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How to deal with liars and "fishing for truth with lies"

Maeisgood

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What are some ways of dealing with liars? I remember reading in class that one of Shakespeare's characters said "Fish for truth with lies," meaning say things and see how others react to it and when if they correct what you say, revealing other facts previously unknown to you.

If anyone knows what I'm talking about I'd appreciate thoughts about this or similar tactics for detecting liars.
 

WhtRbt

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The way to deal with liars is to get them the hell out of your life.
 

Maeisgood

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I thought they were! Its just a sad fact of life that liars are everywhere and there must be a way of dealing with them.

Children are taught to not lie, but then at the same time they are scolded when they same something truthful and hurtful. They are also not taught how to deal with liars.
 

Allurre

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When women lie, you're instinct should perk up. You should feel something wrong. Check for inflections in her voice, and watch her eye ball movement.

When women lie, they always seem uneasy.
 

Maeisgood

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What are some common "tells" as they are called in poker?
 

Unbridled_Phoenix

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Watch their eyes when you ask a question. If they look to the right, they are accessing stored memories and "remembering". If they look to the left, they are creating. And no, this isn't pop psychology, it's used by every street cop and interrogator out there.
 

Vypros

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1. How much detail is being talked about when she's talking to you? Women love and THRIVE on details. But someone who is lying typically doesn't give out too many details because they aren't confident in what they are telling you. So pay attention to the details.

2. Watch her body language. Is she covering her face in any way? Things like scratching their nose, covering their mouth, etc. are all cues that someone might be lying.

3. Lack of eye contact, looking down when you meet their eyes, or rapidly looking from side to side.

4. Lack of animation, clenching hands, hands palms down.

5.Legs and arms close to body.

6. Stiff, artificial movements.

7. A partial shrug (as if to convey they are casual about it, but it's more mechanical than anything else).

8. Check the timing. For example, if someone is shaking their head BEFORE the words are coming out, they are probably telling the truth. However if it's AFTER the words are coming out, they could be lying.

9. Contradiction and consistency. If the look on their face doesn't match the words that are coming out of her mouth, she's probably lying.

There's a few (most of them come from David Lieberman's book Never be lied to Again). If you want some more, buy a copy of the book. I have one and I can definately vouch for it that it's worth it.
 

lalahaha

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What Allure said, I just follow my instict. In my head if I get any doubt they are probably lying, having one-itis though causes you to ignore your instinct and that little bit of logic and sense screaming at you
 

kyokon

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Well I have quite a bit of experience being lied to, unfortunately my woman was kind of a compulsive liar, she was so good at it I was with her for 6 years and married for two before I realised many things that if I had known to start with I would probably never even have gone out with her, at least not seriously.

Anyway, the liar force was strong in that one, so moving eyeballs and stiff arm signs or whatever were useless really. The only things mentioned here that are failsafe are points 1 and 9 of Vypros's: consistency and detail. I don't think there is any way you can tell if she's lying right away, but you can compare what she says about something to what she says later and see if they add up. The problem for liars is that while there is only one truth, there can be any number of lies made up to cover the truth, and all of these lies must be remembered...

So you need to ask for a little bit more information, about things that are seemingly unimportant, at least for the time-being. Get her to embellish the story, if the story is true you will be getting more truth, if not you will be getting more bullshjt. I believe in court this is known as extemporaneous detail, and every truthful witness should be able to provide it without hesitation. If the story was that she went out somewhere, well, did she go with anyone and where did they go, what time did they get there/leave/eat/drink, were they able to park on X street or did they have to walk from further away, was that ******* bartender there again etc. If the story is real, she will probably offer more details without being asked (the steak was too tough etc) but if it's a cover story generally the answers will be very brief and you'll need to draw it out bit by bit. But don't make this an interrogation, be nonchalant like you are not really listening much, and get into the habit of asking about things like this even when you are not suspicious so it seems more normal. If she thinks you are suspicious she will remember the story better herself later. Fishing for lies can work sometimes (oh, so did you see the (non-existent) car crash on main st?) but I find that jacks the suspicion level up too quickly.

If you already know at this point that some of the story is a lie, good for you. But if you don't, obviously what you then do is touch on bits of the story later on, after a long enough time has passed that the story has faded from her memory. "Hey what was that place you had steak at a couple weeks ago, let's go there." Perhaps not such a good example but you get the idea. A little bit of information can go a long way. When I first started dating that girl she was living with her parents, apparently. Then after a few months she moved into her own apartment. It wasnt until a few months after that when I was looking through the photos on my phone, I found one of her she had sent to me, but now I recognized her apartment in the background, but the photo was dated 3 months before she told me she had moved there. So I asked her again when she moved in there, and even though she could actually still remember the bullshjt version and told me it again, I was able to impeach that immediately with the photo - immensely satisfying :)

And if you do find yourself with a liar like that, save yourself some stress and demote her to fkk-buddy status... it's not worth the hassle.
 

Duffdog

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The problem with "dealing with liars" is that all chics are lying to you if you have low value. Since girls take the path of least resistance to get out of any situation, lying is often the easiest in most cases. So, prepare to be lied to for the duration of your life unless you become someone of high value. There really is no way to "get them out of your life" unless you decide that you are going to get all attractive females out of your life.

What an awesome life that would be...eh?

Just remember, if all these women are cheating, they surely aren't telling the truth to their boyfriends now are they?
 

comic_relief

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My one ex-friend was awesome at lying. He could lie straight to your face and not even bring about a tinge of showing that he was lying.

The only way that I found out was through mistakes he or the other person made (the most damning thing was her leaving her journal open showing that she was lying to me about everything).

When I called my ex-friend out, he had a blank stare on his face iwth an "oh fvck" look on his face.

The only good way to catch a liar is to catch him up in his own BS and delusions. Then call him on it.

- comic_relief
 
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