How often do you get flaked on?

[wayword]

Romance is a joke, love doesn't exist, women are creatures without honor or character, and basically everything I wanted in life from the opposite sex is a friggin pipe-dream.

I agree. And men all over America are FINALLY seeing through the Matriarx and RECOGNIZING this! Time to quit feeling sorry for women already, they're sorry POS of their own doing.

Cosmo, and hear about actors becomes their reality. Suddenly it's ok to be like the girls in "sex in the city" or to idolize women who get married for a week and get divorced only to get married again a month later.

Totally agree. Problem is, this is like trying to find a virgin in a wh0rehouse these days... The Matriarx is EVERYWHERE now!

 

[Vulpine]

Or as I like to call it, "taking the red pill"

And as evidenced below, Neo just threw up:

I suppose, good job bumping that thread: it was smelling like burning flesh in here.

I had a hard time thinking that squirrels has been around since '03 and is just now hearing what Morpheus has been saying.

All he needs now is to take a little nap. Some hot chick will bring him breakfast in bed, maybe stroke his hair, and everything will be ok.

Maybe he'll feel better after sharing a drink with Cipher... talk about negative guys who are fed up with the BS! Don't turn into a Cipher, squirrels. What are you going to do? Get re-inserted back into the matrix?

Naw, man, Zion is where the party's at.

 

[squirrels]

LOL...I'm slowly realizing that there is no end to the game...that I'm going to keep getting tested more and more and I have to play harder and harder, until playing the game is like second nature, or I'm going to keep getting shrugged off and walked on.

I just feel awful stupid right now for putting my faith in women...because they're pretty much fleeting. I've got to take control of the whole frame and let them express themselves from a position in my life that *I* choose for them, rather than trying to let them steer their part of the show and thus drift out of line or even out of my life.

Right now, it's very, very hard, and I've been having weekly meltdowns where I just go crazy and get pissed off and start wanting to break things over this. But the more I do, the more I understand, and the easier it gets.

This is all part of a learning process. It's just very, VERY hard to put aside the candy-n-flowers ideals which are ingrained into my head.

I had a hard time thinking that squirrels has been around since '03 and is just now hearing what Morpheus has been saying.

I heard it. It's just at first I didn't want to believe it. I kept trying to bring pieces of the old world into the new one and it just didn't work. There's a difference between hearing something and really, REALLY starting to accept it.

 

[white sox bill]

LOL...I'm slowly realizing that there is no end to the game...that I'm going to keep getting tested more and more and I have to play harder and harder, until playing the game is like second nature, or I'm going to keep getting shrugged off and walked on.

I just feel awful stupid right now for putting my faith in women...because they're pretty much fleeting. I've got to take control of the whole frame and let them express themselves from a position in my life that *I* choose for them, rather than trying to let them steer their part of the show and thus drift out of line or even out of my life.

Right now, it's very, very hard, and I've been having weekly meltdowns where I just go crazy and get pissed off and start wanting to break things over this. But the more I do, the more I understand, and the easier it gets.

This is all part of a learning process. It's just very, VERY hard to put aside the candy-n-flowers ideals which are ingrained into my head.



I heard it. It's just at first I didn't want to believe it. I kept trying to bring pieces of the old world into the new one and it just didn't work. There's a difference between hearing something and really, REALLY starting to accept it.

Better attitude Squirrels....think of practice makes perfect. One girl is merely practice for the next. I feel your pain. I'm 20 yrs older and used to have tail waved at me ALL THE F'N TIME when I was younger. I still have my physique and look mid-30's but I have to adjust my game to keep w/the times. I would just stand there and women usually approached me w/minimal effert on my part. Those days are long gone.

Mind management is the key. Keep busy, keep the mind occupied with productive things. I beleive no matter what others may say, that there ARE nice, faithfull, no games playing girls out there. They get kind of hard to find the older we get. As much as I like it here, a lot of us have issues ourselves, therefore the pesimistic attitudes (ie she's a ho, a flake or whatever).

We all have this self talk going on in our minds, most of it negative in times like this. The challenage is to turn it to a positive one. Have some fun during the dating yrs, I know I did! Like they say: Your attitude determines your altitude" Good luck and keep it positive!
Bill

 

[WestCoaster]

Classic line by White Sox Bill!

Its news when they DON"T flake, seems the older I get, you can count on a flake like the sun setting in the west

This is all you need to know in this thread. The older they get, the flakier they are. There's something about 20-somethings who are spontaneous ... it's all coming clear to me now why older guys date younger women. Hate to say it, but most older women have the same maturity level of the younger women ... but don't have the looks of the younger woman. Given the option, what would you take?

Yes, never met a woman who hasn't flaked. It's part of their genetic make up ... at least in the U.S.

 

[WestCoaster]

Spot on Sheez

... correct, and that's why as Rollo T. says, spin more plates. Once one is dropped, you should have more in the air. A man is only as good as his options -- whether it comes to love, career, or anything else. I repeat this often in my head. If your life depends on ONE job and ONE girl and that one job or one girl doesn't pan out and you have no backup plan, you're freaking sunk.

Women live for the moment as you noted; find the ones who can see beyond their immediate feelings and actually have a future. In the U.S., that's about 1 out of 10,000, to be honest.

 

[Jackman]

drZaius & Jackman, are you saying that you don't set up dates? You just say "I'll call you some time Thursday"?

So you call at 7:30 and she doesn't answer. What then?

If you keep calling, you're desperate. If you stop calling, you stood her up.

It depends. If I'm a few dates in with a girl and I like her, I will plan dates just the same way as you do. But with the new ones, I simply suggest that maybe we can get together on a certain day to do something and leave it at that. I don't plan anything particular to do, especially during warmer months because the options will depend on the day's weather. If they're interested, I just tell them I'll call a certain time on that day and we decide what to do from there right on the phone literally before we meet.

I never have this desperate/stood her up dillema you're talking about, and to be honest I don't see why anyone should these days. Almost all of the girls I call have cell phones, so they pretty much always answer. If they don't answer, they know I called even if I don't leave a message and they call me back.

There's no reason for me to keep calling, hence look desperate. If I make the call then she will know it, hence no reason for her to think I stood her up. All I should have to do is call one time. It's not because that's what alpha males do, it's because of technology. If that one call doesn't work, then there is probably a good reason for it and I don't worry about it.

 

[Phyzzle]

I just tell them I'll call a certain time on that day and we decide what to do from there right on the phone literally before we meet.

Oh! Well that's basically my method. You can suggest a few ideas, and decide later, but you need to know that there IS DEFINITELY a date at that time on that day.

Some guys on this board say "let's get together sometime Thurs.," but then you're doing one of those those "call to confirm" dates, practically begging her to flake. Bad idea.

 

[Phyzzle]

Squirrels: read the Doc Love section on Askmen.com. One of the things he hammers in is that all the physical and deeply emotional intimacy in the world means JACK SQUAT before the 10th date (roughly two months).

You can give her endless orgasms and she can call you the greatest thing since sliced bread, but until you get your TIME in, you don't have a beachead to work with.

I'm betting girls don't flake on you when you manage to keep them around for 2 months. At least, not without dropping a ton of hints that she's sick of you.

 

[MisterAl]

Flaked is part of my daily lexicon

It essentially says that women can't be trusted...AT ALL. Not to return phone calls, not to make dates, not to be interested, not to act on interest when it IS present, NOTHING. They're not even human...I have to run the whole damn show.

This is so true to me right now. I can't even believe the flake factor I'm experiencing right now. Although my game is better than it's ever been and I'm spinning more plates than I ever believed I could, I'm so frustrated with the quality of my plates. It's like my plates have prints of angry clowns on them and are cracked. I look at my plates and I stop and wonder why I'm even spinning at all. Not that their appearances are bad, no, it's that they are crazy, nutty broads who waste my time and are broken, damaged goods.

I just turned my back on my primary decent plate to spin a couple more and when I looked again it was gone, not even pieces of plate on the floor. Gone.

read the Doc Love section on Askmen.com. One of the things he hammers in is that all the physical and deeply emotional intimacy in the world means JACK SQUAT before the 10th date (roughly two months).

I had this great chick. Second time I had her out and back to my place for some naked fun. Everything about this was progressing forward into something bigger. How can I say that her actions and body language were all about I'm not going to flake, at least not unless you fvck up somehow? I haven't heard from her since, she didn't return my call. She had some buyer's remorse. It's unbelievable to me. I keep thinking that my mistake was not calling her for four days afterward. Honestly, I was busy sucking other t!ts, but she was working and I wouldn't have been able to connect anyway.

It's sad that I continue to spin the plates I have left. I have three or four plates spinning. It's kind of blurry I can't really tell. When stuff like this happens I decide that IL cannot even be observed. How can it be? My plates are scary now, all second stringers that I'm going to make do with. I want to smash them all to bits and start over. One of them has the highest IL I've ever seen, real clingy, but how do I know? I obviously cannot know that anymore. It doesn't matter, she proved herself completely sexually inexperienced and unsatisfying when she spent the night. Unteachable, probably. I'm tired of uncovering these clueless, virginal broads that don't even know how to touch it. Why should I put up with that?

Then there is the plate that just spins herself round and round. I haven't touched her in three weeks but she calls me to leave me voice mails about how busy she is at work and to apologize again. She's a nutjob. I wish she'd go away or blow me. Another plate is this panicky, scaredy-cat fruitcake that gives off closed, negative body language but always wants to see me again. I'm going to dust the cobwebs off that ***** the next time I see her cuz I got nothin else to do. I can't believe this chick who was 5th string is my most promising plate right now.

I don't know why I'm typing this all out. This is half therapy and half completely agreeing with squirrels and Phyzzle. It seems that the process gets harder the more I know. The tests seem to escalate with my skill level. I didn't know much of anything when I met previous girlfriends, yet we met and things worked out until they proved themselves to be b!tches. Always. Hmm.

Maybe it's all b!tch prevention. I wish I could pick up the quality of my plates.

 

[Jackman]

Oh! Well that's basically my method. You can suggest a few ideas, and decide later, but you need to know that there IS DEFINITELY a date at that time on that day.

Some guys on this board say "let's get together sometime Thurs.," but then you're doing one of those those "call to confirm" dates, practically begging her to flake. Bad idea.

Phyzzle, let me put it this way: my approach is always very circumstantial. When we're talking about a particular type of women that possess that trifecta of beauty, intellect and fun, we certainly do not differ on out approaches to set up a definite date. I will make the effort, even in my roundabout way, to set up something solid.

However, you know just as well as I do that not all women are of this caliber.
Being a man that can set up opportunities to get out and date regularly, I often find that I'm dealing with a greater majority that don't live up to that beautiful blend. They're educated but not so pretty. They're pretty but as dumb as a sack of bricks and so on.

These are the women I often flake on, and I do it not because I have a particular approach, but because the women I meet decide what my approach is going to be by the actions and words they reveal.

Basically, I am only as particular and aggressive as I am intrigued, and I am intrigued by the trifecta. I have no issues with flaking on a hottie if she's retarded and so forth, because there's always another woman just as good looking around with a better mind. Opportunity. A lot of guys talk about it around here. That's the difference.

 

[Evan_M]

Another problem with girls flaking is that in general they are looking for the "One". Go back and think about your most involved relationship(s). Remember how the girl was almost constantly beside you, buying you things, having sex with you. If a girl is bending over backwards for you then you can almost be for certain she feels that you are the "One".

Most girls regardless of their feminist natures still want that one guy to spend the rest of their life with. However girls especially the good ones have very high almost unreasonable expectations. Couple that with an abundance of men clamoring for their attention makes them flaky and un-decisive. It gets worse when society and or the media basicially say it's ok to treat men as dogs.

 

[drZaius09]

The reason women do these things is quite simple: they will never be held accountable for it. At least not in this lifetime. Not only will they never be held accountable, but there will never be any repersussions either. No negative consequences whatsoever.

A poster named Alonso (i dont know if he posts here anymore) once said that trying to convince a flake that her behavior is wrong is like telling a criminally-minded person that murder is wrong in a jurisdiction without any laws against it. After all, what has she lost by flaking on you? Chances are nobody else in her life ever noticed or cared. Chances are she's probably already seeing (or has been seeing) at least one other suitor. Do you think he (they) really gives a sh*t that this girl just sent you spiraling into a tail-spin of negativity with her flaky, immature antics? Chances are that even if he knew anything about it (which he most likely doesn't), he still would be so pleased with her increased availablity that he'd never even consider her behavior as a harbinger of future troubles. He would simply erase the history from his conscious mind and continue kissing her ass in exchange for companionship. It's the way of the AFC, for christ sake! Let's not forget that true AFCs still occupy 99% of all habitable land mass on this planet.

Let's say you are dating a girl for several weeks and she disappears. It's not hard to imagine, it happens all the time. Maybe you were starting to "really like" this girl and you've had sex a couple times. Now, it would suggest to me that any man who would be motivated enough to come to this board and post about the girl, or the general phenomena that occurred, is a man with a considerable emotional investment in said girl. This is wherein the real problem lies. The real problem is that SHE has no considerable investment. For her, even the slightest of expenditures provides an immeasurable, completely disproportionate return. She knows that as long as she plays nice once in a while she can keep the average chump satiated and content. The contributions she is expected to make TO YOU are no longer worth the margin. That is the real problem.

The "Real Problem" Continued

The "real problem" is that this IS a real problem for you and not for her. Your portfolio is not diverse as her's is. You have too much invested in one particular stock. Then you come to sosuave.com and everyone tells you to buy lots of different stocks, i.e., "spin more plates." But according to sosuave.com, only WOMEN count as stocks!! Uh oh! Now you truly find the real problem, because the issues discussed above are inherent with every desirable woman you're ever going to meet. The more "plates" you spin, the more flakes and sociopaths you're going to encounter. And the vicious cycle repeats itself again and again and again.

You're spinning the plates round and round, every last focus on keeping them balanced and stealing the show. So much effort this consumes! And no matter how many plates you spin or how beautiful they happen to be, it's still all an act. A plate is utilitarian. It should be resting on a table supporting the things that really sustain your life-- the "food," so to speak. A full buffet makes kitchenware insignificant to a starving man.

 

[RedPill]

You're spinning the plates round and round, every last focus on keeping them balanced and stealing the show. So much effort this consumes! And no matter how many plates you spin or how beautiful they happen to be, it's still all an act. A plate is utilitarian. It should be resting on a table supporting the things that really sustain your life-- the "food," so to speak. A full buffet makes kitchenware insignificant to a starving man.

Interesting analogy. I'm in agreement with you Zaius. There's nothing wrong with spinning plates as a tactic with women, but the plates should never receive priority over the truly important stuff - hobbies, career ambitions, life pursuits. Ironically this outlook makes you more attractive to women. Great men lead meaningful lives, whereas average men are slaves to their sexual urges.

 

[white sox bill]

The reason women do these things is quite simple: they will never be held accountable for it. At least not in this lifetime. Not only will they never be held accountable, but there will never be any repersussions either. No negative consequences whatsoever.

A poster named Alonso (i dont know if he posts here anymore) once said that trying to convince a flake that her behavior is wrong is like telling a criminally-minded person that murder is wrong in a jurisdiction without any laws against it. After all, what has she lost by flaking on you? Chances are nobody else in her life ever noticed or cared. Chances are she's probably already seeing (or has been seeing) at least one other suitor. Do you think he (they) really gives a sh*t that this girl just sent you spiraling into a tail-spin of negativity with her flaky, immature antics? Chances are that even if he knew anything about it (which he most likely doesn't), he still would be so pleased with her increased availablity that he'd never even consider her behavior as a harbinger of future troubles. He would simply erase the history from his conscious mind and continue kissing her ass in exchange for companionship. It's the way of the AFC, for christ sake! Let's not forget that true AFCs still occupy 99% of all habitable land mass on this planet.

Let's say you are dating a girl for several weeks and she disappears. It's not hard to imagine, it happens all the time. Maybe you were starting to "really like" this girl and you've had sex a couple times. Now, it would suggest to me that any man who would be motivated enough to come to this board and post about the girl, or the general phenomena that occurred, is a man with a considerable emotional investment in said girl. This is wherein the real problem lies. The real problem is that SHE has no considerable investment. For her, even the slightest of expenditures provides an immeasurable, completely disproportionate return. She knows that as long as she plays nice once in a while she can keep the average chump satiated and content. The contributions she is expected to make TO YOU are no longer worth the margin. That is the real problem.

The "Real Problem" Continued

The "real problem" is that this IS a real problem for you and not for her. Your portfolio is not diverse as her's is. You have too much invested in one particular stock. Then you come to sosuave.com and everyone tells you to buy lots of different stocks, i.e., "spin more plates." But according to sosuave.com, only WOMEN count as stocks!! Uh oh! Now you truly find the real problem, because the issues discussed above are inherent with every desirable woman you're ever going to meet. The more "plates" you spin, the more flakes and sociopaths you're going to encounter. And the vicious cycle repeats itself again and again and again.

You're spinning the plates round and round, every last focus on keeping them balanced and stealing the show. So much effort this consumes! And no matter how many plates you spin or how beautiful they happen to be, it's still all an act. A plate is utilitarian. It should be resting on a table supporting the things that really sustain your life-- the "food," so to speak. A full buffet makes kitchenware insignificant to a starving man.

Agreed--next time you hook up with someone, keep in mind that she just flaked out on the guy before you, in fact, she more than likely stood him up the very night she did you. A lot of women don't cross thier legs for very long...

 

[drZaius09]

Think about it this way: There are no better "plate spinners" than women. Can we all agree on this? I would hope so...

Moving on, how many attractive women do you know or meet that are totally happy with their lives? I don't know many. In fact, most of the ones I've ever encountered have been whiney, b*tchy, miserable bastards. THIS IS WHY they flake, make immature and irresponsible decisions, and wreak havoc in the lives of those around them. THIS IS WHY WE ALL COME HERE TO POST ABOUT IT!

But how can this be, Dr? Wouldn't it hold true that if their plates were spinning, all would be right with the world? Shouldn't the same hold true for them as it supposedly does for us?

The point is that it doesn't work for either of us, necessarily. These women lead relatively empty lives when they're not busy inflicting social injustices upon the male population. Their plates spin and spin but they have little else to fulfill them. This is very similar to the so-called "DJ" who arms himself with the knowledge to conquer all things vaginal, yet becomes so overwhelmed with grief when flakes begin piling up like a Head & Shoulders commercial.

It all comes down to your mental state. Are you willing to be happy regardless of how many women are interested in your company? No matter how many pretend to be and then disappear? No matter what?

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Troops!



I've found an interesting thing has developed since I started on the DJ/Self Improvement path:

For the past 10 months or so, I've been dating/meeting the widest ranges of women that I've ever had in my life. I've made significant plays for about 60 women so far. They've all ranged in ages, interests, attractiveness, and personalities.

But what have they all had in common?

All of them have FLAKED.

The reasons are various, I'm sure. But I'll never KNOW for sure, because their flaky asses will probably NEVER tell me the whole story, let alone the TRUTH.

But here's something that has ocurred to me recently, and it may serve as a reminder to ease the minds of other guys who have the tendency of being TOO hard on themselves about their failure record with flakes:

Since I have improved myself so much in such a short period of time, my OVERALL attractiveness has skyrocketed. Troops, I suggest to you that ONE reason why a lot of women flake on you is because you have BECOME more "initially" appealing to a much wider range of women.

The more of a good CATCH you are perceived to be by a larger population of women, then the wider your NET becomes for reeling them in. So it would stand to reason that once your initial attractiveness "wears off" in the eyes of women, then they'll start to see you for who you really are inside.

And my experience has taught me that the closer you get to a person, not only do you begin to see THEM more clearly, but you are also forced to see YOURSELF more clearly as well.

And once this happens, the WRONG people for YOU start to self-sabotage the potential relationship because they KNOW deep down that they are either unworthy of you, or incompatible with you.

Once this occurs in the mind of a babe, her interest levels can start to plummet without warning. And her transformation from "Interested chick" to "Biscuit Chick" has begun.


Why do I call her a Biscuit Chick?


Because NOW she has become not only HOT, but FLAKY...





Peace...one day.

 

[d9930380]

I love guys going on about how attractive women have it made and they should go for personality in their men and not looks or money. It's completely hypocitical when they don't look for personality in them. Also the excuse that I'm on the same looks level as them is bull****, good looking men have it made too so if you have problems then you just aren't. There is a reason why these girls are normally called "high maintenace" - stay well away from them, a high class hooker would probably be cheaper and less hassle.

What I hate is alot of guys will **** girls (not date) girls who are much uglier than them. This gives girls the false impression (and therefore seemingly power) that they are on the same looks level and men are just pigs, not true. We just have no respect for girls uglier than us and therefore treat them like ****, where we're good to girls on our level. Basically men and women are the same with this except aren't desparate when it comes to casual sex. When it comes to a relationship, we're more desernable.

 

[d9930380]

Victory unlimited - **** man, you are dead right. I do that with girls when I think they're out of my league too or they wouldn't approve of some of my behaviour and have seen women do it many times. Women also flake when you appear someone you're not. Alot of people here are on their way to changing their lives and therefore can appear more confident than they are, funnier than they are, less nervous than they are. As Chris Rock says "When you're meeting someone for the first time, you aren't meeting them, you're meeting their representative", now he goes on to say that thats the reason why most relationships don't last past a few months. I think with RAFCs, this just happens ALOT quicker. I think the best thing is to not worry about it, if you get "hurt" by a girl who flakes after a few dates then it says more about your issues than anything else. Sometimes it could simply be that she isn't interested in anything serious.