How often can you call, when she doesn't answer the phone?

[ChesterB]

On Wednesday last week I was on a date with that girl.
I tried to call her this Tuesday and Wednesday, but she didn't answer the phone. So I wrote her a text message saying she should call me back on Thursday. She didn't call, but on Friday she sent a message saying "I just read your message - don't use my cell phone very often. How are you?"
I didn't answer yet, but I tried to call her today (Saturday) (caller ID blocked) and -surprise surprise- she didn't answer again. She might guess that it's me calling, b/c she doesn't use the cell often.
I know one shouldn't call too much, but I didn't have contact with her for one and a half weeks now, so I'm afraid, she gets pissed.
So what do you suggest? Calling her again today? Tomorrow? Or send another text message saying "I'm fine, and you? When can I reach you?"

 

[AMF]

It's very simple.

If the chick was interested, she'd go out of her way to MAKE SURE you'd be able to get hold of her.

She hasnt done this.

NEXT.

 

[Eyecandie4ya]

Originally posted by ChesterB
On Wednesday last week I was on a date with that girl.
I tried to call her this Tuesday and Wednesday, but she didn't answer the phone. So I wrote her a text message saying she should call me back on Thursday. She didn't call, but on Friday she sent a message saying "I just read your message - don't use my cell phone very often. How are you?"
I didn't answer yet, but I tried to call her today (Saturday) (caller ID blocked) and -surprise surprise- she didn't answer again. She might guess that it's me calling, b/c she doesn't use the cell often.
I know one shouldn't call too much, but I didn't have contact with her for one and a half weeks now, so I'm afraid, she gets pissed.
So what do you suggest? Calling her again today? Tomorrow? Or send another text message saying "I'm fine, and you? When can I reach you?"

Let it go, my friend. Go to the Tips section and read The Wise Old Tale. Don't be like the dog in the story.

Like AMF stated, if she wanted to have any contact with you she will go out her way only if she was INTERESTED.






PEACE

 

[ChesterB]

Oh boy, chicks! The more I date them, the more confused I get.

 

[AMF]

ChesterB,

We all hear you bro, thats why this sites here, and thats why we're all here.

Women follow a totally unique and confusing system of rules and values. Often, your natural instincts will tell you the exact WRONG thing to do, or to say.

Read the DJ BIBLE if you havent already.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

I agree with AMF to a point.

If the chick was interested, she would make more effort that what she appears to be doing. But, chicks are flakes all the time. She might be playing the game of pursuit just like you. Look what she's already done. You're questioning her motives, you're thinking about her right now, you're wondering what to do next.

The same stuff the DJB teaches, she is doing to you.

In this senerio, I wouldn't give her a HARD nexting. She maybe very interested, but, maybe getting stupid 'play hard to get' advice from Cosmo or YM..blah!

Give her a Soft Next. By soft next, she goes close to the bottom of the list of girls you can call and go out with. Don't comletely cut her out just yet. I've done this in the past, only to find out that I lost countless opportunities because I played the "I'm too righteous card" and the girl thought I was a jerk for Nexting.

However, stop with the calls, stop with the chat, stop with the text messages, stop asking questions. Go out with another girl, have fun, don't let girl one take up all your time. Soon as girl one calls you back..you might be too busy with girls 2, 3, 4 and 5 to notice.

 

[georgie24]

call once 2 times tops!!!! that second phone call can be used to reel in more women

 

[AMF]

Hypnotiq,

To me any distinction between a "soft" and a "hard" NEXT is arbitrary. Either, you call her or you dont.

A tennis game cannot be played if your opponent refuses to return the ball. The balls very much in her court.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Originally posted by AMF
Hypnotiq,

To me any distinction between a "soft" and a "hard" NEXT is arbitrary. Either, you call her or you dont.

A tennis game cannot be played if your opponent refuses to return the ball. The balls very much in her court.

Agree, but, too many guys on this board the last couple of months assume that NEXTING means cutting every last single tie in existance.

Cutting off EVERYTHING is HARD NEXTING. When you see her at a party and ignore her doggishly. That's a hard next. When she calls you and you unconciously have no care about talking to her and hang up. That's a hard next. When she asks you for a date to apologize for not calling sooner and you say NO. That's a hard next.

Soft Nexting in these senerios means that you're still being DJ...however, you are not the one in pursuit. No calls, no overt signs of interest...just remain the cool, calm DJ you are, meaning, you are open to her advances IF they are initiated by her.

Jee'z I sound too technical.

You bring up the tennis analogy. That is right, he should stop playing with this particular partner. She of course isn't interested in this game. But should he give up tennis all together? Of course not. Let's play basketball, baseball, soccer...try different sports, try different women...but always be open to the game of tennis..

 

[ChesterB]

I agree with -HPNOTIQ-.
I'd hardly ever do a "hard" Next. Why should I? I don't profit by it in any way.
Of course I go out with other girls, but I do so anyway ;-)
Besides her playing hard to get it's still possible she really forgot her phone or something.
Always assume the best!

 

[Legend]

i would see how many times i could call her and text message her in a 30 minute time span.

Yeah that is a joke

You need to sit back and let her see what she wants....she knows you like her bro. The ball is in her court, so if she throws it back then the game starts all over.

Be patient and hang out with as many girls as you can when you are starting with a new love interest. I would say after about two weeks if she does'nt contact you it is over.

I know it is hard but relax with the phone calls.....i need to tell myself that sometimes. One time i called this girl twice in one day...guess what? She did'nt call me back. Dont always be so available.

 

[ChesterB]

Originally posted by -HPNOTIQ-
Don't comletely cut her out just yet. I've done this in the past, only to find out that I lost countless opportunities because I played the "I'm too righteous card" and the girl thought I was a jerk for Nexting.

How did you lose these opportunities, HPNOTIQ?
A)By not calling them anymore or
B) by not answering their phone calls, not accepting their invitations, ignoring them?

 

[ChesterB]

OK, so you all suggested me not to call any more.
But I'd like to know why.
I think I already know some answers:
-To avoid looking desperate.
-To "be the price" and make her chase me (I don't think this can be achieved simply by not calling)

But there are also reasons to call:
-Girls love guys who are aggressive, take action.
-There are girls who never call guys, for whatsoever reasons (too shy?).


But I finally want to know:
Does it lower her IL when I call her unsuccessfully or do you suggest this for my sake, so I don't waste my time?