If you truely believe you are a DJ, that you are happy with your life and doubt no longer plagues you like it did as an AFC. Then please read on, if not save this post for another day.
So you've got your life figured out your happy, you no longer need this place as a means to feel good about yourself or how to improve yourself, though constant improvement is your goal, you are far better off than how you came to this place. Now you want to go out there and get numbers, dates, and have women hanging over you. You know its going to take some initial experience in "the field" but your ready to go and more importantly to deal with the initial mixed results as all of us have.
This is what I have found useful to mean from practical field experience, trying different approaches and handling situations. These are the things I find crucial to success. So now I proudly present my guide if you will on how to be successful with women.
THE ATTITUDE
First drop the "mysogony" towards women. You are no longer an AFC you don't need it, because you now how the game is played so you will act accordingly. If you wave the "Women Are Two Faced" banner in your actions and words, you might as well stay home on friday night.
Next the best attitude to have is the attitude of being personable. Meaning that you have a friendly apperance, attitude sort of like the good host at a party. This means that you should be able to talk like you were a born public speaker, make jokes like a comedian, and a hint of the serious and sensitive side. Notice I didn't say excel in all these areas, nope your going to be the generalized specialist. Meaning that you can do all of them some maybe better than others but no one can peg you down as the "class clown," "bad boy," "intellectual," "the chill one." The two obvious and immediate advantages is that you will not seem like a flat character out of a cheap novel, and since no one can figure you out, you are a mystery. The only thing that can be said about you is that "your good company in any company."
IMAGE
Image is crucial and the beauty behind image is though first apperances play a major role once that apperance is set it takes a while to break. While an AFC will freak out at hearing this, any DJ should be able to see the oppurtunity here. Look decent, you don't have to be a model, put look decently dressed and groomed and carry yourself like this look is your second skin and women will be impressed. Your attitude in public will help backup your positive image.
WINGMEN
Ever hear the saying "There are no old, bold pilots that fly solo." That because more often than not those bold pilots get shot down when they run into there first roadblock. Any of you who say "Well its more noble to pick up a woman solo." Can stop reading right now, and don't reply saying just that because I won't argue with you its a stupid point. Wingmen are around for a purpose since women at parties, clubs, bars and even out in public hang out in groups you need someone to make your life easier. A wingman should be able to help you engage a converstation with the woman of interest. Talk you up keeping you from looking arrogant. Redirect attention and aviod roadblocks amongst other kinds of blocks. Finally be able to gracefully bow out and allow you to single out this woman of interest. When given the option of going with a wingman that I know, trust, and is proven in the field or going alone. I'll take a wingman, it can be a lot of fun watching each other work and you get to brag about it later, a great way to keep your confidence sky high.
THE IDEAL PICKUP
The ideal pickup up is simple to understand but hard to master. In just about any situation you can pick up a woman if you play it right. Sometimes its making a direct approach other times it could be sitting in a movie theater talking with your buddies before the movie starts and you make sure the conversation is interesting and just loud enough for her to hear so that her curiosity will get the best of her. Other times you can be at a bar, check some girl out, see her looking back. What I and my friends did was send out a wingman to the bar where she was to get a beer and chat it up with the bartender.(I was the wingman that time, I'm a natural at public speaking and dealing with strangers) Then having your other two buddies come over catch and let the one slip out of the convo for a sec say something to the girl and then me and the other wing man would suddenly include them in the convo. What made it work was the fact that the convo was light in nature and friendly and lent itself to some common ground. You'll know when its working because you'll feel a connection start to form as she enters the convo. Other times we'd be at the beach and be playing v-ball and invite some girls to play who'd been watching but doing nothing. Typically the ideal pickup becomes the ideal pickup situation when you simply have the balls to try and you find that situation itself is would lend itself to a pickup. This means situations like sitting in church and blurting out "Whats your name cutie" while the priest is in a sermon is not an ideal time in any time, ever. But social settings that allow complete strangers to converse and meet are, you just need to have the right attitude and image it pull it off.
DATING
Dating works like this, first couple of dates should light and fun. Movies, mini golf, bowling, go karts, a party with mutual friends, a ball game. Are all good and great just be sure its fun and it should work. Eventually at some point she will want to use one of these dates to "talk." Basically she wants to see past that light, funny exterior and see if you have any depth in your personality. Hopefully you have decent skills in communication and know have to make a little mystery. Don't make it too hard to see your other sides. Hint at them a little but never come out and be overly sensitive or serious or too sexual. Make it a game like an Easter Egg hunt, she has to search around but when she finds something small but nice its enough to make her to want to keep up the search for the "deeper you." After she has made the attempt to seriously figure you out now its time to do the "serious stuff:" go out to dinner and dancing, hanging out at each others places and chilling, going to a club, and of course doing something fun. A lot of guys including DJs have the problem of figuring out where to go on a date always trying to be orginal. The trick here is that you can do the same stuff over again, all you have to do is space it out so it doesnt seem like your going to the movies or mini golf or staying in every weekend. Just keep things varied, and considering how most women think guys are clueless about dating they will still be suprised that you are keeping variety in your dates.(Even my last girlfriend said that, but was suprised to catch herself falling for me because I wasn't acting like the typical guy.)
HOW TO KNOW IF THINGS ARE MOVING FORWARD
Whether its the first or fifth or fiftith date. All guys even DJs will occassionaly wonder if things are moving forward,, are they leading to kissing, sex, a serious relationship, marriage or if she is really interested. You'd be suprised a lot of guys are more worried about her being interested than how they do sexually. As one friend put it "Hell its like firing a gun, just a few practice shoots down at the range and you know how and where to point the thing." Anyone who says they are "too scared" is just hiding the fact they can't get far enough to even worry about sex. Now its been said before that there are all sorts of signs and tests to help you figure her interest out. I have found a way for myself that takes care of any questions. I think of it as weight lifting, you know your weight lifting is effective if you are slowly getting stronger even if the scales show a little more weight. If you are getting heavier and not gaining strength you know your just fat. Cute analogy but really even if things are moving slow but you see the signs that the relationship is getting somewhere or you are getting closer to a close and there are no real doubts about you being used then proceed. But if things keep seeming to go on and on and nothing is getting stronger, I think and I would say you have some wieght to cut down on
DEALING WITH TESTS AND OTHER JUNK
Best way to deal with this stuff is to first not care, second never pin your hopes on one girl, and third be ****y and funny enough to bust her when she pulls this crap. I once had a girl say to me that what would I do if she didn't come over and dance with me later on at some club. I replied simply "Watch" and I turned my back to her danced with some other girl. It took about 3 minutes before she came over pulled me away and gave it her all on the floor. If some girl is throughing tests out left and right forget her she is immature.(If you noticed I talk about women and girls, women are mature and fun to date, girls are like your 18 to 23 group who are immature and need a good reality check.) No matter what anyone says and no matter what lines are moves they pawn on you, when you get tested never, ever let her catch you flat on your feet.
LIFE ISN'T FAIR
Yeah there are going to be times when the woman you want slips through your fingers, you goof and she bails, this will happen especially in the begining. But always, always act like a DJ. That means be proud, handle whatever happens with diginity and say "Hell to that." and move on. If she is to stupid to see your qualities right now, then she didn't even deserve that first chance you so kindly gave her. But don't worry ever since I became a DJ the women in my past that I let go or let me go have always tried to get back into my life at some point. Of course they never do...because life just isn't fair
-Grey Fox
So you've got your life figured out your happy, you no longer need this place as a means to feel good about yourself or how to improve yourself, though constant improvement is your goal, you are far better off than how you came to this place. Now you want to go out there and get numbers, dates, and have women hanging over you. You know its going to take some initial experience in "the field" but your ready to go and more importantly to deal with the initial mixed results as all of us have.
This is what I have found useful to mean from practical field experience, trying different approaches and handling situations. These are the things I find crucial to success. So now I proudly present my guide if you will on how to be successful with women.
THE ATTITUDE
First drop the "mysogony" towards women. You are no longer an AFC you don't need it, because you now how the game is played so you will act accordingly. If you wave the "Women Are Two Faced" banner in your actions and words, you might as well stay home on friday night.
Next the best attitude to have is the attitude of being personable. Meaning that you have a friendly apperance, attitude sort of like the good host at a party. This means that you should be able to talk like you were a born public speaker, make jokes like a comedian, and a hint of the serious and sensitive side. Notice I didn't say excel in all these areas, nope your going to be the generalized specialist. Meaning that you can do all of them some maybe better than others but no one can peg you down as the "class clown," "bad boy," "intellectual," "the chill one." The two obvious and immediate advantages is that you will not seem like a flat character out of a cheap novel, and since no one can figure you out, you are a mystery. The only thing that can be said about you is that "your good company in any company."
IMAGE
Image is crucial and the beauty behind image is though first apperances play a major role once that apperance is set it takes a while to break. While an AFC will freak out at hearing this, any DJ should be able to see the oppurtunity here. Look decent, you don't have to be a model, put look decently dressed and groomed and carry yourself like this look is your second skin and women will be impressed. Your attitude in public will help backup your positive image.
WINGMEN
Ever hear the saying "There are no old, bold pilots that fly solo." That because more often than not those bold pilots get shot down when they run into there first roadblock. Any of you who say "Well its more noble to pick up a woman solo." Can stop reading right now, and don't reply saying just that because I won't argue with you its a stupid point. Wingmen are around for a purpose since women at parties, clubs, bars and even out in public hang out in groups you need someone to make your life easier. A wingman should be able to help you engage a converstation with the woman of interest. Talk you up keeping you from looking arrogant. Redirect attention and aviod roadblocks amongst other kinds of blocks. Finally be able to gracefully bow out and allow you to single out this woman of interest. When given the option of going with a wingman that I know, trust, and is proven in the field or going alone. I'll take a wingman, it can be a lot of fun watching each other work and you get to brag about it later, a great way to keep your confidence sky high.
THE IDEAL PICKUP
The ideal pickup up is simple to understand but hard to master. In just about any situation you can pick up a woman if you play it right. Sometimes its making a direct approach other times it could be sitting in a movie theater talking with your buddies before the movie starts and you make sure the conversation is interesting and just loud enough for her to hear so that her curiosity will get the best of her. Other times you can be at a bar, check some girl out, see her looking back. What I and my friends did was send out a wingman to the bar where she was to get a beer and chat it up with the bartender.(I was the wingman that time, I'm a natural at public speaking and dealing with strangers) Then having your other two buddies come over catch and let the one slip out of the convo for a sec say something to the girl and then me and the other wing man would suddenly include them in the convo. What made it work was the fact that the convo was light in nature and friendly and lent itself to some common ground. You'll know when its working because you'll feel a connection start to form as she enters the convo. Other times we'd be at the beach and be playing v-ball and invite some girls to play who'd been watching but doing nothing. Typically the ideal pickup becomes the ideal pickup situation when you simply have the balls to try and you find that situation itself is would lend itself to a pickup. This means situations like sitting in church and blurting out "Whats your name cutie" while the priest is in a sermon is not an ideal time in any time, ever. But social settings that allow complete strangers to converse and meet are, you just need to have the right attitude and image it pull it off.
DATING
Dating works like this, first couple of dates should light and fun. Movies, mini golf, bowling, go karts, a party with mutual friends, a ball game. Are all good and great just be sure its fun and it should work. Eventually at some point she will want to use one of these dates to "talk." Basically she wants to see past that light, funny exterior and see if you have any depth in your personality. Hopefully you have decent skills in communication and know have to make a little mystery. Don't make it too hard to see your other sides. Hint at them a little but never come out and be overly sensitive or serious or too sexual. Make it a game like an Easter Egg hunt, she has to search around but when she finds something small but nice its enough to make her to want to keep up the search for the "deeper you." After she has made the attempt to seriously figure you out now its time to do the "serious stuff:" go out to dinner and dancing, hanging out at each others places and chilling, going to a club, and of course doing something fun. A lot of guys including DJs have the problem of figuring out where to go on a date always trying to be orginal. The trick here is that you can do the same stuff over again, all you have to do is space it out so it doesnt seem like your going to the movies or mini golf or staying in every weekend. Just keep things varied, and considering how most women think guys are clueless about dating they will still be suprised that you are keeping variety in your dates.(Even my last girlfriend said that, but was suprised to catch herself falling for me because I wasn't acting like the typical guy.)
HOW TO KNOW IF THINGS ARE MOVING FORWARD
Whether its the first or fifth or fiftith date. All guys even DJs will occassionaly wonder if things are moving forward,, are they leading to kissing, sex, a serious relationship, marriage or if she is really interested. You'd be suprised a lot of guys are more worried about her being interested than how they do sexually. As one friend put it "Hell its like firing a gun, just a few practice shoots down at the range and you know how and where to point the thing." Anyone who says they are "too scared" is just hiding the fact they can't get far enough to even worry about sex. Now its been said before that there are all sorts of signs and tests to help you figure her interest out. I have found a way for myself that takes care of any questions. I think of it as weight lifting, you know your weight lifting is effective if you are slowly getting stronger even if the scales show a little more weight. If you are getting heavier and not gaining strength you know your just fat. Cute analogy but really even if things are moving slow but you see the signs that the relationship is getting somewhere or you are getting closer to a close and there are no real doubts about you being used then proceed. But if things keep seeming to go on and on and nothing is getting stronger, I think and I would say you have some wieght to cut down on
DEALING WITH TESTS AND OTHER JUNK
Best way to deal with this stuff is to first not care, second never pin your hopes on one girl, and third be ****y and funny enough to bust her when she pulls this crap. I once had a girl say to me that what would I do if she didn't come over and dance with me later on at some club. I replied simply "Watch" and I turned my back to her danced with some other girl. It took about 3 minutes before she came over pulled me away and gave it her all on the floor. If some girl is throughing tests out left and right forget her she is immature.(If you noticed I talk about women and girls, women are mature and fun to date, girls are like your 18 to 23 group who are immature and need a good reality check.) No matter what anyone says and no matter what lines are moves they pawn on you, when you get tested never, ever let her catch you flat on your feet.
LIFE ISN'T FAIR
Yeah there are going to be times when the woman you want slips through your fingers, you goof and she bails, this will happen especially in the begining. But always, always act like a DJ. That means be proud, handle whatever happens with diginity and say "Hell to that." and move on. If she is to stupid to see your qualities right now, then she didn't even deserve that first chance you so kindly gave her. But don't worry ever since I became a DJ the women in my past that I let go or let me go have always tried to get back into my life at some point. Of course they never do...because life just isn't fair
-Grey Fox
