How to maintain a relationship?

[irocknike23]

Every time I get into one, I am always the one who gets hurt. I never done the hurting or dumping. I broke it off with girls in the past but that was after 2-3 dates, nothing serious. Every time I get into a serious relationship I get hurt and hurt and whine and b*tch and feel depressed, sad and mad for 5-7 months after.

It started a trend me in me that I am just flat out developed a phobia of being in a relationship with a girl because I hate going through that hurt stage crap over and over again. Its like the worst thing in the world, I been shot and stabbed before and I would rather re-live those 2 experiences put together on any given day then go through getting hurt by a girl.
And for your information I am not a nice guy, actually a classic A-hole by nature.

This is not a thread where I say all women are evil. This is not a thread saying I cant get girls. This is a thread that says I cant hold down relationships. After my last breakup I finally read the DJ Bible, it helped somewhat but I want to hear it from some of you. I always seem to fail in the relationship stage.

Last girl: was too distant from her, had too much going on during the time we were together, she breaks up. I realize how much I like her after she is gone, bust out all that gay p*ssy stuff and according to the DJ bible I further drive her away.

Girl before that: Long story short, after we went out, I got too attached to her and for some reason turned to a nice guy-that is not the explanation she gave me but after reading DJ bible and looking back, I am sure thats what it was.

And before that: Went out for 7 months, everything seemed to be fine. We hung out and had fun on dates, banged...etc...did all the normal stuff. Still ended up with her telling me she was going through something(when in reality she was not so I never got the real reason why she broke it off)



There is actually 2 more but you guys get the point.
I banged all the girls above, so before you guys ask.
I can never seem to do it right. And now when I get too close to girls I brake it off early because I dont want to go through the above process again.
My main question is once you get into a relationship what do you do to keep it?
How often do you hit the girl up?
How often to see her and hang out?
How to let her know you are into her without becoming a nice guy and telling her all that sweet crap?
And I thought from all the movies I seen and what girls say...they like hearing that sweet crap?

Any help would be nice I just want to overcome this fear of hoping into a relationship

 

[pdx1138]

My last girl situation was like your last.

Truth be told, I realized about a month in I wasn't that into her so I let her break up with me 3 months later.
I had the "grass is greener" thoughts swirling around in my head. She was a keeper and I wished I'd been more into her.

Keeping it going can be a lot of work, that's for sure. All you can really do is learn from each one and plow forward.

 

[irocknike23]

My last girl situation was like your last.

Truth be told, I realized about a month in I wasn't that into her so I let her break up with me 3 months later.
I had the "grass is greener" thoughts swirling around in my head. She was a keeper and I wished I'd been more into her.

Keeping it going can be a lot of work, that's for sure. All you can really do is learn from each one and plow forward.

Ya, I see a lot of threads in here about how to on approaches and what to do after you get her number....to me the hardest part is the few steps after that

 

[Scars]

If a relationship is what you want, then you need to find a balance between not being so AFC but not being so distant either. Find the happy medium.

If you just want sex, then it sounds like you're keeping them around too long. I used to do the same thing. I'd have a ONS with a chick, but then I'd keep in touch because calling her up for some pvssy was always a guaranteed yes after that. Before I know what hits me we're dating and I'm "attached" to her, then I get bored, cheat on her, or fvck up some how, break up, and then I start missing her. It's a vicious cycle. You kinda remind me of myself.

My advice? If the chick is cool, isn't crazy, and there's no red flags, then you can break some of the rules. Be nice, and not so distant, as long as she is returning the favor. There needs to be a balance.

If you're just looking to fvck around, then bang 'um and leave 'um. Keeping them around as a fvck-buddy for too long never seems to work, at least not for me.

-Scars

 

[irocknike23]

If a relationship is what you want, then you need to find a balance between not being so AFC but not being so distant either. Find the happy medium.

If you just want sex, then it sounds like you're keeping them around too long. I used to do the same thing. I'd have a ONS with a chick, but then I'd keep in touch because calling her up for some pvssy was always a guaranteed yes after that. Before I know what hits me we're dating and I'm "attached" to her, then I get bored, cheat on her, or fvck up some how, break up, and then I start missing her. It's a vicious cycle. You kinda remind me of myself.

My advice? If the chick is cool, isn't crazy, and there's no red flags, then you can break some of the rules. Be nice, and not so distant, as long as she is returning the favor. There needs to be a balance.

If you're just looking to fvck around, then bang 'um and leave 'um. Keeping them around as a fvck-buddy for too long never seems to work, at least not for me.

-Scars

Thanks. Ya that is where I think I fall short. I can never find that balance, I always tip too far to one side.

Its just frustrating because EVERYONE I know has been in a LTR one time or another, it seems like it comes naturally to everyone