how to recover from a rejected makeout?

[stubbornlights]

Cliffs notes:
-Someone tells me HB8 is into me. I let slip that yes, I find her amusing as well. This is relayed to HB. She gets a little awkward in that 'knowing' kind of way, as though it's now her move.
-Hang out with her and other friends for seven hours. I get wasted, she not so much, as she was driving. Walk her to her car. Talk, I bust her balls. She opens her car door, I slam it shut, then grab her by her shoulders, throw her against her car, and go for the makeout. She pulls away, but doesn't push me off, so I hug her close and try to talk away her hesitations. I kiss her four times, she doesn't kiss back, and she's laughing the whole time, surprised. Dialogue:
"What are you doing? I'm sober, and you're drunk."
"So you should get drunk with me sometime." Kiss her again. She laughs.
Playfully, "Don't make me beat you up."
"Fine." I start walking down the street. She yells after,
"I'll talk to you tomorrow!"
"I'm not working tomorrow."
"Fine, I won't then."

I get a voicemail the next night, her inviting me down to the bar to drink. I didn't get it, so I didn't go. Night after, she invites me to watch a show in a different city. We drive there with two of her best female friends. No hangouts; I found other friends of mine at the show and hang with them. Then, she drives the four of us back to our town, we hang out at a party. I pass out, thanks to too much booze. Nothing happened there, except I sat on her lap for a while and played cards, and she stole food out of my hand, and I forced her to open her mouth and give it back, and I ate it. Ughh so wasted.

Strategies to close now? She hasn't mentioned the incident since it happened, yet she's invited me out, twice. Should I joke about the failed makeout? Say, "Don't worry, the next time, I'll be sober. And you won't get a warning." Should I caveman her when I see her next, SOBER, and just go for the kiss again? Or do I have to build up attraction again?

 

[Jay Jay]

Hmmm

Don't over think it. She's into you. No, don't talk about the failed make out. You don't have to build up attraction; that exists.

What you gotta do is warm her up and put her in the mood and create situation where she wants to get funky.

I personally wouldn't caveman straight away. I'd give her a big prolonged hug. Then I'd flirt a lot, keno, sexual innuendo. Then when things are at a high point then caveman.

JJ

p.s. Now I thoroughly approve of getting on it and having a good time but try to be focused and not get so wasted next time... Remember what Dave Chappelle says. "I still love to get high. But not as much as I love p*ssy!"

 

[Dannyrt34]

From what I can tell, she is interested in you. But from the way you tried to initiate the makeout, and the conversation sort of came off as being an ass. By the way she sounds, it seems as if she's more of a good girl.

If that's the case, good girls usually like your kisses to actually mean something, rather than a random drunk act. You might have to work at that, and no don't try the caveman thing. It didn't work the first time.

As in what you should do to try to kiss her next time. From my experience, I never really put effort into finding a moment to kiss or something. It usually just happens naturally. I can't really explain it. I mean I was out with a chick last friday. I only met her the week before. We ended up kissing. It was one of those moments where you don't even think about kissing it just happened and felt natural. Sorry can't be much of a better help, but unless she's a slut, kisses have to feel natural on the girls side

 

[Paintballguy]

It is not a big deal that you got rejected on the kiss. Just act like the kiss incident never happened and continue to game her.

I've had the same thing happen to me before, and I just pressed on. Eventually, I got in her pants down the road.

 

[chinwaggler]

Maybe she rejected you because you were so drunk? Try it when you're a bit less so.

Anyway you could:

- hold your position in front of her look into her eyes, tension will ramp up, might work
- be funny, ask her if she's ever kissed a guy or something
- just talk sexual for a bit

 

[stubbornlights]

recovered.

Bar hopping. All night she'd been telling other people how I'm her favorite person in the world right now, how she's in love with me. I ignore her, I'm with another girl, I push her face away when she approaches me. But I tell her, "I have a surprise for you later."

At the last bar of the night, I walk up to her and say, "It's time for your surprise. But, you have to get one question right first." The music is deafening, we're face to face, the crowd jostles drunkenly. I whisper, "How many people are in the room right now?"
Immediately, she gets it: "Two."
I grab her. Instant makeout. A friend drags her away. I find her later, and makeout again. Another friend drags her away. I go sit in a booth with friends. She comes up, I force her to sit on my lap, and makeout again.

Outside the venue, leaving, she says to someone in my presence; "I love this guy." I reply, "I know, I've known for months." She laughs and calls me an ass. A bunch of my female friends try to find a way for me to bring her somewhere and hook up with her. But an ex of five years ago is the one that winds up driving us. He ****blocks me. He doesn't let her go off to another room in the house with me. So I leave.

I find out later from one of her friends that she wound up making out with him a little. Wtf? The dude's a huge chode. Buying temperature steal? She didn't do anything, and apparently was embarassed to have made out with him a little.

My question: How do I keep the chemistry going? She works with me. How do I escalate from here, and get her solely interested in me?
Her female friends spout feminine nonsense like "She's confused right now, she's been single for quite a while, she likes the freedom. She really likes hanging out with you, but I don't know if she thinks about anything happening."

I have learned never to trust these kinds of evaluations at face value. You have to read them the same way you'd read a girl in set. Here's my logic: The confusion, the hesitancy, is due to a lack of masculine polarity on my behalf. How should I act around her at work to push things to the next level? So far, I've been nonchalant and non-outcome dependant. I acted as though the makeout meant nothing, and haven't really mentioned it.

When we were standing together with our boss, she blurted out, "Stubbornlights and I made out last night."
I replied, "Yeah, I can't remember too much of it."
The boss laughs, "Haha, that's sad, I guess she didn't make much of an impression."

So what kind of things should I be doing to pull her? How do I build off the momentum of a makeout to get the f-close? Should I be more sexual now? How do you guys progress from post-makeout to glory times?

 

[stubbornlights]

LR: Glory Times

Wow. Ok, so I was spending the evening hanging out with the girl and her friends, socializing, drinking, wandering around. I wasn't paying her much attention, and she did the same; no obvious signs of interest, no dinnerbowl eyes. Slowly but surely, all the members of our party took off, until it was just us. Not planned, not expected; we were just the last ones to give up on the night.

Then, almost out of nowhere, the interest surfaces. The change in voice tonality, eye contact, conversation. I tease her, push her around, call her names, and then BOOM we're in bed together, lying there, making out and talking. Makeouts get progressively hotter, interspersed with convo. She tests me, warns me:
"Just so you know, I'm kindof flaky with relationships."
"Awesome. So much better than being needy. I like people who can enjoy the moment without getting clingy."
And it's over. She's mine.

She tells me that the evening was amazing, the best night she's had in a long time, that she's been obsessing over me and hasn't been able to get me out of her head for months. Nice.

But, we share the same social circle. She seems hesitant to display her attraction for me in front of them. We were at a party again last night together, though we crashed at the host's house, and shared a bed with someone else, and behaved as though we were friends. Lying in bed, she subtly cracked a few inside jokes; phrases, sentiments we were talking about during nakedtimes.

MY QUESTION:
How do you go from the hookup to a relationship? Change in disposition, mentality? Do the behaviours change when you're interacting with her, or do you maintain your present course until she decides that she wants to call your ongoing interactions a relationship?

I saw her again today, and even though I was completely haggard and tired, she couldn't keep her eyes off of me. Dinnerbowl eyes of gleaming beauty. I like this one. So much more interesting than the rubbish one night stands I've been throwing about lately. Any stories from you guys on how you make the transition, or whatever wisdom you have, would be amazing.