"How to be yourself and STILL get girls"
That question has plagued us DJ’s for as long as the seduction community was founded. HOW can we be ourselves if we must be “****y and funny” or “act disinterested” to get a girl? Surprisingly, not all of us are born to be ****y, and funnily enough, not all of us were born to be uber-alpha men.
Obviously, if you are looking for a one nighter, then being yourself doesn’t really have much significance. It’s like being on stage in a play for a couple of hours. The next morning, you can “revert” back to your “old/AFC” self and get on with life. But- if you are like me- and want to be in a LTR, then everything changes. Being in a LTR while being “another person” is the most dissatisfying thing you can do. And it takes a sh*t load of energy to maintain that mask of fakeness. Not worth it in my opinion.
So what can we do? It’s extremely hard (if not impossible) to add all these dimensions to our personalities without losing some of…ourselves!
The way I see it, DJ-ing isn’t about adding bits and pieces to our personality. It’s about removing bad habits.
To illustrate my point, here’s a nice metaphor for you guys (credit to Paul McKenna and his “change your life in 7 days” book):
We are all born as “Diamonds.” The diamond is who we are, what we are really like on the inside. But as we grow up, we get covered in layers of sh*t.
Disney fairy tales- brown mushy sh*t!
Advice from your mom- horse sh*t!
Bully in 6th grade teasing you for being ugly- bull sh*t!
In effect, the layers of sh*t is our bad habits, our desperation, fear, and the person we’re AFRAID we are.
Obviously, we can’t go around walking as a piece of sh*t. So to “compensate” and to make sure others still approve and like us, we add a layer above the sh*t- a layer of Nail-Varnish. The nail varnish makes us appear more attractive to the rest of the world. Most of the DJ stuff we learn (****iness, Alpha-ness, etc.) is in the nail varnish category.
But why add nail varnish to ourselves when, underneath all those layer of sh*t, is a real diamond! It all seems to silly and counterproductive now!
So in the end, I don’t think DJ-ing is about adding more layers of varnish to ourselves. No, DJ-ing is about
“Digging away the SH*T, so we realize that we don’t need nail varnish- we’re DIMAONDS on the inside.”
And that is what I’ve been doing for the past few months. Recognizing bad habits (e.g. interrupting people when they speak) and removing them. Uncovering negative self talk, and replacing them with more positive messages. As I see my layers of sh*t melt away, my true self- the self that I always was and wanted to be- started to come out and shine.
I’m really tired right now, so I can’t be bothered to write more. But you guys are smart enough to know what I mean. Would be nice though if we could list out all the negative qualities (i.e sh*t) that we are all covered by. Here’s a few off the top of my head:
Desperation
Fear
Guilt
Sucking up (supplication)
Giving false compliments
Trying to “prove” ourselves
Putting her on the pedestal
Anyways, enough from me. You guys think up of some more
Thank you, and goodnight.
That question has plagued us DJ’s for as long as the seduction community was founded. HOW can we be ourselves if we must be “****y and funny” or “act disinterested” to get a girl? Surprisingly, not all of us are born to be ****y, and funnily enough, not all of us were born to be uber-alpha men.
Obviously, if you are looking for a one nighter, then being yourself doesn’t really have much significance. It’s like being on stage in a play for a couple of hours. The next morning, you can “revert” back to your “old/AFC” self and get on with life. But- if you are like me- and want to be in a LTR, then everything changes. Being in a LTR while being “another person” is the most dissatisfying thing you can do. And it takes a sh*t load of energy to maintain that mask of fakeness. Not worth it in my opinion.
So what can we do? It’s extremely hard (if not impossible) to add all these dimensions to our personalities without losing some of…ourselves!
The way I see it, DJ-ing isn’t about adding bits and pieces to our personality. It’s about removing bad habits.
To illustrate my point, here’s a nice metaphor for you guys (credit to Paul McKenna and his “change your life in 7 days” book):
We are all born as “Diamonds.” The diamond is who we are, what we are really like on the inside. But as we grow up, we get covered in layers of sh*t.
Disney fairy tales- brown mushy sh*t!
Advice from your mom- horse sh*t!
Bully in 6th grade teasing you for being ugly- bull sh*t!
In effect, the layers of sh*t is our bad habits, our desperation, fear, and the person we’re AFRAID we are.
Obviously, we can’t go around walking as a piece of sh*t. So to “compensate” and to make sure others still approve and like us, we add a layer above the sh*t- a layer of Nail-Varnish. The nail varnish makes us appear more attractive to the rest of the world. Most of the DJ stuff we learn (****iness, Alpha-ness, etc.) is in the nail varnish category.
But why add nail varnish to ourselves when, underneath all those layer of sh*t, is a real diamond! It all seems to silly and counterproductive now!
So in the end, I don’t think DJ-ing is about adding more layers of varnish to ourselves. No, DJ-ing is about
“Digging away the SH*T, so we realize that we don’t need nail varnish- we’re DIMAONDS on the inside.”
And that is what I’ve been doing for the past few months. Recognizing bad habits (e.g. interrupting people when they speak) and removing them. Uncovering negative self talk, and replacing them with more positive messages. As I see my layers of sh*t melt away, my true self- the self that I always was and wanted to be- started to come out and shine.
I’m really tired right now, so I can’t be bothered to write more. But you guys are smart enough to know what I mean. Would be nice though if we could list out all the negative qualities (i.e sh*t) that we are all covered by. Here’s a few off the top of my head:
Desperation
Fear
Guilt
Sucking up (supplication)
Giving false compliments
Trying to “prove” ourselves
Putting her on the pedestal
Anyways, enough from me. You guys think up of some more
Thank you, and goodnight.
