How not to blow money on a chick...?

[Jin]

Ok.. going out tom. with this girl... maybe to the movies or whatever...

and about not spending money on a chick when your first getting to know her and all that.... how do you not pay for stuff..?

I know it sounds weird but if you go up to a ticket window...? what do you say..? one ticket please and hope she'll get the hint..? or do you tell her shes payin for herself before when you call her..?

just curious...

Best,

Jin

 

[HuuBinh]

You should have handled that situation prior to buying the tickets. You could tell her to buy the tickets and you buy popcorn. If she owes anything, even if its minor, coment on it and tell her now is a good to make it up to you.

 

[Paid Laid & Made]

Yeah, I completely agree. Buy the popcorn or the tickets and make her pay for other thing.

 

[Jin]

no, no.. we havn't gone out yet... this will be our first date together...

ok... so I tell her shes paying her way... how would I phrase that..?

I know this sounds retarded and elementry but I don't want to call her, invite her to the movies and say "Hey bring some cash to buy your ticket ok...."

I dunno... sound kinda @sshol-ish to me...

any tips on how to let her know shes paying her own way without pissing her off...? lol

Best,

Jin

 

[Legend]

dude just pay for the sh$t man......what the hell is $30 anyway? C'mon man...you will look cheap. My friend always gets first dates but never gets second ones. I think one of the reasons is because he has them pay for themselves.

If you asked her...than you pay.

 

[shyguy]

going out tommorow

you asked her out? pay for you and her to go out, dont be cheap. Im not saying that in a mean way, but any first date i ever had, i always paid.

Now this is what is most likely to happen. when u go to the movies and go up to the ticket both, I guarentee she will be already in the pocket book getting cash out. Now if u have a little extra cash i would say no I dont mind paying for the movies. Make it a clean phrase , dont just say no ill pay. Say something like " I dont mind paying this time, Or i dont mind paying for this movie ticket etc. this will show ur not cheap, but also let her know ur not going be shelling out dough.

if she insists she pays, let her then. But dont go to the ticket window and say one ticket please, that is totally rude and un called for!

 

[Jin]

yeah thats what I think as well.. even though it sux that a guy is expected to pay.. damn society!! lol

no worries guys...

thanx for the replies anyways

Best,

Jin

addendum-

thats an excellent tip shy guy! I like that.. thank you

and Francisco- I agree...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It's your first date and you choose to go someplace that is a notorious money pit where conversation is damn near impossible... The "I buy the tickets, you buy the snacks" is fine if the two of you have established something together, but on a first date a movie is pretty AFC.

 

[brod716]

I agree with the above guys, the man must pay, at least at the beginning... It's chivalrous. If you can't afford it, do something which will cost less, and in any case, a movie for a first date is totally wrong. If she offers to pay for herself, however, don't be c0cky, let her. After one or two dates you'll see that if she expects you to always pay, well then, you may start hints, awkward pauses and/or both. However with my current gf, I pretty much always paid, just because we're students, but my parents help me out and hers don't. It bothered me at the beginning, but then I realized that if I wouldn't pay, we wouldn't go out, so I ate it up. Now it's a little better since she started working and instead of paying when we go out she buys me nice clothes from Gap

 

[becker]

Originally posted by Legend
dude just pay for the sh$t man......what the hell is $30 anyway? C'mon man...you will look cheap. My friend always gets first dates but never gets second ones. I think one of the reasons is because he has them pay for themselves.

If you asked her...than you pay.

I agree completely with Legend here. There is absolutely nothing wrong with paying on the first date. To me, it's even difficult to not pay on the second date. The guy has to pay, and if he doesn't, he's either cheap or just a total loser. Either way, you don't win any points. Anyone who gives some line like "oh, she should like you for you and not your money" better go on a few more dates.

It's damn near impossible to weasel your way out of paying on the first date without coming out of it looking like a retard. Don't be cheap, if she's worth asking out, hopefully she's worth shelling out some cash for, otherwise stay home and whack off.

Once things get serious between you two though, then it will be more and more comfortable not to shell out money for everything. A girl I know had a BF who didn't pay for everything, but that's because they were going out for 4 years already, so at that point, there's some unwritten understanding that the guy doesn't have to be Mr. Moneybags.

 

[FitnessGuy]

I would just pay especially on the first date.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

So let me get this straight; the majority of you DJs feel it's alright to pay for the first date. Consider this; let's say that your skills are on high and you meet 3 or more different women each week who would like to go out with you. These are all HBs that you are interested in. Are you saying that you would actually spend $200 per week (conservatively) to go out on a first date with each of these women?

 

[Oxide]

omg, i cant believe im reading this..

im totally wiht fran here (what up mn boy )

First off, movie is totally overplayed, and u cant get to know the real her. You wont know if she is worth spending sometime with, u wont know if she is a total ***** u hate...

Go to park, go to a gym, go for a bike ride. MAKE HER PAY FOR HER ****. u arent dating, u are getting to know her better, u arent obligated to pay for ****.


This is what i say " Hey, u got money?" "Yes" "Good". That's it. she gets the hint.


Jesus chirst, guys, seriously.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Oxide
omg, i cant believe im reading this..

im totally wiht fran here (what up mn boy )

First off, movie is totally overplayed, and u cant get to know the real her. You wont know if she is worth spending sometime with, u wont know if she is a total ***** u hate...

Go to park, go to a gym, go for a bike ride. MAKE HER PAY FOR HER ****. u arent dating, u are getting to know her better, u arent obligated to pay for ****.


This is what i say " Hey, u got money?" "Yes" "Good". That's it. she gets the hint.


Jesus chirst, guys, seriously.

I was hoping someone was feeling what I was saying (tnx Oxide). I guess paying would work if you have one-itis but come on, paying for the first date is VERY AFC! The saddest thing is that it takes a couple of Minnesotans to point this out to you guys!!!



Y'know, the rate of return on a $20 hooker is usually higher!!!

 

[Thoroughbred]

I agree with Oxide here.

Even if you have the money, I think you should get women to spend money on you. The more money they spend the better in my book.

 

[Oxide]

franc knows EVERYTHING about hookers!

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Ok all HB's who are ACTUALLY HB's will respect you MORE if you make them pay for their own **** in the beginning!! You 2 aren't a couple, you aren't even dating because you are qualifying eachother. And yes its as easy as stepping in line first or letting her go first and she'll get the hint.

Legend: If your friend always gets first dates, but can't get a second its has NOTHING to do with him making them pay and EVERYTHING to do with him not being able to spark a higher level of attraction. If attraction was created by money, then only rich people would get laid.

I think a lot of you have this whole situation backwards. My take on it, is in the beginning(first few get togethers) you, the DJ, should be qualifying the girl. Seeing if she's worthy of spending more time with and getting to know better. At this stage, the 2 of you are nothing more than friends. If you went out with your buddy to a movie, would you pay for him because you suggested going to the movie?? Exactly. Once you've established the fact that you 2 are dating and being intimate with eachother then its ok to pay for her as long as she pays for something as well. All this chivalrious bull**** is waaaay overhyped movie lingo. Not saying that paying every once in a while is bad, but it IS a bad idea in the beginning. The girl will think your trying to buy her attention and she catergorizes this behavior with that of a wussy!! And you all know girls are NOT attracted to wussies. Even if you act Alpha the whole night, she'll be more likely to find this as an act because of your "chivalrious" behavior.


Don't pay, don't even bring it up, just get in line first or after her and let it take care of itself.



PIMP

 

[fm2]

I think the stupidest thing is when each of you pay for something, say movie tickets. It looks retarded, and it's just plain inefficient.

If I asked her out, I don't mind paying for whatever, but if she offers to pay I'll just say "I have this, but you can buy me a drink." That's what I did, at a comedy club, on the first time out with what is now my GF.

It is hard, though, to let them pay for anything just due to the societal conditioning we've all grown up with. But if you suck it up and let her pay for some things it's better in the long run for you. I think a girl feels more equal and independant, if she pays for some things, and will both respect you and feel respected for it.

 

[PlayerinTraining]

Here is my take...

I agree with those who advise having her pay for herself.

If a chick is really attracted to you, she may test you by calling you cheap, but if you show her that you don't really care what she thinks, that only works to your advantage.

Example: A friend and I were out last night with 2 women in the 8+ range. Sadly, the chick I met turned into a f*cking lunatic, but that is a story for another time.

My friend is very outgoing and friendly, and has been having more success with women. Of course, he doesn't go out of his way to pay for them.

Anyway, I leave my friend so he can be with this woman, who is definitely 8+ on the looks scale.

When they are alone, she says "You know, you shouldn't be so cheap with women."

He laughs and her and just says he doesn't really need to spend money on women he doesn't know very well in order to keep them around.

Of course, she is all over him later on in the evening, despite the fact she paid her own way the whole night--drinks, cover charges, etc.

I've had similar experiences.

IMHO, it is ok to spend A LITTLE cash, like you would if you were haning out with a friend--to spread some goodwill. Something like $10-$15 is plenty.

But if you take this too far, and get her to expect you to provide for everything, you will become a "provider male" in her eyes and she will use every trick in the book to get more out of you.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

First of all, yeah, pay for her ticket, don't be cheap. If you are going to the movies, then it should be because you already have some good rapport with her, already had a date with her where you could actually talk and get to know eachother good. The screenin' date will tell you wether you want to invest in seeing this girl, and wether or not she's a gold digger, etc.

Francisco D, no, you won't be spending $200 a week going out everynite, that's ridiculous. you get creative and unique. That is exactly why you don't take first dates to the movies. You screen 'em first, then keep seeing the better prospects.

I sugest you find something else to do. She will enjoy the evening more if you don't go to the movies, and it will most likely want her to go out with you again. There are tons of things you can do on a first date. I suggest you do a search or check out my post on the tips forum:

"ACTION DATE IDEAS"