How to Be More Attractive In All Aspects (Male Action Plan/MAP)

[Money & Muscle]

So I made a comment in another thread that will probably be lost forever, as it has 9 pages of replies. I wanted to repost it as it's own thread; whether it belongs in the Hall of Fame or not is up to the mods or whoever - I just want to make sure it has visibility for those who need it. Please move this to another forum if there is a more accurate one for it to be in.

Disclaimer: I am responsible for coming up with approximately 1% of the information below this line; it was ripped straight out of Mindful Attraction Plan (formerly Male Action Plan) by Athol Kay. I'm just writing it in less words, with updates to more accurate information that may or may not have been known at the original time of writing. Anything crossed out is what was originally written, my suggestions in parenthesis next to it.

Male Action Plan

Prioritization: Top to Bottom, Red to Green. (let me know if that doesn't make sense)
Some of these may not apply to you, it's just what was in the book.

1. Physicality and Health -comes first because all your feelings and most of your energy are going to come directly from your own body. If your body is in bad shape, your overall energy and happiness will be low. Notice how everything in your life can be going great, but as soon as you get sick, your energy levels take a dive and you’re miserable.
   1. Exercise
   2. Grain Consumption (no longer applicable)
   3. Substance abuse
   4. Sugar consumption
   5. Processed food consumption
   6. Medications
   7. Medical Care
   8. Find positive friends
   9. Be in shape (Athol Kay has this in green, I believe it should be yellow or red. I'm biased though)
      
   10. Balanced Diet
   11. Fasting (fasting works great for dieting and/or healthy lifestyle, but is not required)
   12. Fresh Air
   13. Supplementation
2. Money and Material Wealth -is second, because money is stored energy and the material items you own all have a heavily influencing effect. These are all real world things with substance.
   1. Wasting Money
   2. Debt
   3. Buying junk
   4. Buying for status
   5. Ignoring broken items
   6. Get rid of clutter
   7. Make more money
   8. Work smart not hard (personally I think both are important, but smart > hard)
   9. Time management
   10. Functional and beautiful things
   11. Emergency fund
   12. Work a positive job
   13. Give/donate from a position of strength
   14. Invest in the marriage - vacations, dates, etc.
3. Displaying High Value -comes after Money and Material Wealth, because Displays of High Value are the style to Money’s substance. You can fake having High Value by acting all confident and ****y, but you can’t fake the ability to actually pay the bills and put food on the table. There’s just something about watching your car being repossessed that trumps you to pretending everything is fine.
   1. Stop displaying low value
      1. Whining, nagging, complaining, and otherwise b*tching
   2. Stop emotional tunnel vision
   3. Stop beta orbiting
   4. Start passing sh*t tests
   5. Maintain your own frame
   6. Learn to parent
   7. Teach “No X until Y”
      
   8. Dress well
   9. Be cool
      1. Being able to demand respect for yourself and get it, while still respecting others.
   10. Be playfully dominant
       1. Being funny, lightly teasing, flirting, smiling, laughing
   11. Lead them/her somewhere
   12. Follow somewhere (if not dominant in social position)
   13. Figure out whose in charge (AMOG)
   14. Emphasize masculine/feminine
4. Building Relationship Comfort -trumps your Personality and Preferences, because ultimately most people are self-interested. They want to be assured they will get their needs met before attending to someone else’s. Put another way, people want to build a positive relationship first before really determining to be interested in you in particular. For a couple of weeks you might just be a coffee barista to me, but after that I might learn your name is Janet and you’re in college doing a Master’s degree.
   1. Stop demanding pampering
   2. Stop being lazy
   3. Stop fighting dirty
   4. Stop ignoring people
   5. Apologize for major incidents
   6. Recognize double binds
   7. Find out what they like
   8. Discover the covert contracts
   9. Start passing loyalty tests
   10. Express affection
   11. Say thank you
   12. Have integrity
   13. Most important people have priority
   14. Assume positive intentions
5. Personality and Preferences -
   1. Stop nerfing your personality
   2. Stop fake relaxation
   3. Stop doing things you hate
   4. Stop loving energy vampires
   5. Stop people pleasing
   6. Learn your personality type (Myers-Briggs)
   7. Start putting yourself first
   8. Decide what you want
   9. Control the electronic devices
   10. Do what energizes you
   11. Enjoy the journey
   12. Complete tasks
   13. Pay attention to flow states (the zone)
   14. Quality beats quantity
6. High-Energy Sex -comes last. Before someone wants to jump into a serious relationship and/or bed with you, typically you’ve had to pass all five hurdles before reaching the bedroom. Note that it can happen very quickly if someone has all the goodies lined up already, or it can take some time, but there’s not much getting around having to get five green lights before it all comes together.
   1. Stop blaming them (women) about sex
   2. Stop faking sexual pleasure
   3. Stop outside sexual sources
   4. Stop trying to force it
   5. Discover the 30% that works (kinks)
   6. Work on your sexual fitness
   7. Take turns on pleasing each other
      
   8. Partner commitment
   9. Express yourself
   10. Play all day
   11. Just make a move

Feel free to make any suggestions to change this, it isn't my list and I'd love to hear feedback from the community.

 

[Plinco]

Excellent!

More broadly speaking: reason, purpose and self-esteem.

To some extent, this can go with my topic on emotions.

 

[Reincarnated]

This is one of the most excellent posts I've seen here in a while. Really appreciate the mention of items that don't necessarily intuitively seem important like "ignoring broken items", "fresh air", "control the electronic devices ".

I'm not one for New Year resolutions, but it might be worthwhile to print this post out, and each month during the year, just concentrate making meaningful improvement in one of the items, and see what kind of difference it can make.

 

[TheGrindEqualsHappiness]

Really good list.
For the context of this forum and from mid-forties guy, I would add skincare routine to the list. It's always useful to look ten years younger than you really are.

If you are in your mid twenties, start applying sunscreen daily at least to your face and neck. You will thank yourself twenty years down the road.

 

[Plinco]

If you are in your mid twenties, start applying sunscreen daily at least to your face and neck. You will thank yourself twenty years down the road.

I would recommend eating raw aloe and using a non-harmful sunscreen.

 

[NoBiscuits]

Unpopular opinion, but I used to be really into these types of lists. Their appeal is also their shortcoming. They're too lowest common denominator. They also don't take opportunity cost into account.

I went through years of old journals recently and found that many self improvement goals did not actually improve my life or character. They would kind of just keep me busy in times of bust before I picked myself back up via other means.

If I could make such a list and give it to my 18 year old self in the past, it would include goals like learning C2 level Mandarin, win a chess tournament, acquire 3 letters of recommendation from elite professionals, buy a car as early in life as possible, join at a charity just to learn office politics, learn to type emails fast, publish a book or project that academics can cite, etc.

I would ditch all the stuff about skin care, keeping a house clean, reaching peak physical fitness, mentality, getting fresh air, counting calories, and other such things.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Ahh good old Athol…

The MMSL primer is what started me onto
Red pill ideology. It was a 300+ page pdf comprised of Athol’s blog posts pre-2010 or so. I was in a bed-dead marriage and miserable.

I have a copy of the original free PDF if anyone is interested, this was well before RP became mainstreamed.

p.s. the first version was free, which is the version I’m offering. Athol decided to monetize it at a later date, but that does not preclude the free version or make it piracy. Eventually his drive to monetization destroyed the MMSL forum which was a vibrant male only space, he let women start posting openly with within a very short period caused the forum to become worthless, at caused it to collapse.

 

[Plinco]

Ahh good old Athol…

The MMSL primer is what started me onto
Red pill ideology. It was a 300+ page pdf comprised of Athol’s blog posts pre-2010 or so. I was in a bed-dead marriage and miserable.

I have a copy of the original free PDF if anyone is interested, this was well before RP became mainstreamed.

p.s. the first version was free, which is the version I’m offering. Athol decided to monetize it at a later date, but that does not preclude the free version or make it piracy. Eventually his drive to monetization destroyed the MMSL forum which was a vibrant male only space, he let women start posting openly with within a very short period caused the forum to become worthless, at caused it to collapse.

I would appreciate it if you posted that information. Or I suppose I could look it up.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I would appreciate it if you posted that information. Or I suppose I could look it up.

Dm me I’ll hook you up.

 

[TheGrindEqualsHappiness]

They're too lowest common denominator. They also don't take opportunity cost into account.

I agree and disagree.

You average joe is obese, has less than thousand bucks emergency fund and has piles of bad debt.
So for him getting to green on this list is great success.

On the other hand this list is approximation for getting yourself more attractive. This isn't list of how to live your life. Everyone should of course use their own thinking on how to live their life, not rely from some guy from internet to do decisions for them.

I would put "get financial freedom" to my personal wealth -list and and make sure that I'm on road to it, before putting huge amount of effort to DHV-stuff. But that list wouldn't optimize "attractive'-part anymore.

Also everyone does their own decisions from the information they have on the moment. If I could give my young self advice I would first instruct him to mine bunch of bitcoins when he heard about it for the first time Or buy TSLA for couple of bucks a piece.

 

[Ricky]

Great post. I read athol kays book the married man sex life primer.

Is the update the Mindful attraction plan basically the same thing?

I think this is the best post we can to kick off a new year. Lets make all sorts of improvements.

 

[Ricky]

I think physicality and health could also include things to improve our look.
Teeth whitening, better dressing.. making sure your body and breath don't stink. It's amazing how many guys don't have
these basics covered. hell at times i was one of them. Guilty of coffee break fairly often.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Is the update the Mindful attraction plan basically the same thing?

Yes and no.

MAP makes you more attractive to everyone. MMSLP is only for how you interact with LTR/Spouses.

Both have value in their own ways, but I think MMSLP is more a "tips and tricks" catalogue vs MAP which is intended to just make you a better/happier/more attractive person.
Disclaimer: I skimmed most of MAP because it was getting into some woo-woo stuff that I just don't care for.