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How to invite her over to my place for our second date

marmel75

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You've said something more important than you realise. Women generally pigeon hole you into what kind of guy they think you are and how you should act towards them. If you're the kind of guy who usually takes women on 4-5 dates before sleeping with them, women are subconsciously aware of that and you are also aware of it too. So unless she is more forward(which is rare), you're waiting until then. From this thread, it's clear getting a girl over early in your interaction isn't something you do often, it's been saved until it's at the point where it's more socially acceptable.

Now I'll share with you how I do things. I'm at the other end of the scale, I move pretty quickly with women. For example, in the past week I have slept with 4 new girls. I invited 3 of them over for the first "date" and the other one I met at a bar about 5 minutes away and had her back within 2 hours. With these girls, I literally sent them my address and said "come over and lets chill" or words to that effect. I didn't ask anything, I didn't try and get them over on some alternative proviso. I feel that as soon as you start attaching qualifiers or reasons to her to come over you're making it weird and I feel it can come across as a little bit weak but it depends on the girl. I wasn't always like this but it came from one particular experience where I had asked a girl to go on a date with me like 2-3 times and she kept putting it off and flaking. I got annoyed and just told her to come over, she did and we ended up sleeping together. Funnily enough, I had another girl come over this week who I didn't end up sleeping with(not through a lack of not trying) but she insisted it just wasn't in her nature "to do these things, the first time meeting a guy"...but remember she still came over and she still snuggled on the couch etc.

So what I think you need to do in this situation and future situations is to pull the pin. Ask her to come over, if she says no you can still move things backwards a step and then when it does come to inviting her over later again, it's way easier because the topic has already been broached. Also as an older guy, I understand it is slightly different and you may want to get to know her a little better first etc. But when it comes down to asking, make sure you're short, concise and act like it's a completely normal thing to request from her. These principles also come in handy later down the line too.
Be careful with this one bro...back in the day I did this and ended up having the chick steal my wallet when I went to the bathroom to shower...chick went on a shopping spree and drained my accounts before I noticed it gone the next morning. Got the money back but the hassle of going to the bank, filling out reports and cancelling all my cards and getting new licence, credit cards etc was too much of a pain in the ass.

From that point forward I either went to their house or we banged in a motel the first few times til I trusted them enough. Not inviting no random person to my house again ever.
 

skinnyguy

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Every time I order thai food at my place, the girl gets wet and we end up having a lot of fun in my bedroom.

Make sure you have Thai food and have wine.
 

HankHill

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@Mr Wright, I agree but again as you said it all depends on the woman. In my age group unless she's a slutty woman chances are she'll want to make a good impression and not agree to it...easily anyway.

@marmel75, good point! and why I also thought she didn't want me to follow her home on our first date because for all she knew I could be a crazy person. There are a lot of f*cked up people out there both men and women. I mean really sick people.

@skinnyguy, must be the hot spices getting their eyes wet! j/k dude!
 

HankHill

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Good points @Amante. I haven't heard from her since that day she arrived in EU and that was just two texts from her and two from me. My last reply to her text of 'I barely made my second flight...blah blah' was simply "wow, that was a close call then! You must be exhausted from the 20+hrs of traveling, good thing it's night time there now so hopefully you'll get acclimated to the new time easily :)" No reply since then. Perhaps she's worried about the long distance text charges, or really is busy or trying to test my interest etc. who knows? I'm going to wait for her to reach out and I'm fairly confident that sooner or later she will.
 

Atom Smasher

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Target Fixation warning...

Be careful, as she already knows she completely has you in the bag, and that is very dangerous. I haven't seen any push-pull from you. She already knows the entire "movie", because she knows she has you. You're coming off as a bit try-hard in my opinion. I would definitely shorten the length of some of my texts and let her start wondering if she really has you or not. I guarantee you that right now, she knows you're right in her pocket.

A woman who will not work for you is not worth being involved with. Women want and need to work for you. They want some mystery. She should be worried right now that she might lose you. I would slow my roll a bit and pull back. The long texts and explanations should be limited.

Women never date down. Therefore the dynamic should be that you have more value than she, and that you are looking to see if she has enough value to be in your Kingdom. She must understand, by subtle implication, that she is being qualified by you. I perceive that you are almost throwing yourself at her. QUALIFY her. That's the normal, natural dance of attraction. I hope you will ponder my words.
 

HankHill

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Absolutely! I agree...hence why I'm letting her initiate texts. Unless you have any specific examples of what I should be doing I think I'm slowing my roll...as far as I can tell.
 

aforabi

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Take her out near her place, and if it goes well, then, say, "Hey, let's go to my place and do Karaoke together!"
 

Atom Smasher

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I would just suggest some concise texts, as if you're busy. Not rude, just less additional fluff. You should mix it up a bit. My gut feeling is that you like to explain a lot to her.

Some may disagree here, but I'm not a fan of always trying to be witty and humorous. I find that women like a mixture of witty and serious. Too much humor starts to come off as performing for her to like you. The old term "monkey dance" comes to mind. So I would throw a little more masculine neutrality into the mix. She needs a full palate of "colors" in order to be attracted. You seem to write here on SS very well, so show a little bit of deepness to her. Maybe at some point mention how you've been "contemplating" some deep subject. Women love that sh!z. There's nothing wrong with the humor. It should just be tempered a bit with a slight peppering of deeper stuff. Having said that, humor is very important and should constitute the lion's share of your interactions. It's all about variety. Women usually want a man who seems "complex" and mysterious.
 

HankHill

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Thanks. Do you think this was too long after she wrote half a paragraph about her flights debacle?

"wow, that was a close call then! You must be exhausted from the 20+hrs of traveling, good thing it's night time there now so hopefully you'll get acclimated to the new time easily :)"

Deep topics, I save those for the in person convos because over text they can get long? I can't even think of one that I could use to just start the text convo out of the blue...like... 'I just came across this article about how both men and women are not willing to show our vulnerable sides for so long that many great opportunities for making a meaningful connection are lost...so the lesson learned here is...ladies first haha!'
 

Red Legg

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Women never date down.
Sometimes they do,I know a man that is dating a Registered Nurse who has no job and no car but leads her and is dominant.@HankHill what ever you do lead the conversation and every interaction for that matter.I save all my texts with women and I went back and looked at the texts that got me laid.The last text that got me laid I sent was...Her-Red Legg you are going to have to text me more than once a day for me to get to know you Red Legg- I already know your a dirty girl..what's your address? Her- 1224 comefvckme lane apartment 33.Be direct...go big or go home.
 

HankHill

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So a small update. The woman vacationing in Europe sent me a text this morning (after a week and a half!). I recently thought about sending her a text but I resisted. I even felt like she might feel she always has to initiate texts and so may be I should but in the end I held my ground. Her text is very brief "It's beautiful here!!" - I'm thinking I'll respond tomorrow with something brief, basic, unattached, perhaps even showing low priority "glad you're enjoying yourself :)" ? My normal self would be like 'I hear it's nice because my sister's there vacationing too, what are the chances? you guys should meet ;)"

EDIT: two hours after her first text she sent another text "Trying to send you a pic but not working. Typical :lol emoji:"
 
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