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How to be the bigger person

thegoodstuff92

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I'll keep it short (if you need any info in order to have a more informed suggestion feel free to ask). This girl, we'll call her Maria, I used to be head over heels for. We were good friends throughout high school and a few years after. All of that changed once I started dating someone who is now my ex. Before my ex and I got serious, I told Maria how I felt about her and that I decided to cut off communication out of respect for my ex. Maria responded by saying how she'll miss being friends with me yada yada. So we cut ties, about two years pass to now. I recently started a new Instagram account, and I decided to follow Maria again. However her account is private and needs to be requested before following. I requested, some days passed by, and I know she saw my request but didn't do anything about it because she probably had to think about it. She finally accepted it but never followed back. Now if this was some random chick I knew, it wouldn't phase me. But we had history together and I thought maybe we had some level of respect towards each other to at least be comfortable communicating on things like Facebook and Instagram? I guess not, not really sure.

So as the title says, what would put me in a position of being the better person?
A) completely ignoring everything, just continue with my life, and act like nothing happened? Continue following her without expectations?

B) unfollow her, letting her know that I acknowledged everything. Continue to move on with my life?

C) text her asking about her decision? (This doesn't sound good to me as it comes off as needy, which is the exact opposite of what I want to come off as)

D) just continue life, act as if I didn't care. Treat her as I would like any other person on Instagram (liking/commenting on posts that I find interesting).

E) what your suggestion is.

Right now I'm at a point in my life where I'm just focusing on myself.
 

thegoodstuff92

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For your information here are some things that might inform you better:

  • My ex and I dated for two years. I broke it off with her because I wasn't committed. Never cheated. I'm just not ready for a relationship, and long term speaking, I didn't think things would last.
  • Maria and I have mutual friends. Our most mutual and closest friend had a bday gathering where I ran into Maria and her current boyfriend. I had no problems meeting her or him. We said hello but that is all. My ex told me however that when she said hi to Maria, she coldly ignored her and said hello to everyone else in the circle (I wasn't there at the time so I cannot confirm). This is how my ex realized that I had a thing for Maria.
  • Back in High School I confessed how I felt towards Maria but in a very counter effective way. I basically ignored her all of senior year. She was angry towards me and couldn't figure out why I was acting like that. That's when I told her how I felt for the first time ever. The way I ignored her and acted, put her off and we became distant.
  • After high school things got a little better. We still hung out at times, rebuilding our friendship. My feelings toward her were still there however I can't really say she felt the same towards me. There wasn't any obvious signs of romantic interest from her. Just a few things that were a bit questionable. But then again, even my ex can confirm this, I AM EXTREMELY OBLIVIOUS TO WHEN GIRLS ARE GIVING SIGNALS THAT THEY ARE FLIRTING. I don't know why. I just am. If you're curious on what kind of things Maria would do that might indicate something, let me know and I'll fill you in.
 

Yewki

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You are too caught up in this and are making it overly complicated. You obviously want to bang her. Cut the passive aggressive instagram friendship drama crap and message her directly.
 

thegoodstuff92

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You are too caught up in this and are making it overly complicated. You obviously want to bang her. Cut the passive aggressive instagram friendship drama crap and message her directly.
honestly just wanted to be on good terms. But u have a point, i am definitely over complicating it. I guess I'm just a little offended by her choice to not follow back. It's all good though, it won't hold me back. Let me ask you this. Why message her at all if she's not even decent enough to maintain social media contact?
 

dustmuffin

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honestly just wanted to be on good terms. But u have a point, i am definitely over complicating it. I guess I'm just a little offended by her choice to not follow back. It's all good though, it won't hold me back. Let me ask you this. Why message her at all if she's not even decent enough to maintain social media contact?
If you are interested ask her out
That way she knows your intentions and when ahe answera you will know hers. Who gives a s hit anout social media? Women? I was in a relationship for a year and we were not fb driends. Just ask her out.
 

thegoodstuff92

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If you are interested ask her out
That way she knows your intentions and when ahe answera you will know hers. Who gives a s hit anout social media? Women? I was in a relationship for a year and we were not fb driends. Just ask her out.
I think there's some confusion. Im not seeking advice on how to bang or date her. Just seeking advice on how to handle this like a gentleman.
 

dustmuffin

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I think there's some confusion. Im not seeking advice on how to bang or date her. Just seeking advice on how to handle this like a gentleman.
Then do choice A. You are over thinking like a woman. Rid yourself of your inner pu ssy.
 

Trump

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While you are trying to hash things out and give us more information about what to do and how to act, Maria is drinking expensive wine and eating chocolate from Swizerland while having sex with her 6'2 boyfriend.

Come on bro, find another girl to have sex with. We get so focused and locked in on one girl who used to give us attention that common sense goes out the window when we feel lonely. Brutal.
 

Yewki

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I think there's some confusion. Im not seeking advice on how to bang or date her. Just seeking advice on how to handle this like a gentleman.
You're not trying to bang her?? You haven't spoke to her in 2 years and she didn't return your friend request on instagram?

Why do you even care????
 

Leaf

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Over complicating. Be indifferent. Find another woman because the moment you let a girl get to you, you lost the game and it's an uphill battle to get it back let alone if SHE knows she holds the power.
 
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