I have a big problem of not being able to tell if a girl is actually interested in me or just being friendly. Some seem to be very playful and will initiate kino on me and smile everytime they see me but I feel like this is just something friendly and nothing more. What's the best way to tell if she's actually interested or not?
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How to tell if she's really interested or not?
- Thread starter Scorrere
- Start date
Well up until recently I had only had moderate success with women. I started having more success when I started to "not give a ****" Basically if a girl showed a little interest in me, I pursued it full steam ahead until either she started showing signs of dis-interest or hooked up with them. To be honest, I had more success than I thought I would, I thought I would get rejected more often than I actually did.
Sometimes the girls that are the most into you, won't show that many signs. Looking back on how I use to act, I can't believe how many oppurtunities I must have missed. Plus it seems like if you get rejected its the worst thing in the world, when in fact you get over it and laugh about it like 10 minutes later after you get a few out of the way.
Sometimes the girls that are the most into you, won't show that many signs. Looking back on how I use to act, I can't believe how many oppurtunities I must have missed. Plus it seems like if you get rejected its the worst thing in the world, when in fact you get over it and laugh about it like 10 minutes later after you get a few out of the way.
Crazy Asian
Master Don Juan
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if you can't tell, then make a move.
after trial and error with a few girls, you will be able to spot out the ones that are interested and ones that are not.
after trial and error with a few girls, you will be able to spot out the ones that are interested and ones that are not.
Following_of_Me
Don Juan
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If a girl shows signs of interest, and you are in doubt about whether she is interested romantically or as a friend, as a general rule, assume interest.
Whether it works out or not isn't the point. The point is that you'll find out without second guessing yourself.
If you assume she's interested and act on that assumption, then one of two things happens.
A. She's interested, and it works out.
B. She's not interested, but you found out without second guessing yourself or risking missing a chance if she had been interested.
Whether it works out or not isn't the point. The point is that you'll find out without second guessing yourself.
If you assume she's interested and act on that assumption, then one of two things happens.
A. She's interested, and it works out.
B. She's not interested, but you found out without second guessing yourself or risking missing a chance if she had been interested.
Your_Royal_Flyness
Don Juan
Signs of InterestScorrere said:
-Intense eye contact (watch her pupils to see if they dilate)
-Multiple compliments
-Initiating phone calls, randomly
-Finds excuses to touch you/randomly touching you
-Finds excuses to be around you
-She asks you if you are single or about your love life
-She asks what you are doing this weekend (may be a queue for you to hurry up and invite her out somewhere)
-She preens herself when she's around you (straightens her posture, fixes her hair, adjusts her bra, etc etc.)
Signs of being Friendly
-Politely smiling
-Returning phone calls (note I didn't say 'initiating')
-She asks you about your day
In a nutshell, think of it like this. When a woman is INTERESTED she INITIATES things. If she's just being friendly/polite, she will only RECIPROCATE.
*Keep in mind, many girls ENJOY teasing men and LOVE to be chased. Be careful not to feed into her ego and recognize a chick who just wants attention. These are normally the super hot chicks that guys like me bang on a regular basis. Lol. (Prime example: girls dancing extra sexy near you at a party and then moving away as soon as you move toward her. They love seeing guys fawn over her and it boosts their egos).
Dannyrt34
Master Don Juan
LMAO! This guy is on today! I actually laughed when I read your interest vs. friendly part, because I'm talking to 2 girls, one is showing every single sign of interest you have listed, while the other is showing every single sign of friendliness you have listed.Your_Royal_Flyness said:
So that kind of backs up your advice, guess I know which one to go for, lol.
Your_Royal_Flyness
Don Juan
:rockon:Dannyrt34 said:
MisterMcGee
Master Don Juan
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Let's try your strength on this one. You don't pay much notice to a girl cause you talk to others, are busy, etc. The girl who is a part of your social circle at say work, school, or whatnot. She:
Initiates in person
Touches you to ask a question (ie. hand on back when you're not facing her)
Shows interest in your life
Teases/Ball-busts
However, you also get mixed signals.
See, most in this situation would think they are getting 'mixed signals' simply because she isn't throwing IOIs at you constantly, so the moment she doesn't show you IOIs you think "aw, I guess she wasn't interested."
Sometimes she may show you signs of disinterest, which can be caused by many things. Maybe your buying temperature dropped (if she knows you're into her and you haven't made a move, for example), maybe some drama came up regarding you two (a friend randomly asks if she likes you, she feels awkward and gets kinda cold around you. this happened to me once). Maybe she was just in a bad mood.
Of course, maybe she's not into you. Or may the vibe between you two in the atmosphere you know each other in doesn't allow for comfortable sexual escalation (workplace).
Remember, I'm talking about girls in your social circle that you already know a bit through being around her without the both of you actually making plans to see each other. This would be a girl you work with, go to school with, or if you have the same friends. Another way to look at the type of 'interest' these girls may have in you is what's known as 'crushing'. Yes, girls crush from the acquaintance zone.
No matter how outgoing a girl may be, she may not be overt about her interest. You could say that her not initiating conversation with you over the phone is a sign that she isn't interested, but you're still the man and if you want to find out the truth of whether or not she's into you, then you gotta escalate.
Initiates in person
Touches you to ask a question (ie. hand on back when you're not facing her)
Shows interest in your life
Teases/Ball-busts
However, you also get mixed signals.
See, most in this situation would think they are getting 'mixed signals' simply because she isn't throwing IOIs at you constantly, so the moment she doesn't show you IOIs you think "aw, I guess she wasn't interested."
Sometimes she may show you signs of disinterest, which can be caused by many things. Maybe your buying temperature dropped (if she knows you're into her and you haven't made a move, for example), maybe some drama came up regarding you two (a friend randomly asks if she likes you, she feels awkward and gets kinda cold around you. this happened to me once). Maybe she was just in a bad mood.
Of course, maybe she's not into you. Or may the vibe between you two in the atmosphere you know each other in doesn't allow for comfortable sexual escalation (workplace).
Remember, I'm talking about girls in your social circle that you already know a bit through being around her without the both of you actually making plans to see each other. This would be a girl you work with, go to school with, or if you have the same friends. Another way to look at the type of 'interest' these girls may have in you is what's known as 'crushing'. Yes, girls crush from the acquaintance zone.
No matter how outgoing a girl may be, she may not be overt about her interest. You could say that her not initiating conversation with you over the phone is a sign that she isn't interested, but you're still the man and if you want to find out the truth of whether or not she's into you, then you gotta escalate.
WC2
Master Don Juan
Ignore all this IOI and sign bullsh!t.
Looking for signs of interest is what boys do in high school.
Accumulating interest is what men do.
Men like us don't LOOK for girls who are interested in us. Why should we? You think I want to approach a girl just because she is interested in me? This is a game for amateurs and desperate men. I'll approach a girl because I'm interested in her, I don't care what she thinks.
Men who attract women go after women they find attractive whether they've seen signs or not. They don't look for signs.
Sure, they damn well know the signs, because after all they get them all the time. But their mindset is NOT to go after only the women who are giving them IOIs.
Too many men WAIT for signs and in turn are too REACTIVE to women. Be PROACTIVE and MAKE women give you signs. If you talk a woman up the right way, she'll no doubt start giving off signs. If you are at a socially high level among your peers, she'll no doubt look at you as a stud.
As DJs it's important we aspire to be men who can pick out any woman we'd like. DJs don't go nitpicking for women just because they have shown interest. We don't need to stoop down to that level.
Looking for signs of interest is what boys do in high school.
Accumulating interest is what men do.
Men like us don't LOOK for girls who are interested in us. Why should we? You think I want to approach a girl just because she is interested in me? This is a game for amateurs and desperate men. I'll approach a girl because I'm interested in her, I don't care what she thinks.
Men who attract women go after women they find attractive whether they've seen signs or not. They don't look for signs.
Sure, they damn well know the signs, because after all they get them all the time. But their mindset is NOT to go after only the women who are giving them IOIs.
Too many men WAIT for signs and in turn are too REACTIVE to women. Be PROACTIVE and MAKE women give you signs. If you talk a woman up the right way, she'll no doubt start giving off signs. If you are at a socially high level among your peers, she'll no doubt look at you as a stud.
As DJs it's important we aspire to be men who can pick out any woman we'd like. DJs don't go nitpicking for women just because they have shown interest. We don't need to stoop down to that level.
Tha Realnezz
Master Don Juan
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If the effort is there.shes asking you alot of questions,personal things,number,myspace,dates,etc.if theres physical contact imo is the only way to know..she's rubbing your hands and fingers,playing with the back of your neck,asking for hugs and pecks..etc..
If i cant tell i rub em on the back for or ramp up the sexual energy to see whats good...
I'd rather not even mess with a chic i have to put myself out there that much,mang..
If i cant tell i rub em on the back for or ramp up the sexual energy to see whats good...
I'd rather not even mess with a chic i have to put myself out there that much,mang..