How to deal with her friend?

[MindOverMatter]

Hi, I've been reading this website/forums for a while now, but haven't posted much (I have however spent a lot of time practicing the content I have read tho).

Here's a little background to my question. I have taken a law class during the summer that I need for my degree. The other day, I came to class early, and there were 6 people in it, sitting pretty far apart from each other, and one was a HB8. I sit in her row and start talking to her.

It's hard to evaluate your own performance because there is usuaully something that you miss out, but I felt I was on top of the game at the time. I didn't feel nervous when I approached her, and didn't even consider the possibility that she might shut me down. That state of mind helped me a lot. Was using eye-contact, smiling, asking her questions about herself, then asking questions based on her answers, and using C&F when asked a personal question. I didn't bother with neg-hits because she didn't act snobby or have her *****-shield up. I think her interest level was pretty good, she was playing with her hair, maintaining eye-contact, smiling back, and had playfully punched me in the arm after a C&F comment.

Then the class started filling up, and one of her friends (i'd say a 6.5 on looks scale) came and sat in our row. Now, I know better then to exclude her friend, so I start up a conversation with her and get to know her a bit. She was pretty friendly, and I thought I made a good first impression, but there was one problem.

Everytime I moved the spotlight from the friend to the HB8, her friend would wait till I finished a sentence, then ask her an inside question (usually about their common friends and such), and launch into a conversation, totally shutting me out. After that, it was near impossible to maintain convo with the HB8 without her friend butting in. I was gonna do my number close at the end of the class, but her friend engaged her in a 5 min conversation and there was no way I could have isolated the HB8. I realize that this situation could have been handled easily with the help of a wingman, but unfortunately I had to work solo at the time.

Now there are many other great looking girls in the class, most of them solo. I figure it would be easier to pick up a solo girl, then to get through this broad's conversational bodyguard. That being said, next class, I will sit another spot and chat some other girl up.

However, I would like to hear your opinions on how you would have handled the situation cause I'm sure it will occur again.

Peace.

 

[Slickster]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
That being said, next class, I will sit another spot and chat some other girl up.

If she was at all interested then this is a great tactic. Make sure you make her laugh out loud in the other girls presence. You really should be chatting up ALL the chicks in your class. Even the ones you aren't interested in.

Dealing with ****blocking friends can be tough. In my experience you have to pay attention to both chicks equally and hope to get the one you are interested in isolated at some point.

If this is a class you will be taking for some time then I wouldn't rush things too much. You have a great opportunity to raise the IL's of the women in your class during group discussions, study groups, etc.

You will be a man in demand and we all know how much women love competition.

 

[Grey Fox]

I agree, the only reason why time should ever be an issue if you are taking to long to do something. Your approach was timely, a good thing and it initially worked out for you. However your getting to the number close was not, waiting for class to start may not have been such a good idea. My thinking here is that with fewer people in the room to see her giving out the number, the more comfortable she will be giving it. Also if you went for the number close with her friend there she would most certainly try to shut you down for good.

About the **** blocking friend of HB8's, you really are going to have to look out for that if you eventually move forward with this girl. Though I do disagree with the amount of attention you should give between an HB8 and a 6.5. You see girls who do not look good are really sensitive about that, and percieve a lot of their surroundings based on that fact. So when you are chatting it up with the HB, her mind registers that as just another trying to hit on a hot girl.(Which 6.5 is not.) And so since she is not getting any attention she will shut you down out of spite, conscious or not. But knowing that women are sensitive about their apperance you can use this situation to your advantage. Next time pay more attention to the 6.5 and not HB8. Thats right you heard me.

Think of it this way HB8 is used to having all kinds of guys toss numbers and game at her. While 6.5 probably just gets a frizbee tossed at her because someone mistook her for a dog. 6.5 will be disarmed by your attention and that will help get you an in since she is a friend. But this also plays a game with HB8, she'll start to wonder why you are not treating her like all those other guys. She even may wonder if there is something wrong with her since you are paying attention to an uglier girl. She certainly doesn't want to be upstaged by a 6.5 so she will compete for your attention and may even toss a number at you just to get ahead in the competitive sport women have, one uping each other. Which I believe goes back to what Slickster so wisely said, that creating competition is a good thing and to chat it up with the rest of the ladies in the class is a good move too.

-Grey Fox

 

[MindOverMatter]

I agree with you about the number close Grey. If I knew she had a friend in the class, I would have prolly faked an emergency call on my cell, got her number, and left. However, at the time I was convinced she was solo, and was confident enough in the fact that I could close at the end of the class. What I'm trying to say is, I didn't think it was necessery to skip a class over a phone number I was sure I would get.

Think of it this way HB8 is used to having all kinds of guys toss numbers and game at her. While 6.5 probably just gets a frizbee tossed at her because someone mistook her for a dog.

This is one of the best quotes ever haha. I totally agree with you.

To be honest, I thought I spent a lot of time talking with her friend. I'd prolly say that once her friend arrived on the scene, I spent 70% of time talking to her friend, and 30% of time talking to the HB8. I'll explain why I didn't focus 100% on her friend:

But this also plays a game with HB8, she'll start to wonder why you are not treating her like all those other guys. She even may wonder if there is something wrong with her since you are paying attention to an uglier girl. She certainly doesn't want to be upstaged by a 6.5 so she will compete for your attention and may even toss a number at you just to get ahead in the competitive sport women have, one uping each other.

If I gave 100% attention to her friend, this would certanly be a possibility. However, there is another thing to consider. Say I spent 100% of my time talking with her friend. You're right, it would definetly give the HB8 the impression that I'm more interested in her friend. However, what if she didn't get competitive? I know that girls usually are very territorial when it comes to men, but there is also an exception when it comes to their ugly friends. Sometimes they're willing to pass up an oppurtunity and let their ugly friend get it.

It just seemed like a lose-lose scenario to me. I think my main downfall was the lack of preperation. I should have spent the first few classes observing which girls were alone, and which had friends. That way, I would have known which girl to approach, and which girl to do a fast close on before her friend got there.

Live and learn.