How much of getting a girlfriend is chemistry vs. game?

[PianoGuy33]

Okay, so everyone please share your advice and personal stories, but I'm a 21 year old college kid. I've had two serious relationships, each that started with absolutely no effort on my part, they felt natural. However, 1 of these relationships was with a BPD chick, so that dosn't really count. My other serious relatinoship was a girl who is not that hot, and my standards have raised since then. Therefore, I have never had a serious relationship with a girl who is beautiful and mentally stable. I don't really seem to have that much chemistry with any hot chicks, is that normal? Or is it more about gaming a girl up to where you and her feel comfortable around eachother, and then the chemistry will come through time?


For example, I went out to this bar with some buddies of myne and three women. Two were very hot. My buddy was goin for one, and that left me and my other really drunk friend to this other girl. But this other very hot girl just felt so awkward. Not because I like her and she makes me nervous, but she just seems so surface level shallow, like she's never had a deep thought in her entire life. Then sometimes I would say things, and she would laugh at them she thought what I said was wierd. I just ended the night feeling like, wtf was that, why is that girl so awkward to talk to. I guess I'm just frusterated.


The type of woman I want is kind gentle caring compassionate, intellectual, motherly etc. My question is, do women reveal these traits later on after you have gotten to know them, or do a lot of hot women just not have these traits?


I know this post is kind of ranty and my applogies for that. I Just want to read some discussion about this.

 

[namthebabe]

Both.

PUA stresses on psychology, but that's only one part. There has to be looks, physical attraction, whatever one wants to call it in the mix too.

 

[betheman]

Chemistry = attraction, attraction can be increased but if its not there you cant fabricate it. you can have the best game in the world but if your not attractive to the other person your going nowhere.
you can be attractive and have zero game and have more success

 

[ARrocket]

Attraction gets you in the door, game keeps you there, and chemistry makes you want to stay there.

I've dated girls I don't have a ton of chemistry with - from my end. The last one was highly interested in me, but I just didn't enjoy being around her that much. So it didn't last too long. Never agreed to being exclusive, even though she wanted it. Probably why it ended.

I'm currently seeing 3 girls, and 2 of them seem to have high interest. It is my game that has done this, plus they find me attractive. But with Girl 1 I don't feel much of a spark, and so I know nothing serious will come of it. I'll just keep banging her as long as I can.

With Girl 2, there's chemistry as well. I enjoy spending time with her, ON TOP of being attracted to her. And that is where a good relationship can come from.