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How to start a Social circle from nothing!

cyp6

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Lonely? Depressed? Bored?

Humans being social creatures we “NEED” other human contact to be stay physiologically healthy. Being isolated has many negative impacts on a person’s life, even in the animal kingdom a social animal needs its own kind to socialize with in order to live a happy and healthy life. This is why it is difficult to breed some animals in captivity. A person can actually physically feel pain from prolong isolation.

But the good news is you don’t have be alone. Even if you don’t have any friends right now, this guide will help you build your social circle from scratch. Before we start there are couple of things that we need to commit to. You have to want some people in your life, you have to be willing take some risks and put your self out there, your going have to be very flexible with your schedule. And most importantly you have to commit to having fun and not letting small things get you out of state of being a cool guy who is awesome to be around. Now that we took care of that, lets go meet some new friends. Ill tell you guys the exact steps that need to do get people become your friends, (for those of us that may need a little instruction on how to do it) in different situations.

The very best place to meet new people are at college, in fact this is were most people find there life long friends and spouses. The best places to meet new people in college;
Freshmen orientation
In classes
Library or study center
Clubs
Sporting events or school events
Dorm
Non academic classes (Boxing, yoga, weights)

Obviously you can meet people anywhere but these places are most common places.

Freshmen orientation- In most universities freshmen orientation takes place the day before classes are scheduled to start, at this point hardly any one knows any one else. So every one is basically on an even playing field, as fare as social groups are concerned, this is by far the easiest place to make new friends because no one will have any. Just start talking to the people next to you, make guy friends first, believe me if you build your social circle strong enough girls will be easy to meet after. Talk to the guy sitting next to you for a while introduce your self, and try to find some thing common that you both share. “oh no way bro, I played football in H.S too“, share a story or two, bla bla bla. After you a have rapport going with your new friend get the guy on the other side of you involved too, introduce your new friends to each other if they haven’t done it already. And there you go you just started building your circle.

Library/study center- Take you home work, to the study center, and sit at a table with some one on the other side or next to you. (go when its most busy, with the most people) This is all you have to do to get a conversation going, look at the book that person next to you is working on and repeat the title back to him in a impressed sort of voice. “oh man, physiology 101” smile make eye contact, most likely he will say some thing about the class, and you just pick it up from there. Go get some thing to eat after you guys are done studying. (if its some thing small offer to pay for it, do you cheap basterd)

You can probably already see a the formula from the above example, Ill break it down some more for those of you who likes step by step directions.

1. Go where people of your own age and interests will gather.
2. Break the ice, assume rapport
3. Establish commonalities
4. Go get some thing to eat, drink, or what ever.
5. Call back in a day or so(you did a number right), don’t wait for them to call you first, people are lazy.
6. If some one invites you to some thing, just fvcking go, so you don’t want to go to a lame ass party, suck it up until you have a group of friends that your style.

At work do the steps and be cool, friendly guy. You can do this just about every where but school and work has the highest demographic of people in your age range. Cheers J
 

pressure0354

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this is true


the key is just to exposing yourself to as many people as you can, especially if its classes or places of your interest.

i myself am about to graduate college and will have to start making new social circles so i plan on taking a class and tryin to follow my strategy.
 

Charm

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College is of course a great place and a lot of people live in the dorms for that very reason. Youre surrounded by young and ambitious people who are looking to get a degree and specialize in some area.
 

coolkid800

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i kinda wish i read this one sooner, I just went to my orientation the past two days and I did talk to a few new cats, but mainly just stayed hanging with a couple of dudes from my school and dormed with them for the night and I'll admit it kinda sucked becuz I didnt really meet that much new people. like I felt like if I wanted to meet more people or something I was the one who always had to break the ice, too which was also one of the contributing factors why I just stayed hanging w/ people from my school...
 

mastersylar

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This post is good if you are in college but what about if you are out of college. Where do you find friends then. I mean I just graduated and over the last year a lot of my good friends have moved away. The friends that I have left are lame, never want to hang out.
 

Franky1927

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I know that problem. Some of my friends will move away and i have to stay here for one more year.
I think you cant just talk to guys who you want to have as your friends like you talk to girls.
I will try to call some old friends and go out with them. They will introduce me to some guys they know and if i like them, there might be something like a friendship.

I noticed that it is more important to have one or two real good friends, than a couple of friends that never call you.
 

mastersylar

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The problem is most of my "friends" never call me. The ones that I call never want to hang out.
 

cyp6

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mastersylar said:
This post is good if you are in college but what about if you are out of college. Where do you find friends then. I mean I just graduated and over the last year a lot of my good friends have moved away. The friends that I have left are lame, never want to hang out.
Join a your local 24 hour fitness... do the group X meetings... play basketball you will start to see people... and remember to be proactive... every one is looking new contacts they just dont know it yet.. Relate to the people you meet, try to geunly become interested in them...

If your in sales its soo easy to meet people.... just ask what people do and relate with them.. one of my faveorite lines are "oh man i always wanted to try that(entusiasm)" and if this person has any social skills they will either invite you to try it or tell you were you can go try it....
 

Potbelly

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actually I hang out alone most of the time unless I am at work and with my coworkers. I seem to be the guy who can turn "on" and "off" the sociail factor. Most of the time it's off and I do my own thing. I like it that way, and I sure as hell don't feel any "pain." I used to feel lonely until I realized all my "friends" were like crabs in a barrel trying to hold me back. You guys don't know how fvcking hard it is to find a good friend these days. If I could clone myself, I'd be my best friend because I'm loyal to people I care about. I can't say that about anyone else except my parents/relatives.
 

The Inside Man

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Cool thread. Important to remember that some people have different degrees of introversion and extroversion. I also remember reading somewhere that extroverts also need a lot of time for themselves, although there are some people that prefer to be around others all the time but that could be classed more as dependent I think.

I am a pretty outgoing extroverted guy but I really do like my time by myself with just me and my dog, or going for an hour bike ride.

I have experienced trying to start new social circles in my new city in south florida. I have met a lot of people, and a lot of cool people in my class. But the guys I was hanging around with that live at my apt. complex turned out to be some burnout pillheads who never have money to go out cuz they are on pills all the time. I figured out during the last couple weeks that I would rather hang out by myself than with those people, even though they were cool some of the time.

If you have moved to a new area it takes some time too, but then once you start meeting people they introduce you to other people and so on. When I first got to college I didn't know that many people for the 1st quarter but then met everyone on my floor in the dorm and we all started hanging out. By the time I left that school 4 years later I could go into any of the bars on a weekend night and run into people I knew, it was really fun.

It is really hard to make good friends these days...I am wary of many of the new people I meet down here. While I have met some cool people, a lot of people have self serving agendas and don't want to be loyal or a true friend. Thats why I feel lucky to have my best friends, but they are 1000 miles away.

RIght now I'm just concentrating on getting my stuff done, staying in shape, quitting smoking pot lol, and meeting some more girls down here.
 

Master Bates

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What a worthless thread, honestly. People in college typically aren't the ones who have trouble developing a social circle out of nothing. Like it's that hard to tell someone how to make friends in college. Hell all you have to do is not be a social retard and before you know it you'll have friends.
 

Chaotixxx

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Potbelly said:
actually I hang out alone most of the time unless I am at work and with my coworkers. I seem to be the guy who can turn "on" and "off" the sociail factor. Most of the time it's off and I do my own thing. I like it that way, and I sure as hell don't feel any "pain." I used to feel lonely until I realized all my "friends" were like crabs in a barrel trying to hold me back. You guys don't know how fvcking hard it is to find a good friend these days. If I could clone myself, I'd be my best friend because I'm loyal to people I care about. I can't say that about anyone else except my parents/relatives.
Exactly, its why people should value their families more. The few people (most of the time) that actually care about you.
 

T-Roy

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This is pretty good. I think it should be stickied. Unless it already is then I've just made an ass of myself. XD
 
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