Someone says "you are as ugly as a dog."

You could say either "Hey, I actually find dogs attractive"
or
Bark.

Or a final exam is comming up:

Say "Ready for your final exam? Are you pumped?"
then curl your biceps

If someone falls say:

"First day on you new feet?"

What would be better than talking about how to be funny is to post situations in the past and you said something funny and post examples. Once you have memorized certain things to say that are funny, and then it will be easier to come up with your own jokes. You will gain experience and confidence, that I think should help when you come up with your own jokes. Also facial and hand motions help. Most of the time when I used the jokes above I usually got a laugh so try them sometime.

 

[McKindley]

I know a lot of guys who are DJs that aren't really funny. If you pay attention, most of the people you meet aren't really very funny at all.

I'm actually a pretty funny guy. But it doesn't get me laid. Its not like that one aspect of you is what's holding you back. A lot of the guys on this board somehow think that if you can make a girl laugh all night those panties magically slide to the floor.

As for your question about the important aspects of being a spontaneous, humorous person, I'd say one thing that helps is listening to a comment a person makes, and then look at it from a different angle.

For example, imagine someone says, "my brother has a lazy eye."

You could say, "hey, man, wouldn't it be cool if you could have the opposite of a lazy eye. Like, if you had this one really diligent eye, that's always on top of things. And people noticed, and they'd say, 'dude, that guy has that one really diligent eye. That guy's eyeball doesn't play around, it really gets to the business at hand, that guy's eyeball does."

And, obviously, a lot of being funny is your personality. Your general demeanor. I don't know how describe it any better. But its not rocket science, you know.

 

[theprime]

Some great insight in this thread. I've enjoyed reading all of your different, and sometimes similar, perspectives.

I'm generally a funny guy ... within my own scope of humor. I am just interested in the techniques and methods that everyone else here employs. I really want to expand my scope and basically step things up a bit. I've been playing around with the idea of writing great jokes / situational material down so that I can impliment them more readily on the fly but I haven't really spent enough time on it yet for it to be of any use.

I actually had a great approach recently while at the local Walgreens:

I needed to pick up school supplies and some toys for my dogs ... so I ended up grabbing a package of rawhide bones, and a few notebooks and pencils. I walked up to the register and the clerk was a hb8-8.5.

Me: Yeah, this is quite possibly the most odd combination of items I think I've ever bought!

Her: *chuckle and a smile*

Me: Rawhide... and notebooks. Everything a man could ever need.

Her: Oh yeah?

Me: Yeah ... I like to go home, recline comfortably on my couch, crack open a few rawhide bones, and just chew on them while I write... profusely.

And she was cracking up at this point ... I was surprised how easy it was to get her to the point of loud genuine laughter and I thought it was pretty spontaneous. Didn't ask for her number or anything, but I probably could have gotten it if I wasn't in a rush to head home.

If you're creative you can squeeze quality material out of any situation. I just need to get myself in the habit of flexing that muscle a bit more often. All too often I find myself in a hurry to just get from place to place rather then attempting to use each situation as an opportunity to become more sociable.

The hardest thing for me involves coming up with good witty remarks on the fly. There has been so many times where I think of the perfect thing to say 2 minutes later, when the subject has passed already.

And no I don't think humor is a magical voodoo spell that instantly removes panties.

It's an essential skill for engaging people in akward situations - and building rapport fast. People really feel more comfortable around someone that is very funny, genuine, and articulate. I want to be that person, and I'm willing to do anything that it takes to get there.

 

[DjDreamer]

Here is a detailed explanation of that thing called funny...

http://rinkworks.com/funny/