How to get over a girl who has blown you off

[Brahtha]

Hello DJs. I recently met a girl who I thought I hit it off with at first, and next thing I know. She's giving me a thousand reasons why we can't talk, why she can't meet, the list continues. She only would suggest to meet up if it's beneficial on her part.

I'm very aware that she's not interested, and I know that I shouldn't have put her on a pedestal, somewhere inside me I was wishing it would work out with this chick. I even told her how I felt, and it didn't matter to her still. I chased after her still, trying my best to put myself on her radar.When I try to rationalize it and think back, I have a lot of girl friends that treat me with respect more than she ever will and ever did.

I made the initial steps of walking away, deleted her number, unsubscribed from FB, etc. I'm very new to this DJ/alpha-male of thinking, and I just want to ask a few pointers from the guys out there. What should my mentality be like, and why I shouldn't feel bad that it didn't work out with this girl? How do I avoid being put in a situation like this again?

 

[TheCWord]

Hey man,

Sounds like you're doing all the right things already. We all get caught up in the negative thinking and the "what ifs" - but life is just a series of learning experiences... When the next girl comes along, you won't make the same mistakes you did with this one. Yes, it's too bad that you didn't have those lessons learned in time for the current object of your desire, but you obviously weren't ready to learn from your mistakes before. Now you are. That's why you're walking away from this girl and why you're posting here. And that's awesome!

Best thing to do right now is to think back to how you would have reacted to this situation in your AFC days. You would've kept chasing, kept investing, kept obsessing, and it would only lead to bigger hurt. Now you're hurt and yes it sucks - but you have also made a decision to take care of yourself, to walk away because it's the best thing for your mental health...

And that is something you should be really, really proud of you. Seriously. It's a huge positive and will pay dividends in your long-term personal development.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Is she related to a circle of friends? Would it cause drama to UNFRIEND her on FB?

I suggest you unfriend her completely, not just unsubscribe. You will be TEMPTED to check her page out once in a while and it will create feelings that you don't want to experience. Trust me.

 

[TheCWord]

Is she related to a circle of friends? Would it cause drama to UNFRIEND her on FB?

I suggest you unfriend her completely, not just unsubscribe. You will be TEMPTED to check her page out once in a while and it will create feelings that you don't want to experience. Trust me.

I'd listen to him. I did the same thing with my oneitis and was a much better choice. I just knew all it would take would be one lonely Saturday night to start stalking her profile and making me feel worse.

Plus it had the benefit of letting her know I had reached my wit's end with the way she was behaving. She sent me a text, shocked that I'd unfriended her.

 

[Purefilth]

How to get over a girl that has blown you off?

Wipe off on her favorite blouse, give her a mark out of ten, and go have a cup of tea.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

I'd listen to him. I did the same thing with my oneitis and was a much better choice. I just knew all it would take would be one lonely Saturday night to start stalking her profile and making me feel worse.

Plus it had the benefit of letting her know I had reached my wit's end with the way she was behaving. She sent me a text, shocked that I'd unfriended her.

Funny how she is "shocked" that you pulled back when she treats you like sh1t. I guess guys are just supposed to take that kind of abuse from girls and keep coming back to feed their egos.

What she is really "shocked" about is that she thought you were a total AFC and hoping you would keep stroking her ego, but you showed some spine.

Keep it up.

 

[TheCWord]

Funny how she is "shocked" that you pulled back when she treats you like sh1t. I guess guys are just supposed to take that kind of abuse from girls and keep coming back to feed their egos.

What she is really "shocked" about is that she thought you were a total AFC and hoping you would keep stroking her ego, but you showed some spine.

Keep it up.

Thanks man. She even wrote those four magic words, "I don't get you."

 

[Marker]

I always have women physically write their numbers down when I ask to get them.

One reason is that it's impossible for me to mess up the number.
A second reason is that it can be used as a small bonding experience.
The third reason is that if something stupid happens I can rip it or burn it.

Anyway. The best way to move on is to move on. Rejection sucks the first 1000 times. Then there is this one magical time where you get rejected and you just sort of shrug and go about your day. Then subsequent rejections are irrelevant.

 

[Brahtha]

The only reason I'm keeping her as a friend is we have the same circle of friends, and I don't want her to think that I'm affected by her not liking me. It would only make her feel that wow this guy is so affected that he took the time to delete me.

I know you guys will condemn me for this because I'm such a wuss. I deleted the exact same girl a couple of weeks back, only to come crawling back to her doorstep. I texted her this long novel where I apologized for deleting her saying it was immature and selfish of me and wanted the two of us to still stay as friends.

Look where that got me, it got me one date that she almost flaked, she kept checking out her cellphone, and kept talking about other guys the whole date. I know as you're reading this you will say that I have no self respect. It took this much for me to realize that she doesn't want anything to do with me.

 

[corrector]

Hello DJs. I recently met a girl who I thought I hit it off with at first, and next thing I know. She's giving me a thousand reasons why we can't talk, why she can't meet, the list continues. She only would suggest to meet up if it's beneficial on her part.

Was this someone you met from online dating and you are trying to set up a second date?

I'm very aware that she's not interested, and I know that I shouldn't have put her on a pedestal, somewhere inside me I was wishing it would work out with this chick.

Is this an hb 10 or something? What are you in looks relative to hers?

I even told her how I felt, and it didn't matter to her still. I chased after her still, trying my best to put myself on her radar.

Telling a girl how you feel doesn't increase her interest level. Usually you say that if there is a real hope of a relationship and she's looking for you to say something or she'll back off.

When I try to rationalize it and think back, I have a lot of girl friends that treat me with respect more than she ever will and ever did.

I made the initial steps of walking away, deleted her number, unsubscribed from FB, etc. I'm very new to this DJ/alpha-male of thinking, and I just want to ask a few pointers from the guys out there. What should my mentality be like, and why I shouldn't feel bad that it didn't work out with this girl? How do I avoid being put in a situation like this again?

Your mentality should be analyzing what technique you used with her and where it failed. Did you try "push-pull"? You show interest then back away and go cold on her when she looks excited, etc....? Most slick guys know how to do this. I sounds like you just pushed. It could also be that she looks hotter than you, or met another guy that is hotter than you. These type of girls always have too many options and then they blow you off and come back when they run dry.

 

[Brahtha]

Was this someone you met from online dating and you are trying to set up a second date?



Is this an hb 10 or something? What are you in looks relative to hers?



Telling a girl how you feel doesn't increase her interest level. Usually you say that if there is a real hope of a relationship and she's looking for you to say something or she'll back off.



Your mentality should be analyzing what technique you used with her and where it failed. Did you try "push-pull"? You show interest then back away and go cold on her when she looks excited, etc....? Most slick guys know how to do this. I sounds like you just pushed. It could also be that she looks hotter than you, or met another guy that is hotter than you. These type of girls always have too many options and then they blow you off and come back when they run dry.

She's from the same highschool I went to. But we met recently because of work. I wouldn't say she's drop dead gorgeous, I mistook her initial attention from the start as attraction, and kept playing that over and over in my head. That's why I kept going back to her, even if she was clearly pushing me away already.