How to deal with women with kids?

[f283000]

I'm just looking for beginner advice. I have never dated a woman with a kid before. I'm in my mid 20s and I recently sent out a couple messages to some girls on a dating site (they happen to have kids, but you all know like 3 out of 5 have kids on these sites it seems hard to avoid them).

a few simple questions

1. They will mention the little bastard sooner or later on the first date, how should I react and what should I say? i'm pretty sure ignoring her mention of the kid will give me bad rep points. I have to say thing she is expecting my reaction to it. What can I say that will win me points with her?
2. How do you dig out information about the father? I don't want to get involved with one of those women that say they are single moms yet they still have feelings for the dad, are still friends with the dad or whatever. I want to know if i'm dealing with a woman that has a kid who's father lives close or far, visits the kid often etc.
3. Compared to non-moms, how many dates has it taken you guys to take single moms to bed? does it take more or less effort than those with no kids? from what I heard single moms are hornier than non-moms and are looking for action. Any tips in regards to closing the deal with the single moms?
4. Do single moms have better personalities than non-moms? I don't know where I read this but supposedly single moms have fat girl personalities/better personalities than non-moms.

any other tips or things to expect? let me know.

 

[jophil28]

> Say something like this when she brings up her kiddo-
"Ah, kids gotta love 'em, actually I used to be one back in the day . I was pretty cool too."
IT is kind of lame, but better that being struck dumb.

> She will bring up the father on the first date .Get ready for her victim stories about what a ratass bAstard he is. Slice it all in half and then in half again.

> Getting them into bed is no easier or more difficult that single women. Same rules apply.

> Personalities ? Probably a little less baitchy and less entitled. However you need to trade this benefit off against her committment in time to her kid(s).

 

[Jitterbug]

So you're my age... why would you want to bother with single mums?

 

[trent81]

Try not to date single moms. You will always be number two in her life. Never number one. The child came before you.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear F,
This seems a perennial question,there are so many threads on this....The Good Lord above knows I have enjoyed the charms of quite a few single Mums,and bless their little cotton socks,but I succumbed to their charms when I was in my fifties...As usual Jitterbug has it right,you talk about three out of five on your dating sites having kids,sure but that still leaves two,here down under we have a site that boast 1.3 million members,let's say one half is 600.000 and two fifths of that is 240.000 and thats down here,the mind boggles as to how many you have in the States,so why bother????Trent is also right...The end word,Fvck them but don't fall in love.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear F,
This seems a perennial question,there are so many threads on this....The Good Lord above knows I have enjoyed the charms of quite a few single Mums,and bless their little cotton socks,but I succumbed to their charms when I was in my fifties...As usual Jitterbug has it right,you talk about three out of five on your dating sites having kids,sure but that still leaves two,here down under we have a site that boast 1.3 million members,let's say one half is 600.000 and two fifths of that is 240.000 and thats down here,the mind boggles as to how many you have in the States,so why bother????Trent is also right...The end word,Fvck them but don't fall in love.

 

[Rounder]

You're in your mid 20s - there are PLENTY of women to date who don't have kids. I'll answer a couple of your questions.

#2 - most single moms have feelings toward the father of her kid(s). What feelings those are will vary with the situation, but rarely are the women emotionally free of the situation.

#3 - single moms aren't any hornier than non-moms. Single moms might crave a relationship more though. The longer a mom is single the better imho.

#4 - moms are sometimes more mature - in some ways - but non-moms equal to your age probably have more going for them and a better life.

Moms (as they should be) are usually highly concerned with their kids. Their attention will be on their kids first - unless you're dating skank bags. And some moms will appear to keep their kids first but once you get to know them you'll realize they need a relationship and are looking for a father and a wallet.

Single moms can be good to add as a plate because their time is limited. They can only see you so often (usually) and if they are a good mom they won't wouldn't involve a guy in their kids life until it was a serious relationship. When she has free time she'll want to see you and you'll learn her schedule with her kid very quickly.

Still - you're mid 20s - do NOT get serious about a single mom, just don't do it.

 

[penkitten]

if you don't want to date a single mom who has what you refer to as "bastard kids" then don't. it is that simple.

 

[The Champ]

> Say something like this when she brings up her kiddo-
"Ah, kids gotta love 'em, actually I used to be one back in the day . I was pretty cool too."
IT is kind of lame, but better that being struck dumb.

Haha that line is great. I'm saving it to the archives.

 

[sodbuster]

Not alot of future there,skip it at your age. IF you'd find "the one", and the kid is raising hell in your life-you can't correct the kid[it's MY child, YOU have no buisiness disciplining]. IF you are older, there may not be as many choices without kids. I'm 50, and unless I'm dating real young-they all have kids. NOW SOCIETY [matrix] has this thought that you are a real man for stepping up and taking care of someone elses kid[they don't have to pay welfare,kids turn out better etc.],but is it in YOUR best interest to have your resources used on another mans child?

There needs to be a penalty for running out and becoming a"baby momma". It's up to your generation to make it happen.

 

[Warrior74]

I have a kid, and probably wouldn't want to date some chic who thought of her as a little bastard. That statement alone says you shouldn't be dating women with kids.

I've dated women with kids, but I know how to handle them. I let em know I'm not looking for anything serious.

As for you, leave em alone man. Your just gonna do it wrong. Find some non baby mamas.

 

[trent81]

If the father of the child is unknown, or if the child's father is not around at all in a childs life, the child is therefore a bastard. Why is this so hard for people to realize in America? Is it because of our feminine society? If she doesn't know the dad, or if she has lost all contact with him, her child is a bastard. Period.

 

[f283000]

So you're my age... why would you want to bother with single mums?

1. I'm a college student taking more than full time + working at the same time. I barely have time to do all the things I have to do let alone have a girlfriend. If I date non-moms they might become attached. The last 3 girls I have gone out with I have failed with because I didn't put the time and attention they wanted because I just didn't have the time or energy.
2. Single moms are busier because of the kid so that increases my chances of getting into the type of relationship i want which is a "see you once a week," fb type of thing. I frankly would be happy if they put me 2nd in their life I don't really want a woman that is going to become attached and would want to see me several times a week (a full time gf i guess)
3. Chances of single moms getting pregnant are lower than those that are non moms so I wouldn't have to worry about that so much.

I have a kid, and probably wouldn't want to date some chic who thought of her as a little bastard. That statement alone says you shouldn't be dating women with kids.

That was meant as a joke! geez you guys take things too seriously!

btw nobody has answered my questions! i came here for advice on how to deal with single moms, not for "DON'T DATE SINGLE MOMS" advice!

 

[Jitterbug]

1. I'm a college student taking more than full time + working at the same time. I barely have time to do all the things I have to do let alone have a girlfriend. If I date non-moms they might become attached. The last 3 girls I have gone out with I have failed with because I didn't put the time and attention they wanted because I just didn't have the time or energy.
2. Single moms are busier because of the kid so that increases my chances of getting into the type of relationship i want which is a "see you once a week," fb type of thing. I frankly would be happy if they put me 2nd in their life I don't really want a woman that is going to become attached and would want to see me several times a week (a full time gf i guess)

Solution: date a girl who's chasing a career. Either she's trying to start her own business or climbing the corporate ladder. I've dated a couple, although I'm the opposite of you: I don't want to be 2nd - so they didn't work out.

3. Chances of single moms getting pregnant are lower than those that are non moms so I wouldn't have to worry about that so much.

Oh you're gonna be in for a rude shock with that assumption!

 

[Warrior74]

Yah...because we know your sense of humor so well. Even trent took it too far. Anyway...

with single moms, let em know up front what you are all about....its better that way. Some will be down for that, some won't but at least you won't have to lie to them. I tell the single mothers I date that I've been thru the ringer with my ex and I'm not looking to jump into anything serious. I just want to see where it goes.

I have a daughter so I can always use that to show them my view on kids. I tell them early on that I don't introduce my daughter to anyone that I am not serious with and by serious I mean someone I would want to marry. So they dont expect to meet my kid and I don't expect to meet theirs. I also tell them that I am dating, so they know I am not just seeing them. Maybe some of that can help you. Good luck.

 

[Mistic]

Are you kidding me? THIS is one of the most pathetic threads I have ever seen. You truly are a douche bag.

 

[OamImrsNemo]

Are you kidding me? THIS is one of the most pathetic threads I have ever seen. You truly are a douche bag.

Ouch?! so much hostility?

To each his own right? you dont know his scene? or live his life?

But I never get why so many people are so aggressive to eachother on this site man?

We should be a band of Don Juan brothers looking to acheive and conquor
the ***** warriors haha. the band of sl*ts....

but seriosly guys...lets work together and focuse on the goal not
bringing eachother down? right?