How to be Alpha

[AlexLefty]

It seems that many things in this world are common sense, until we stumble upon some guy somewhere that invented a name and formal definition for it. I've taken some theories from human communication and (briefly) applied them to pick up.

Within communication there is an Encoder and a Decoder. The encoder sends the message, and the decoder receives it. Now think of the encoder as having a little thought bubble over his head titled: Shared Meaning. The point of the interaction is to get the Shared Meaning (the picture in the encoder's thought bubble) to be exactly the same in the decoder's thought bubble. So the encoder has an idea, a specific vision in his head of what he wants to communicate, and he's trying to get the decoder to see that same vision in his own head.

So I'm thinking that in order to be alpha, you have to be able to create very CLEAR shared meaning. That is, make the other person see what you're seeing.

So delving deeper...understand in this context the definition of Fantasy.

Fantasy – The creative and imaginative interpretation of events that fulfills a psychological or rhetorical need.

Basically, it seems that fantasy is the same thing as shared meaning. Get a fvcking thought into someone elses head that is the same as yours. BUT, the thought has to be meaningful, it has to fulfill a psychological need. Which we'll assume to be most basically...good feelings!

Symbolic Convergence – The linguistic process by which group members develop a sense of community or closeness; cohesiveness, unity, solidarity.

So, you use symbolic convergence (talking) to get your fantasy across to other people and spread it around so that they see the same thing as you and you all connect on the same page. The theory is that when you think and feel something great, and can then get other people to feel it, they will associate that good feeling with you.

Rhetorical Vision – A composite drama that catches up multiple groups of people into a common symbolic reality ( so when they share a fantasy, their view of social reality is rhetorical vision). If every person's thought bubble is the same, then it is said that they are all sharing the same rhetorical vision.

So the process goes something like this:
*You are the Encoder to a group
*You develop a Shared Meaning, a Fantasy
*You share that Fantasy through Symbolic Convergence (talking)
*Through Symbolic Convergence the group enters into a Rhetorical Vision (a shared idea of a common thought)
*You become the Alpha for introducing and providing that Rhetorical Vision that has given the group good feelings and discussion.

In Conclusion:
By sharing fantasies with symbolic convergence, a collection of individuals is transformed into a cohesive group, connected through a rhetorical vision. If you are the one responsible for creating the rhetorical vision, you will be perceived as the ALPHA.

---

However, I'm stumped as to what is the most powerful (most influential) rhetorical vision. Is it past, or present? In other words, is it better to introduce a completely new, and exciting idea, or draw upon past experiences of good feelings and reintroduce them to the group? Which one will have a more powerful effect?

 

[AlexLefty]

Once it is decided which is the most powerful rhetorical vision, we then need to figure out specifically HOW to use symbolic convergence to create a rhetorical vision.

 

[AlexLefty]

Also, this doesn't take into account body language, self-perception etc. So pretty vague, but something that can be expanded upon

 

[Mindgamez]

Interesting, though I don't see why you need to use complicated words. Just call it talking instead... no?

 

[Sneevox]

To me, society only has betas and alphas.

The alpha leads, works, aspires, and is happy on his own.

The female betas look to find an alpha so that they can be an omega, and lead a pack with him, and the male betas look to the female betas (or alphas, if they are gay) so that they can reproduce.
When female and male betas breed, they usually produce pack runts.

Did I say anything about the alpha looking for an omega?

Namaste.

 

[Gripped]

Sneevox
Do you believe this is down to nature or nurture?

 

[ScottMustaine]

Are you guys always that much retarded ?

Humans have evolved way too much to be classified as animals 'alpha' and 'beta' .


What everyone loves is to see some person being aspired and working hard to achieve those dreams.

Stop philosophy , it's not good at this point. Look at the mature men, did they **** around much about this ? No. Trial and error.

Go.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Go.

After you.

 

[Brighty]

After you.

Why wait for some stranger on the internet? Go for it.

 

[Czech]

Are you guys always that much retarded ?

Humans have evolved way too much to be classified as animals 'alpha' and 'beta' .


What everyone loves is to see some person being aspired and working hard to achieve those dreams.

Stop philosophy , it's not good at this point. Look at the mature men, did they **** around much about this ? No. Trial and error.

Go.

Made my day!

Here's an exert from my book:

Among the group of men who dedicate themselves to learning seduction, there are a number of myths. Among these are the “Alpha Male” theory and the “Nice Guy” theory.

The “Alpha Male” theory states that a woman is attracted to a man who is the leader of the tribe. He is the dangerous one who slings women over his shoulders and has a natural aura of supreme confidence.

There is truth and falsehood to this theory. Confidence is an admirable trait. Some men are too confident, and this is actually a turn-off. I’ve come to believe that what women truly admire is a man who is decisive.

Being decisive means that you are capable of bold action. For example, most men (whether they admit it or not) are nervous to approach a beautiful woman for the first time. The men who hesitate to approach never end up talking to her. But the men who approach despite their nervousness overcome their fears and walk away with her number.

Take a risk and you will probably fail. Take a risk 100 times and I guarantee you will succeed.
 
Here are some examples of decisiveness:
- Approaching a girl for the first time. “Hi, how are you?” *big smile*
- Asking for her number. “What’s your number?”
- Asking her out on a date. “Let’s hang out sometime.”
- Asking her name. “Your name is…?”
- Taking the lead, even if you don’t want to:

“What do you want to do tonight, babe?”

“I don’t care, you pick….. *no response* you know what, let’s go rock climbing. I bet that will wake me up! Want to do that with me?

- Letting her take the occasional lead, even when you want to:

“We’ve been doing a lot of things I suggested lately. What would you like to do this weekend?”

For you visual learners out there, picture one car following another car through traffic. If the leading car drives too slowly, the follower will probably become irritated and bored. If the leading car drives too fast, he must slow down, or risk the following car getting lost in traffic.

If you want to be a leader, then lead.

 

[BeDJ]

Why wait for some stranger on the internet? Go for it.

Internet strangers' sloppy seconds?

 

[ScottMustaine]

Made my day!

Here's an exert from my book:

Among the group of men who dedicate themselves to learning seduction, there are a number of myths. Among these are the “Alpha Male” theory and the “Nice Guy” theory.

The “Alpha Male” theory states that a woman is attracted to a man who is the leader of the tribe. He is the dangerous one who slings women over his shoulders and has a natural aura of supreme confidence.

There is truth and falsehood to this theory. Confidence is an admirable trait. Some men are too confident, and this is actually a turn-off. I’ve come to believe that what women truly admire is a man who is decisive.

Being decisive means that you are capable of bold action. For example, most men (whether they admit it or not) are nervous to approach a beautiful woman for the first time. The men who hesitate to approach never end up talking to her. But the men who approach despite their nervousness overcome their fears and walk away with her number.

Take a risk and you will probably fail. Take a risk 100 times and I guarantee you will succeed.
 
Here are some examples of decisiveness:
- Approaching a girl for the first time. “Hi, how are you?” *big smile*
- Asking for her number. “What’s your number?”
- Asking her out on a date. “Let’s hang out sometime.”
- Asking her name. “Your name is…?”
- Taking the lead, even if you don’t want to:

“What do you want to do tonight, babe?”

“I don’t care, you pick….. *no response* you know what, let’s go rock climbing. I bet that will wake me up! Want to do that with me?

- Letting her take the occasional lead, even when you want to:

“We’ve been doing a lot of things I suggested lately. What would you like to do this weekend?”

For you visual learners out there, picture one car following another car through traffic. If the leading car drives too slowly, the follower will probably become irritated and bored. If the leading car drives too fast, he must slow down, or risk the following car getting lost in traffic.

If you want to be a leader, then lead.

Not only mentioning your statement ( with which I almost completely agree ), but it seems that noun lead is probably misused here.


Leading= Leading a project, an ideology , a group of people who abide your orders.


Approaching someone is not leading. It's simply, decision. Which you made, and put into action because you fought your fears.

And yes, people like other people who are working hard for something. Also people like people who are aren't that 'lead' oriented. I've seen bunch of 'alpha' guys,and girls, hanging out with people who simply aren't that much 'alpha' oriented. Neither were they beta. They just had stable lives.( Sleep, study, go out, go back. Repeat )


Whole point is to fight for something that you wish for. If you want to do it, do it. Make sure not to hesitate, if hesitation comes, make some mantra to push you back into the game. That's how I'm doing it.

That whole alpha male , beta male theory seems a bit way to raw.

I'm a lonewolf, yet not a beta either. I don't order people like they are slaves, make compromises. But usually if I want to realize some idea I do it with or without them. I like doing things alone, and being from time to time alone with myself. Not a leader of big pack when going out, but when there are few of us, I usually make decisions because everyone is lazy to make them.

Does this make me ' the alpha' male ? Not really. Not in my mind.


The alpha male would only be the president of country. But looking right now... Most of them are bunch of pussies.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Humans aren't divided into alphas and betas. Most males believe they are alpha on some level.

Decisiveness and leadership are the keys.

 

[Gripped]

Made my day!

Here's an exert from my book:

Among the group of men who dedicate themselves to learning seduction, there are a number of myths. Among these are the “Alpha Male” theory and the “Nice Guy” theory.

The “Alpha Male” theory states that a woman is attracted to a man who is the leader of the tribe. He is the dangerous one who slings women over his shoulders and has a natural aura of supreme confidence.

There is truth and falsehood to this theory. Confidence is an admirable trait. Some men are too confident, and this is actually a turn-off. I’ve come to believe that what women truly admire is a man who is decisive.

Being decisive means that you are capable of bold action. For example, most men (whether they admit it or not) are nervous to approach a beautiful woman for the first time. The men who hesitate to approach never end up talking to her. But the men who approach despite their nervousness overcome their fears and walk away with her number.

Take a risk and you will probably fail. Take a risk 100 times and I guarantee you will succeed.
 
Here are some examples of decisiveness:
- Approaching a girl for the first time. “Hi, how are you?” *big smile*
- Asking for her number. “What’s your number?”
- Asking her out on a date. “Let’s hang out sometime.”
- Asking her name. “Your name is…?”
- Taking the lead, even if you don’t want to:

“What do you want to do tonight, babe?”

“I don’t care, you pick….. *no response* you know what, let’s go rock climbing. I bet that will wake me up! Want to do that with me?

- Letting her take the occasional lead, even when you want to:

“We’ve been doing a lot of things I suggested lately. What would you like to do this weekend?”

For you visual learners out there, picture one car following another car through traffic. If the leading car drives too slowly, the follower will probably become irritated and bored. If the leading car drives too fast, he must slow down, or risk the following car getting lost in traffic.

If you want to be a leader, then lead.

I like the analogy it brings depth to the decisiveness issue rather than "Just make the ****ing decisions"

I would challenge one thing you said and that is about having too much confidence. That is of course true, although I'd like to add that you cannot have too much self-esteem and that too much confidence displayed is in fact a trait of low self-esteem. When people refer to confidence I always see it as a description of someones outward behavior if it is too much or too little then it is a reflection of low self-esteem (being the inner convictions about oneself). What girls look for is high self-esteem which they deduce from the outward persona. I would argue that decisiveness is not simply something that can be learned (although it can i part) but rather a reflection of self-esteem also.