How not to lose the girl after all the hard work?

[pete101]

Ok I seem to do pretty well during the dates and meetings to raise interest level but when it comes to arranging the next meeting either by phone or sms or facebook I seem to ruin all my hard work because I come across as needy/clingy/desperate and I do not know how or why?

I think it might be the fact I am impatient and if I make a call and they don't pick up I get frustrated and try to follow it up like 2 days later.

I do not have many plates being spun at the moment so I am victim of being caught in oneitis very easily. I do approaches but get very few if any successes so when I do have one it's hard for me to sit back, the only way i've dealt with it in the past is to be lucky enough to have like 3-4 at the time so I would just alternate them.

But I was in that situation last week where I had 3 and suddenly now I've lost 2 and getting oneitis with my last option.. It's like a sinking ship and I can't help the decline. I've tried to get more options but no success..

 

[Entropy4]

It's hard to tell without knowing exactly how you're asking to hang out with them or to talk to them. If it's within the first few weeks of meeting a chick, you should wait 2-3 days before contacting them again.

Also, make sure you're not persuading or "begging" her to hang out wtih you, like, "Hey, I had a great time. I'd really love to see you again. Maybe we could do dinner on Friday, what do you think?"

That comes across as weak and desperate. You need to frame everything as an offer, like:

"Hey, I'm going to this art show Friday, there's food and free drinks. You should come out."

That's it. Ball's in her court.

 

[Sandow]

bump

Girls seem to like guys with a lot of patience. Not every girl, but I would say the majority of them do. If you take things slow and convince her that you have a life, she'll eventually start contacting you more. From there on, then its ok to start calling more/hanging out. i'm making it sound easy, but it's not, and thats what makes this game so frustrating at times. Basically, dont rush into anything cause you may scare her off. You may think she'll become disinterested if you dont keep contacting her, but trust me, girls work differently and will still be interested. Whatever you do, don't ever flip out, once you do, its game over.

 

[Mavrick]

Stop giving a sh!t. Completely quit caring. Women don't want men that let what they do rule over them. If they don't call you back or call you at all, fvck it. Go do something. Worry about people who do call and not the ones that don't. They aren't worth worrying about. Take your time. Take as much time as you can pursuing a woman and do not make it an emergency.

If you lose options, go get more. Don't be so lazy to rely on the one or two you have because you really can't expect anything from them. You're better off without expectations. Change your perception and change your expectations.

 

[pete101]

yeah this is all sound advice, but i am trying to get more options but i am stuck in a rut where i am doing loads of approaches and getting no return which in turn seems to hurt my confidence with the few that i do currently have..

if i am getting knocked back every single time i am approaching how do i get over this swiftly?

i am down to my last option and i think i may have LJBF'd myself with my weak phone convos so we'll see. this time last week i had 3-4 options now i potentially have none..

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

bump

Girls seem to like guys with a lot of patience. Not every girl, but I would say the majority of them do. If you take things slow and convince her that you have a life, she'll eventually start contacting you more. From there on, then its ok to start calling more/hanging out. i'm making it sound easy, but it's not, and thats what makes this game so frustrating at times. Basically, dont rush into anything cause you may scare her off. You may think she'll become disinterested if you dont keep contacting her, but trust me, girls work differently and will still be interested. Whatever you do, don't ever flip out, once you do, its game over.

This is true as hell. I went out with this girl twice, and I didn't get very far. We just kissed a few times. I didn't think she was that into me. So then I met another girl and forgot about the first one. After a week or two this first girl won't leave me alone. She is calling and messaging every other day wanting me to chase her. But I kinda lost interest in her.