How to have a conversation when you don't do ANYTHING

[kontrol freak]

basically, i spend my life either on the computer (playing games probably), going to uni, working (in a repetitive ****kicker job that requires no thinking), or sleeping. i follow the same simple routine, doing the same things, every day, every week, every month. i never do anything that is too complicated or out of the 'ordinary'. i don't really think about anything except myself, and how miserable my life is, therefore i don't have any knowledge about anything apart from a very narrow range of topics (i'm sure you can guess which).

so my problem is, how do i go in a party and start talking with people, let alone random strangers??

 

[Flabbergasped?]

I don't mean to be a troll, but this is a silly thread.

Start doing things. SIgn up for some classes for whatever, dance, music, pilates, w/e. Get to know people at your job. If they're lame, and your job sucks, get a new one and go from there.

It's a little sad when topics like this start showing up.

 

[danielzxc]

I can understand what you mean man. My life had gotten that way over the last few years. Same old routine, day in, day out. Stopped going out, lost contact with the "real world" etc. Now that I've snapped out of it, I can't believe I ever used to live like that. In my case, I had actually had a social life before I closed myself off, so I kind of "knew" what sort of things I had to fix. I also knew what it felt like to be living a different kind of life (even though those memories seemd hazy, cos it had been so long ago).

In your case, man, if you wanna be an interesting guy at parties, and just socially in general, I think you HAVE TO change the kind of life you live. If you just keep living the same kind of life you are right now, I'm sorry, I really can't see any way that you are gonna be able to come across as a socially interesting person -- especially to chicks.

You've gotta be willing to change the way you live, bit by bit, and also be prepared to do it for the long haul. If you quit and go back to what is "normal" for you the moment some social situation feels "difficult", you will never improve.

 

[danielzxc]

I don't mean to be a troll, but this is a silly thread.

Start doing things. SIgn up for some classes for whatever, dance, music, pilates, w/e. Get to know people at your job. If they're lame, and your job sucks, get a new one and go from there.

It's a little sad when topics like this start showing up.

oh come on man, have a heart. Everyone's problems are different. Some guys, their last remaining challenge is how to move from fkking 9s to fkking supermodels. Other guys' problems are something far more modest.

Maybe it's "sad" and maybe these kind of threads are boring to you, or they annoy you, but everyone's at a different level, so what do you expect?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Instead of focusing on being interesting consider being interested.

 

[kontrol freak]

Start doing things. SIgn up for some classes for whatever, dance, music, pilates, w/e. Get to know people at your job. If they're lame, and your job sucks, get a new one and go from there.

i would take your advice but its too late for that. im going to the 1st party in my life tomorrow and im kinda freaked out. i need to know what to do

 

[Monkey]

i would take your advice but its too late for that. im going to the 1st party in my life tomorrow and im kinda freaked out. i need to know what to do

Just have fun. Thats it.

 

[kontrol freak]

Talk about fashion, the crazy news story that just came in, American Idol, celebrities and breakups, make fun of some guy thats nearby you that has a weird shirt on, talk about the craziest places she's had sex, be ****y and funny and make fun of her insecurities, be humurous and make jokes and overexaggerate things sometimes, make conversations that give oppurtunities for you to be ****y and funny. When you run out of conversation topics use regular questions and combine them with flirting. Those are some good ways to go about it.

thanks. however none of those would work for me because i never watch tv or read the news, i dont like to make fun of people, im not interested in sex, i dont know how to be funny or ****y and theres no way id be confident enough to flirt.

please people i need advice tailored to my particular situation

 

[kontrol freak]

Instead of focusing on being interesting consider being interested.

i try to do this but it always ends up in me just firing away a bunch of questions and replying with a 'yes' or 'mm hmm' etc it gets tiresome for me and them very quickly

 

[flows101]

1st start by creating a life you will enjoy as time goes on and fruits of your hard labour start to blossom and I’ll help you from there.

 

[danielzxc]

1st start by creating a life you will enjoy as time goes on and fruits of your hard labour start to blossom and I’ll help you from there.

Too bad, the party's tomorrow night. Lol.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

i try to do this but it always ends up in me just firing away a bunch of questions and replying with a 'yes' or 'mm hmm' etc it gets tiresome for me and them very quickly

Why aren't you sharing your opinion about what they are saying?

 

[Itiswhatitis]

u dont seem interested in anything.might as well stay home.

 

[Obsidian]

i would take your advice but its too late for that. im going to the 1st party in my life tomorrow and im kinda freaked out. i need to know what to do

just don't worry about the party then. Go and have fun; you don't have to be the life of the whole group. Try to talk about what other people are interested in.

In the long run, tho, the advice you've heard to GET A LIFE is wise.

and why the hell aren't you interested in sex?

 

[GamePlan]

so my problem is, how do i go in a party and start talking with people, let alone random strangers??

Try to do what I'm doing right now. An approach journal/the bootcamp by doing it with baby steps. Just go outside every day and start with saying "hello" to random strangers. Then do it to girls. And finally go from the "Hello" or "Hi" to having conversations. It's not easy but progress can be made (check out my thread for that).

If you're gonna say "but I live in a small town and there's hardly any place I could go to and talk to strangers", that doesn't count. I live in a walkable city (with a population of 100,000) and run into somebody I know every day and then have to make up excuses like 'Oh I just went to this friend's crip and now I'm taking a stroll to clear my head blabla'.

 

[Yapper]

most talking is nothing of substance, just a bunch of bullshitting. most people aren't interested in hearing you drone on about your life and your problems anyway, unless it relates to them somehow. you just need to get yourself to not be so internally focused.

 

[Boston DJ]

basically, i spend my life either on the computer (playing games probably), going to uni, working (in a repetitive ****kicker job that requires no thinking), or sleeping. i follow the same simple routine, doing the same things, every day, every week, every month. i never do anything that is too complicated or out of the 'ordinary'. i don't really think about anything except myself, and how miserable my life is, therefore i don't have any knowledge about anything apart from a very narrow range of topics (i'm sure you can guess which).

so my problem is, how do i go in a party and start talking with people, let alone random strangers??

go to a bar, grab a beer and say hello to the nearest HB. It's really not that hard. Do that 10 times if they all reject you worst case scenario you are back at home with your World of Warcraft and Cheetos.

 

[oakraiderz2]

Talk about funny **** you hear, see on tv, or something thats happened to you. You can almost say anything on your mind, as long as its not something too weird or creepy. Entertain yourself.