How To Overcome Porn Addiction?

[Tempest]

Over the last 2 years I would say that I am addicted to porn.

I've always told myself "it's no big deal, everyone does it" and that I could stop doing it anytime I want, but I have now faced the reality that it has been a major detriment to my life and it's been difficult for me to go more than a day or two without it.

Porn and masturbation has been totally deflating my energy, self-esteem, given me no desire to go out and get the real thing and have sex with girls, and has ended up wasting me several hours of wasted time throughout the week.

I'm looking for some help with this - can anyone provide some advice on how to overcome this? Thanks!

 

[EA Gold]

I'll quote my post from a mb thread

I believe the #1 reason why people mb is because of one thing.

Frustration.

Guys look at there life and see all the hard work they've done, the struggles and suffering they endured for years yet they are still not happy with the end result. There frustrated about the promotion they didn't get, not getting enough attention from girls, being alone at home on a friday night or generally life didn't turn out they way it was supposed to be.

Now if you look outside in the world, there are so many things that can frustrate you. Seeing all these young girls wearing skin tight clothing on tv, magazines, movies and in the general public. You see the news around the world, the stock market, the economy.

Mb, is just one outlet of frustration, many people use drugs, drink alcohol and smoke to numb the pain and frustration in life. The truth is once the high is gone, and sober again, all your problems and frustrations are still there and you fall into the trap of finding that next high, or next bottle. This trap can waste years from your life, day to day your not caring about anything else but to numb the pain.

The outside in procedure never works and often create more frustration in life. You take so much action with no direction where most of the time you go in circles and end up where you started. Only a change from the inside, the heart your life can change and I do believe that if your honest and sincere you will find the real truth that sets captives free and from the inside create a whole new life, a new person and a brand new start.

These sites also help
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/courses/way-of-purity/
http://porn-free.org

 

[Strelok]

The first thing you have to do is tell yourself sincerly why you are addicted to porn and masturbation (have a read on EA gold post too).

If you do masturbate because of hornyness we're talking about the need to release sexual energy,if you masturbate to release the stress and the frustration from everyday life it's completely different.

I strongly think that most of the people masturbate because of frustration and often looking for pleasure.
An handjob TEMPORARY take away your stress and in a negative day gives you a single moment of pleasure however is like eating a piace of cake,the pleasure is temporary and the damage comes in the long run.

Long story short,if you're 24/7 horny well try your best to get a girl even if this case is rare,if you're stressed and looking for some satisfaction join the gym,it will make your self esteem grow,keep you in shape and help you to get pleasure in other part of your life wheter is girls or not.

Most importat thing DONT watch at porn when you're bored,it's like an alchoolic having a walk at the bar just to kill some time.

 

[backbreaker]

every once in a while you get some smartass who tries to "talk down" to me when they find out about my previous drug addiction. I could care less. only to jack off 5-8 times a day lol.

at least i'm honest about my issues and have fixed them. porn addiction is extremely serious ****

 

[runner83]

Agree that you have to look into the root causes of why you are doing it.

But having said that, a lot of it may come down to habit, and you may need something to just "get you off" (hehe) to starting a habit of not looking at it.

Here's a thread I wrote on this a while back:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=174357

This was when I had my virus software set up to block it, with a random password set.

Since then, after a software update, I can't use that.

Now, I have Firefox on my computer and use "Foxfilter" to block anything. I have a random password set and keep the password at work (in case I ever need it, but won't have access to it when I might be tempted).

Too often, like with smoking, people might say it all comes down to willpower. But modifying your environment to promote good habits is also very important.

Since I have it blocked on my computer a few years back, I might once in a while think of it, but then remember I can't get to it anyway, move on and live my life.

 

[n00bPimp]

Agree that you have to look into the root causes of why you are doing it.

But having said that, a lot of it may come down to habit, and you may need something to just "get you off" (hehe) to starting a habit of not looking at it.

Here's a thread I wrote on this a while back:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=174357

This was when I had my virus software set up to block it, with a random password set.

Since then, after a software update, I can't use that.

Now, I have Firefox on my computer and use "Foxfilter" to block anything. I have a random password set and keep the password at work (in case I ever need it, but won't have access to it when I might be tempted).

Too often, like with smoking, people might say it all comes down to willpower. But modifying your environment to promote good habits is also very important.

Since I have it blocked on my computer a few years back, I might once in a while think of it, but then remember I can't get to it anyway, move on and live my life.

I suggest the same thing. I know a recovering porn addict, he had to get rid of his computer, now he uses his phone for his internet needs. For a while I thought I was getting addicted to porn, so I promised myself to go 30 days without porn to test if I had a handle over the habit. I managed to do it and it felt great. Kicking bad habits can be great for your confidence, because it makes you feel in control, rather than having the habit be in control.

 

[user43770]

Idle hands are the devil's playground. I don't believe in the devil, but that saying still rings true. Try to keep yourself busy. You need to find ways to spend your time more constructively. Good luck.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Be a man and take control of yourself.

You don't need "professional help" or mystical inspiration; all you need is self-esteem.

Because self-esteem can only truly manifest as self-reliance.

Believe in your ability to use your own free will to mold yourself to whatever end you desire, regardless of what you endure along the way.

Just do it.

 

[Colossus]

I'll give you my experience---

I watched porn on a fairly regular basis for a number of years; most of my twenties really. I went through the same things as you---the rationalizations that "every guy does it" and it's totally "normal", the guilt/apathy cycle, and the energy/motivation drain. It IS a compulsive habit, make no mistake about it, and it is damaging to relationships. If you have to visualize some random ridiculous porn scene in order to get off whenever you have sex with a woman---you have a problem. And dont think that having a gf is the cure either. I watched porn through multiple relationships. All it does is perpetuate the compulsion and biochemical addiction of seeing random girls get fvcked, when you should be focused on WHO YOU ARE WITH. This isnt a morality thing---it's just how a healthy man should be when he's with a woman. Trust me when I say this, it is better that way.

Here's the real truth: You dont need professional help---they can offer some helpful tips but REAL freedom is going to come from realizing that YOU have the power to step away from it, and grow beyond it. You have to do it to believe it. Abstain for a week. On your OWN willpower, not a porn-blocker or random password. All that does is reinforce the belief that YOU cannot control it---you need some third party entity to do so. You CAN. Abstain for a week. When you hit a week, make it two weeks. You will see how easy it is once you gain confidence in yourself. Dont make bargains like "once a month" or "only when necessary"...because that is just opening the door to failure. You dont need it, and your mind will be more free without it. Think about the hundreds and thousands of years men lived without kinky porn at their fingertips---this is a relatively recent ailment for men. When you abstain for long enough you will see how ridiculous it is---the compulsion to see random strangers have sex then wank yourself into a fix because you "need" it.

Take my experience---I stopped watching porn completely in January, then had a brief relapse a week ago, more out of curiosity than anything else---and I realized immediately what a waste of my time on earth it is. Keep the door closed, dont even look through the peep-hole to see what might be behind it. Will you be tempted at times?? Of course, especially when you are alone or frustrated sexually; but once you realize you DO have power over it, it really changes your perspective and you will be much more apt to take action with women and other endeavors.

 

[Kerpal]

The reason I use porn is that good looking women aren't attracted to me. Porn stars are so much better looking than the women I can get that I'd rather use porn than have sex. If I could attract better looking women I would have no need for porn, but I have to release that sexual tension somehow. Even if porn didn't exist I would rather just masturbate than have sex with a woman I'm not attracted to.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Yeah, that's the catch-the porno women are fvcking hot!

Just wean yourself off it lol

 

[EA Gold]

The reason I use porn is that good looking women aren't attracted to me.

So you basically gave up and let life defeat you, then you came up with reasons why its Ok to be defeated. I knew a guy once who did the same and you know what happened to him, he broke his family apart because he was drunk all the time, he left his family and had affairs with mistresses and years later he died in a house fire as a drunk old man.

You know who that guy was, he was my uncle. Not only is this a sad ending but his mistakes did not die with him, his kids today are having the same problems of alcohol and their wives having affairs.

The good thing is right now you have the resources and the time to change yourself and mind so your story doesn't have to end like this.

 

[Kerpal]

Yeah, that's the catch-the porno women are fvcking hot!

Just wean yourself off it lol

Well that's the problem, how do I wean myself off it when I have such a high sex drive? I have to have sex or masturbate or I won't get anything done, but my efforts to **** decent looking girls have failed thus far, and at this point I'd honestly rather just masturbate. Even when I was having sex regularly I still masturbated about twice a day.

I wish there was a way to turn off my sex drive.

So you basically gave up and let life defeat you, then you came up with reasons why its Ok to be defeated. I knew a guy once who did the same and you know what happened to him, he broke his family apart because he was drunk all the time, he left his family and had affairs with mistresses and years later he died in a house fire as a drunk old man.

You know who that guy was, he was my uncle. Not only is this a sad ending but his mistakes did not die with him, his kids today are having the same problems of alcohol and their wives having affairs.

The good thing is right now you have the resources and the time to change yourself and mind so your story doesn't have to end like this.

I haven't given up at all. But for some reason, other than a few drunk hookups at clubs/parties that went nowhere, I only get attention from girls who I'd rather masturbate to porn than have sex with. I even tried online dating, I've gotten a ton of messages from fat chicks but none from good looking girls, and they never respond to me.

 

[user43770]

So you basically gave up and let life defeat you, then you came up with reasons why its Ok to be defeated. I knew a guy once who did the same and you know what happened to him, he broke his family apart because he was drunk all the time, he left his family and had affairs with mistresses and years later he died in a house fire as a drunk old man.

No offense, but a long life littered with debauchery doesn't sound that bad to me.

 

[f283000]

From a metaphysical aspect you jacking off and watching porn is giving your energy to that which you see on your screen. There's an occult science to almost everything and most guys just don't know what porn is really about.

When you ejaculate you are your losing your life force while a woman gains life force when she orgasm. So why in the world would you lose your life force to your f*** hand when you could be cummin inside a woman?

A man shouldn't be losing his life force on a daily basis. From what I remember it should be done in periods of 3 days as a health precaution.

 

[editdivide]

Earlier on I believe porn was a great tool to learn about sex.

I benefited from it greatly, especially the more amateur porn because that was about real people having sex.

That learning plateaued when I replaced my sense of lack with women and frustration for porn. This went on for years without me consciously realizing that my expressing lack through porn was the very reason I was hindering myself and not getting the success I should have got with women. Around attractive women I was constantly nervous and feeling like I had to do something to impress them. It made no sense.

It wasn't until I turned 24 after a pretty serious heartbreak that I realized what it was. Every thing I was doing was giving the power to women. Women didn't do anything to me, I had done it all to myself. If I had done it to myself then where was the root cause? The root cause was all the activities that I abounded myself in that continued to give women the power. This was where I understood the importance of consciously re-examining my life and pulling out any of the activities that hindered my success with women, but more so kept me in this constant frustration and suffering by giving up my power to them.

I realized that the addiction to porn was a great one. I didn't know I had an addiction until the sex just stopped with the failure of the relationship. I began to pursue relentlessly just to get sex and did whatever I could to get the relief I needed, all to find myself suffering even more and feeling some of the worse pains of my life. Every man I feel must go through this in some way to be truly liberated. That was the moment I realized I had to take a radical path to free myself and remove all those avenues where I was giving up the power to women, pornography being one of them.

There are many areas where I was giving up the power to women. Everytime a good looking woman turned around and I stared at her ass thinking of what I would do to it, I was giving up the power to women. Psychically, I no longer saw my relationships with women as natural. It was about getting something and that weakened my position period. It is the way of life, when we want something so badly it will always weaken our position, unless that wanting is for freedom.

There were some pretty grueling nights where I thought about images of my ex and I having sex and our last moment encounters. It kept me in that perpetual cycle and it hurt me badly. But, everytime I overcame that urge to mb, not giving up my power to someone I no longer saw as wonderful but hurtful, I became freer. My relationships and general well-being became better and I also made sense of my relationships with women. I no longer wanted to sleep with every woman or have all women want me. I just wanted the women that I wanted to want me. It was a radical shift in understanding and realization. Read Anti-dump's and Pook's idea about the love machine. It's simple but really radical.

Since then I am having tons of great success. I don't spend my time around females just because they are females. I spend time around anyone with character and willingness to be open, have fun and embrace their imaginations. I hate the party culture and the whole encouragement for sexual liberation that the media has perpetrated because that isn't sexual liberation. If anything they have put us into a mental prison feeling as if our life should be crazier than it is and that we should want these women. Really, removing the porn addiction along with masturbation will be one of the most important things you'll do in your life. You'll see that the vital energy that you don't do giving up your psychic energy will move you on the focused direction of your purpose that will radically change your life in all the positive ways. You don't have to listen to this and go on with your life but forever be mediocre.

 

[L B]

Moderation people. Also, you better unhook yourself now because once 3D porn is perfected, giving up is a lost cause.

 

[EA Gold]

Moderation people. Also, you better unhook yourself now because once 3D porn is perfected, giving up is a lost cause.

lol, you should take off the glasses and compare real life tv to 3D tv..

 

[L B]

lol, you should take off the glasses and compare real life tv to 3D tv..

hehe...I'm greedy and can't get enough, so I choose all of the above.

 

[backbreaker]

becuase of this thread i have wenty on a jack off ban. i don't do it often, i have the real thing next to me but may rub one out when the fiancee is out just out of habit. must say I feel pretty good about it.

biggest difference, is i wake up ALOT easier.