How/When to Kiss Close?

[omkara]

Hi, so like, I have been having very inconsistent results with first kisses lately and I was wondering if I could get some advice to raise my percentages.

My current thinking is that the first kiss should take place on the first date. Personally I would have no problem with just some kino and maybe a kiss goodnight if the mood was right. But I get the sense that maybe you'd appear wimpy or get friendzoned if you didn't kiss on the first date.

I am really not sure what is the best way to initiate kissing either. The last date I was on I just went for it after some kinoing, and I got denied. It was a little forced. (Plus there were some people on the couch like 15 feet away across from us.) The way I did it was to start kinoing (touching her hair, then her arm, then rubbing her back), and then kissed her on the cheek and then on the lips a little later. This way it was not out of nowhere. But I'm not sure about the kissing on the cheek thing because I think at that moment I may be getting friendzoned. Has anyone else done this? I had one date where i kissed a girl on the cheek at the end, and it was like the window was closed after that. And on this last occasion, she said, "oh that was very nice and friendly." after it.

So these are my main two questions: Should you always try to kiss on the first date, and how to do it? Let's say that you are meeting someone that you barely know, that you chatted up for 5 minutes or whatever.

thx

 

[TheAsianLoverReturns]

Ideally you should go for sex in the first date.

 

[Lexington]

Hi, so like, I have been having very inconsistent results with first kisses lately and I was wondering if I could get some advice to raise my percentages.

My current thinking is that the first kiss should take place on the first date. Personally I would have no problem with just some kino and maybe a kiss goodnight if the mood was right. But I get the sense that maybe you'd appear wimpy or get friendzoned if you didn't kiss on the first date.

I am really not sure what is the best way to initiate kissing either. The last date I was on I just went for it after some kinoing, and I got denied. It was a little forced. (Plus there were some people on the couch like 15 feet away across from us.) The way I did it was to start kinoing (touching her hair, then her arm, then rubbing her back), and then kissed her on the cheek and then on the lips a little later. This way it was not out of nowhere. But I'm not sure about the kissing on the cheek thing because I think at that moment I may be getting friendzoned. Has anyone else done this? I had one date where i kissed a girl on the cheek at the end, and it was like the window was closed after that. And on this last occasion, she said, "oh that was very nice and friendly." after it.

So these are my main two questions: Should you always try to kiss on the first date, and how to do it? Let's say that you are meeting someone that you barely know, that you chatted up for 5 minutes or whatever.

thx

A lot of kino can be interpreted as friendly and not sexual in nature. You have to be unambiguous with your intent. If you put your arm around her, make sure you hold her in a way that lets her know you mean business. The kiss on the cheek was quite weak. It's a pretty common greeting for completely platonic friends to kiss on the cheek.

It's all about vibes my friend. Don't think too much. If you focus on the vibe, the kino and even the kiss will pretty much happen automatically. The way you've described things, it seems like you are robotically following steps.

Next time try this: allow the desire you feel for her to come to the forefront of your mind. Don't try to suppress it. Really relish it. Don't talk about it. This will manifest itself in your body language, your eyes (giver her lots of EC), the tone of your voice etc. Do this, and the rest will take care of itself.

And as for when to kiss? There is no hard and fast rule. You have to feel out the vibe. Some girls feel "slvtty" if they kiss on the first date. This is especially if they really like you and desire an LTR with you. I usually go for it on the first date, but sometimes I've had to wait til the second or even third date.

 

[samspade]

Agree w/Lexington. Once you've got her primed you'll just know when it's the right time. Cheek kissing is a little too safe in my opinion. Don't do that - just wait for the right moment and move in to the mouth.

Good to see a thread about action around here.

 

[omkara]

A lot of kino can be interpreted as friendly and not sexual in nature. You have to be unambiguous with your intent. If you put your arm around her, make sure you hold her in a way that lets her know you mean business. The kiss on the cheek was quite weak. It's a pretty common greeting for completely platonic friends to kiss on the cheek.

It's all about vibes my friend. Don't think too much. If you focus on the vibe, the kino and even the kiss will pretty much happen automatically. The way you've described things, it seems like you are robotically following steps.

Next time try this: allow the desire you feel for her to come to the forefront of your mind. Don't try to suppress it. Really relish it. Don't talk about it. This will manifest itself in your body language, your eyes (giver her lots of EC), the tone of your voice etc. Do this, and the rest will take care of itself.

And as for when to kiss? There is no hard and fast rule. You have to feel out the vibe. Some girls feel "slvtty" if they kiss on the first date. This is especially if they really like you and desire an LTR with you. I usually go for it on the first date, but sometimes I've had to wait til the second or even third date.

excellent post dude, thanks. Yeah I was being robotic about it, but that's because "being myself" in the past has not always worked. I was trying to force myself to escalate, basically.

I went out with another girl on Thursday and I kiss-closed fine at the end of the night. (Even that term sounds stupid because it makes it sound like a real estate deal. But it does make sense because in a way that is how I tend to approach things.) This girl was really nice and she made things easy for me. I could tell that she would not say no by the end of the night. The only down side is that it was a little anticlimactic that we were both so accommodating to each other. A little sexual tension would be good to amp things up. I'm glad I have a girl I can hang with now and go see music with...

thx peace