How many pathetic friends do you have?...oh and hi

[Mister Gray]

Been browsing the site for a while now and figured I'd actually post something for once

So back to my question....You ever get so dulled out by the the crowd you hang out with? I have to admit that I think I'm the only one of my friends who actually has a strong desire to improve themselves from physically, mentally, socially etc.

I was out at the greatest bar in my town (Blacksburg VA) with gorgeous women all around and within my group of friends I was the ONLY one who wanted to venture into the crowd>

So tell me, how do some of you guys deal with being a loner with the crowd:box:

 

[PapiChulo]

I stay away from pathetic, dumb,weak people. You only need a small circle of friends (real friends) to be just fine. I ve learned that sometimes it's better be on your own if you know what you want from life and not let other people interfere with it. Sounds selfish? No doubt. Apart from that I also consider myself a fairly extroverted and outgoing person.

 

[The Piano Master]

I'm not going to lie, it can be tough man. With some of my friends, it can feel like babysitting. But you just have to push forward.

 

[The Piano Master]

Oh, and btw, welcome to susuave.

 

[Dannyrt34]

I lost all respect for my one friend today when we went mountain biking. He rigged his cell phone up on his bike so he could stay on the phone with his girl for more than half the trip. I was kinda disgusted. So much for having a man adventure.

 

[Real Talk]

I lost all respect for my one friend today when we went mountain biking. He rigged his cell phone up on his bike so he could stay on the phone with his girl for more than half the trip. I was kinda disgusted. So much for having a man adventure.

I've been on both sides of this fence. My homeboy used to do stuff like this and I would feel just like you did, but then i got a girlfriend of my own and I find myself being on the phone with her a lot too. It's really hard to comprehend until you're in the position he is in

Also, some of my friends were kind of timid with girls, but it wasn't a dabilitating social ineptness. I'd just bring a girl over and get the ball rolling, and everyone would open up and have a good time after the first steps were made on my part. There is a such thing as a good dude who has your back but is still shy around girls...don't hold it against them.

Sometimes from reading these posts about "alpha" this or "beta" that or "Is this song AFC" or "my friends are pathetic" etc. makes me think that some people here have a very uptight/misguided social approach. Just chill out and enjoy yourself, seriously. If you can't pick up girls with them then sarge on your own (or find another group to sarge with) and chill with them for other things. They are your friends anyway. It shouldn't be all about pick up chicks with them.

Once you reach a certain level you realize that worrying about how the people around you are going about their business doesn't help you in any way. I suggest that some of the posters above heed this :yes:

 

[Chromeo]

dont get me wrong, my boys have my back, but they're all haters, and its really debilitated my social growth since highschool.

Me: Yo so and so is having a party, this hot chick and this hot chick are gonna be there
H.S. Buddy: So and So is a douche bag and hot chick is a b!tch
Me: So lets go and have some fun
H.S. Buddy: Nah that sh!ts gonna be lame

proceded to drink in a circle of 10 people with the average looking women(who are good friends and i love but damn...) we hung out with.

Me: Yo lets go to this bar
College buddy: That bar is full of drunk meat heads
Me: Who cares lets just go get some beer
College buddy: Nah I hate that place, I dont want to go

You just need to have situational friends. Your one buddy you guys love to smoke doobies but hates goin to the hot spot bar. So make some friends that love the hot spot bar and only call your other buddy to smoke doobies. Where you get in trouble is when you feel obligated to hang out with your tight knit group of friends all the time and forever.

 

[Credos]

Did you know that it's a know true fact that people mostly tend to attract people who have simular characters as them?

Maybe you should first improve yourself, then look for new friends...

 

[kingsam]

I lost all respect for my one friend today when we went mountain biking. He rigged his cell phone up on his bike so he could stay on the phone with his girl for more than half the trip. I was kinda disgusted. So much for having a man adventure.

I've been on both sides of this fence. My homeboy used to do stuff like this and I would feel just like you did, but then i got a girlfriend of my own and I find myself being on the phone with her a lot too. It's really hard to comprehend until you're in the position he is in

the boy talking to his GF on the bikle is whipped big time, under the thumb...
- its a guys cycle trip so its rude to his buddy
- its not like he wont be seeing his GF soon
- if he that urgently needs to talk to his GF, he shouldnt be cycling then....
- you need time away from your GF

 

[Iceberg]

Also, some of my friends were kind of timid with girls, but it wasn't a dabilitating social ineptness. I'd just bring a girl over and get the ball rolling, and everyone would open up and have a good time after the first steps were made on my part. There is a such thing as a good dude who has your back but is still shy around girls...don't hold it against them.

I wouldn't turn my back on a friend for being shy. But I find that when your shy friends see YOU getting better with girls, they'll often start criticizing you. That's when I turn my back on the shy friend. It's one thing to have different interests...it's another thing to criticize you for growing balls and trying to improve your life.

Sometimes from reading these posts about "alpha" this or "beta" that or "Is this song AFC" or "my friends are pathetic" etc. makes me think that some people here have a very uptight/misguided social approach. Just chill out and enjoy yourself, seriously. If you can't pick up girls with them then sarge on your own (or find another group to sarge with) and chill with them for other things. They are your friends anyway. It shouldn't be all about pick up chicks with them.

I hate the "alpha" talk too. People worry too much about labels here...you are who you are. The goal is to improve upon it. We all can't be Teddy Roosevelt.

But once again, in my experience it's not about having shy friends. It's about having friends who aren't improving themselves. Mediocrity breeds mediocrity. I find that average people tend to hang in groups, and that ambitious people hang in groups. You probably won't see Donald Trump kicking back with a Miller Lite in his old buddy's rowhome in Kansas City.

If your shy friends say "Hey, Real Talk is out there talking to girls, working out, doing big things in life....I wanna jump in on that." That's great. But once you start having more an more successes in life, you'll find it hard to relate to your friends. Not ALL of them. You'll always relate to your closest friends...but the other 70%...probably not. I notice that when I talk to my old buddies about success stories with girls or at my job, they just kinda keep sipping their beer and switching to baseball talk. No one wants to hear it. It seems like resentment.

 

[Real Talk]

the boy talking to his GF on the bikle is whipped big time, under the thumb...
- its a guys cycle trip so its rude to his buddy
- its not like he wont be seeing his GF soon
- if he that urgently needs to talk to his GF, he shouldnt be cycling then....
- you need time away from your GF

Okay, after reading these circumstances I understand the situation better. Yeah the guy is probably whipped.

I still can't place much fault in the guy, unless his buddy told him a to hang up so they can enjoy the ride. It's another matter altogether if he didn't say anything and just went on here to whine about it

 

[Mister Gray]

Did you know that it's a know true fact that people mostly tend to attract people who have simular characters as them?

Maybe you should first improve yourself, then look for new friends...

If I argued that we aren't alike in some ways I would be a flat out liar. My roomate is a few years older than me but reminds me alot of the way I use to act in my early high school years (overly timid, "outcast" if you will). I relate to him on that front but unlike him I strive to better myself at any social atmosphere.

Like last night, he's a bouncer at this amazing bar with all kinds of attractive women working there and some other pretty cool people. A lot of people had just got off work and were haniging out on the patio outside wit ha few bartenders from some other bars. I say to him

"Hey who's all that?" Some people I work with and some bartenders from downtown "Sweet, introduce me" Nah I'm good "What? we're just sitting here man lets ****ing mingle!" If they want to talk to me I'll say something

I proceed to go inside and try and find some people on my own. Not great success but hey, I tried.

I'm not at a level where I can go out myself and have a great time with nothing but strangers, but I still try at least. More of a rant if anything :rock:

 

[Mister Gray]

dont get me wrong, my boys have my back, but they're all haters, and its really debilitated my social growth since highschool.

Me: Yo so and so is having a party, this hot chick and this hot chick are gonna be there
H.S. Buddy: So and So is a douche bag and hot chick is a b!tch
Me: So lets go and have some fun
H.S. Buddy: Nah that sh!ts gonna be lame

proceded to drink in a circle of 10 people with the average looking women(who are good friends and i love but damn...) we hung out with.

Me: Yo lets go to this bar
College buddy: That bar is full of drunk meat heads
Me: Who cares lets just go get some beer
College buddy: Nah I hate that place, I dont want to go

You just need to have situational friends. Your one buddy you guys love to smoke doobies but hates goin to the hot spot bar. So make some friends that love the hot spot bar and only call your other buddy to smoke doobies. Where you get in trouble is when you feel obligated to hang out with your tight knit group of friends all the time and forever.

That **** seems far too familiar :crackup:

 

[Dannyrt34]

Okay, after reading these circumstances I understand the situation better. Yeah the guy is probably whipped.

I still can't place much fault in the guy, unless his buddy told him a to hang up so they can enjoy the ride. It's another matter altogether if he didn't say anything and just went on here to whine about it

Not whining. If someone asks something and I have a good example I'm going to provide it. Oh to the answer the OP's question. Guess my answer is 1. I do have a shy friend but he's fun as hell to hang out with when it's just the guys.