Teen Spirit
Banned
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2004
- Messages
- 164
- Reaction score
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A little while ago, my ex finally convinced me to meet her ex-boyfriend of 3 years. They have been friends since high school, dated through college, and broke up in November but are still good friends. So I agree, if I can wear a wifebeater, I tell her. She obliged.
So we roll up to Richard’s house. Holy f**k this guy was loaded. No wonder she dated him. I mean, I have my own place and a BMW but this cat must be swimming in dough. I didn’t expect this but shook it off. Richard answers the door in a Donovan McNabb jersey, with what appeared to be 12” biceps peeking out. First he greeted Jen (my girl) and then he saw me. Though being a few inches taller than me, it was obvious from the first look that I intimidated the f**k out of Richard. “How ya doin, ****,” I said, shaking his hand and feeling his bones crunch beneath my grip. He cried out in pain and invited us in.
Jen and Rich get to small talking. He’s showing her pictures of the tsunami (he’s with the red cross and helps with disaster relief… sleazy way to get ***** if you ask me), then they discuss the presidential debate and the Iraq elections. *Yawn* Finally while watching the super bowl, Rich mentions something about football players being huge, and how its “no surprise since they are all juiced up” Jen mouths “No” to me, but can already see I’m about to spout off.
Me: So you think a little juice makes you huge?
Rich: <nervous laugh> Well, it certainly helps out
Me: Lemme tell you something, Rich. You think if you incorporated some D-Bol into your Elliptical Cardio and Nautilus Machine you would be Ronnie Coleman?
Rich: What’s D-Bol? Who’s Ronnie--
Jen: Guys, guys please
From there, Rich decides to serve us “Dinner” or as I call it, CATABOLIC DELIGHT Are you kidding me? Some Middle Eastern Bread, smelly dip, and cous-cous?!?!?
Me: <staring at the table> What the f**k is this?
Rich: It’s pita bread, hummous, and---
Me: No, I mean, WHAT THE F**K is this? <I’m fuming at this point>
Jen: <nervously> I THINK what he needs is some protein. He’s big into bodybuilding and needs to get his protein intake in.
Rich: <nervous> Just go in the kitchen man… take… take whatever you want.
I rampage through Rich’s cabinets, settling on a gallon of milk, peanut butter, and oatmeal. Rich watches in horror as I sit transfixed on his couch, shoving food down my throat and slugging my milk gallon.
after about 20 minutes... I break the silence..
Me: “T.O. is a f**king warrior tonight, isn’t he Rich?”
Rich: Yeah. Look, I wanted to apologize about the food. I had no idea and I’ll do anything to make it up to you.
Me: <mouthful of food> Anything?
Rich: Anything
Me: I want to armwrestle.
Rich: Armwrestle? <laughs> Come on, what are we, 10 years old?
Rich could see that I meant business though, and he came over to the table and rolled up his sleeves. I fought not to laugh at his 12 inch pipes. With my girlfriend screaming “Please don’t do this!” I slammed Rich’s arm into the table as he started screaming “OH GOD WHAT THE F**K DID YOU DO!?!?!”.
“I’m done with this s**t,” I said, grabbed my coat and Jen and said we need to get out of here. “We can’t leave him like this!,” Jen cried. “SHUT THE F**K UP AND GET IN THE CAR” I snarled and pushed her out the door, slamming it behind me.
I think it's safe to say Rich will be staying away from my girlfriend from now on.
I AM THE ALPHA SUPREME!!!!!!!!!!!
So we roll up to Richard’s house. Holy f**k this guy was loaded. No wonder she dated him. I mean, I have my own place and a BMW but this cat must be swimming in dough. I didn’t expect this but shook it off. Richard answers the door in a Donovan McNabb jersey, with what appeared to be 12” biceps peeking out. First he greeted Jen (my girl) and then he saw me. Though being a few inches taller than me, it was obvious from the first look that I intimidated the f**k out of Richard. “How ya doin, ****,” I said, shaking his hand and feeling his bones crunch beneath my grip. He cried out in pain and invited us in.
Jen and Rich get to small talking. He’s showing her pictures of the tsunami (he’s with the red cross and helps with disaster relief… sleazy way to get ***** if you ask me), then they discuss the presidential debate and the Iraq elections. *Yawn* Finally while watching the super bowl, Rich mentions something about football players being huge, and how its “no surprise since they are all juiced up” Jen mouths “No” to me, but can already see I’m about to spout off.
Me: So you think a little juice makes you huge?
Rich: <nervous laugh> Well, it certainly helps out
Me: Lemme tell you something, Rich. You think if you incorporated some D-Bol into your Elliptical Cardio and Nautilus Machine you would be Ronnie Coleman?
Rich: What’s D-Bol? Who’s Ronnie--
Jen: Guys, guys please
From there, Rich decides to serve us “Dinner” or as I call it, CATABOLIC DELIGHT Are you kidding me? Some Middle Eastern Bread, smelly dip, and cous-cous?!?!?
Me: <staring at the table> What the f**k is this?
Rich: It’s pita bread, hummous, and---
Me: No, I mean, WHAT THE F**K is this? <I’m fuming at this point>
Jen: <nervously> I THINK what he needs is some protein. He’s big into bodybuilding and needs to get his protein intake in.
Rich: <nervous> Just go in the kitchen man… take… take whatever you want.
I rampage through Rich’s cabinets, settling on a gallon of milk, peanut butter, and oatmeal. Rich watches in horror as I sit transfixed on his couch, shoving food down my throat and slugging my milk gallon.
after about 20 minutes... I break the silence..
Me: “T.O. is a f**king warrior tonight, isn’t he Rich?”
Rich: Yeah. Look, I wanted to apologize about the food. I had no idea and I’ll do anything to make it up to you.
Me: <mouthful of food> Anything?
Rich: Anything
Me: I want to armwrestle.
Rich: Armwrestle? <laughs> Come on, what are we, 10 years old?
Rich could see that I meant business though, and he came over to the table and rolled up his sleeves. I fought not to laugh at his 12 inch pipes. With my girlfriend screaming “Please don’t do this!” I slammed Rich’s arm into the table as he started screaming “OH GOD WHAT THE F**K DID YOU DO!?!?!”.
“I’m done with this s**t,” I said, grabbed my coat and Jen and said we need to get out of here. “We can’t leave him like this!,” Jen cried. “SHUT THE F**K UP AND GET IN THE CAR” I snarled and pushed her out the door, slamming it behind me.
I think it's safe to say Rich will be staying away from my girlfriend from now on.
I AM THE ALPHA SUPREME!!!!!!!!!!!
