PlayerinTraining
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 16, 2002
- Messages
- 335
- Reaction score
- 4
I've heard women of all sorts complain about their various and contradicting relationship problems, ranging from "He's not sensitive" to "Where are the REAL men."
After much thought, I've come to the conclusion that WOMEN are to blame for their own unhappiness when it comes to relationship with men, but are incapable of accepting responsibility for it.
They cannot even imagine how confused and frustrated most good men are when it comes to women. Yet, if you try to explain it to them, they say "Oh, stop whining and BE A MAN." And women are supposed to be nurturing, as well as good communicators! What bullshyt.
Think of it like this: when you were growing up, who had the most influence on you? When you were a baby, your mother took care of you, since dad (if you were lucky to even see your dad) was too busy busting his butt trying to earn a buck--TO KEEP YOUR MOM HAPPY. You learned that to be a "good boy" was to make your mom happy, both from mom and dad.
Once you went to school, you learned that to be a "good boy" was to make your teacher (most likely a woman) happy.
Of course, being a child, you didn't know enough to question that advice. If you did, you would be so confused, you would be unable to function.
Later on, you become an adolescent, and start to get these weird feelings for females, which confused you even more.
Your entire life up to this point has been defined as "learning how to please a female." To deal with these new desires for relationships with women, you start out using the rational ways to gain their favor--complements, kindness, favors, prove your worth, etc. You basically treat a woman as even better than an equal, although you define it to yourself as "being fair". These seem especially likely to work, since you have been taught to treat people fairly--ie. to follow the golden rule.
You are shocked to find out that not only does the "rational" way of relating to women not work, the very women you are trying to impress think you are a fool for doing it, even though they don't tell you that. You only figure it out when you have went out of your way for some girl, only to find out you have been used and then discarded. You are more confused, frustrated, and depressed than ever.
The problem: Whether you like this or not, it is female desires and wishes that define what the vague concept of "a real man" is. Because this is a widely shared assumption, few even see it.
And because women are fickle (always changing their mind), NO MAN can live up to their expectations for long. When a man fails to receive a woman's approval, he feels like less of a man--worthless. This is the underlying cause of the typical man's fear of rejection.
Think: If you are an unemployed man for an extended period of time, how do you feel? Like "less of a man?" Men, as I've been taught, are supposed to be able to take care of themselves and their families. As a reward, they are attractive to women.
Men without women, or men who have difficulty attracting women are thought of as being "less of a man" (ie. gay). So there is pressure on men to find ANY woman, regardless of her beauty--so even the less than desirable women will be provided for.
Ending the Male fear of Female Rejection
If you are a typical, straight, American man, your desire for female companionship is a given. Yet, you don't really know how to get it, and are probably afraid to try--lest you be ridiculed or scorned for "just looking for sex", as if it is only the WOMAN'S NEEDS that are important.
Look at the facts. The person (woman) by whom you judge your worth, is typically deceptive, manipulative, arbitrary, and selfish. She likely has NO regard for your wellbeing.
Of course, not ALL women are like this. But think--if you saw a woman being attacked by a strange guy, what is your first reaction? Now, if a woman sees you in trouble, what is HER first reaction?
Men (as a group) are more concerned about a woman's welfare (as a group) than their own.
Should you take the opinion of such a morally flawed creature so seriously? Could the shame she is trying to make you feel simply be part of her strategy to confuse and manipulate you, against your best wishes?
Once think about it, and realize its truth, the opinion of a woman will no longer have any power over you.
Bottom line, the only time you should worry about keeping a woman happy is when her behavior has earned your respect.
I'll write more on this later...
After much thought, I've come to the conclusion that WOMEN are to blame for their own unhappiness when it comes to relationship with men, but are incapable of accepting responsibility for it.
They cannot even imagine how confused and frustrated most good men are when it comes to women. Yet, if you try to explain it to them, they say "Oh, stop whining and BE A MAN." And women are supposed to be nurturing, as well as good communicators! What bullshyt.
Think of it like this: when you were growing up, who had the most influence on you? When you were a baby, your mother took care of you, since dad (if you were lucky to even see your dad) was too busy busting his butt trying to earn a buck--TO KEEP YOUR MOM HAPPY. You learned that to be a "good boy" was to make your mom happy, both from mom and dad.
Once you went to school, you learned that to be a "good boy" was to make your teacher (most likely a woman) happy.
Of course, being a child, you didn't know enough to question that advice. If you did, you would be so confused, you would be unable to function.
Later on, you become an adolescent, and start to get these weird feelings for females, which confused you even more.
Your entire life up to this point has been defined as "learning how to please a female." To deal with these new desires for relationships with women, you start out using the rational ways to gain their favor--complements, kindness, favors, prove your worth, etc. You basically treat a woman as even better than an equal, although you define it to yourself as "being fair". These seem especially likely to work, since you have been taught to treat people fairly--ie. to follow the golden rule.
You are shocked to find out that not only does the "rational" way of relating to women not work, the very women you are trying to impress think you are a fool for doing it, even though they don't tell you that. You only figure it out when you have went out of your way for some girl, only to find out you have been used and then discarded. You are more confused, frustrated, and depressed than ever.
The problem: Whether you like this or not, it is female desires and wishes that define what the vague concept of "a real man" is. Because this is a widely shared assumption, few even see it.
And because women are fickle (always changing their mind), NO MAN can live up to their expectations for long. When a man fails to receive a woman's approval, he feels like less of a man--worthless. This is the underlying cause of the typical man's fear of rejection.
Think: If you are an unemployed man for an extended period of time, how do you feel? Like "less of a man?" Men, as I've been taught, are supposed to be able to take care of themselves and their families. As a reward, they are attractive to women.
Men without women, or men who have difficulty attracting women are thought of as being "less of a man" (ie. gay). So there is pressure on men to find ANY woman, regardless of her beauty--so even the less than desirable women will be provided for.
Ending the Male fear of Female Rejection
If you are a typical, straight, American man, your desire for female companionship is a given. Yet, you don't really know how to get it, and are probably afraid to try--lest you be ridiculed or scorned for "just looking for sex", as if it is only the WOMAN'S NEEDS that are important.
Look at the facts. The person (woman) by whom you judge your worth, is typically deceptive, manipulative, arbitrary, and selfish. She likely has NO regard for your wellbeing.
Of course, not ALL women are like this. But think--if you saw a woman being attacked by a strange guy, what is your first reaction? Now, if a woman sees you in trouble, what is HER first reaction?
Men (as a group) are more concerned about a woman's welfare (as a group) than their own.
Should you take the opinion of such a morally flawed creature so seriously? Could the shame she is trying to make you feel simply be part of her strategy to confuse and manipulate you, against your best wishes?
Once think about it, and realize its truth, the opinion of a woman will no longer have any power over you.
Bottom line, the only time you should worry about keeping a woman happy is when her behavior has earned your respect.
I'll write more on this later...
