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How I killed my approach anxiety FOREVER

SashaPUA

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Hey guys, I'm new here but I thought I'd post this to help anyone else out. Hope you guys enjoy it.

Any q's about this or daygame just drop me a line

ok.. here it is. leave any comments and i'll get back to you


A lot of guys (especially when they get into the community) go on a hard core streak of approaching loads and loads of girls – all in a very short amount of time. Some guys will go on a “30 day mission” where they’ll approach 10 women per day. Others will dedicate a certain amount of time each week for approaches over a certain period. While this can be wonderful for your game (and your sexlife) ;) unfortunately the ease of approaching women that you acquire during this marathon of activity is likely to fade. Some men, after having wonderful success, are again finding that they are having difficulty approaching women – often only a few weeks after “defeating” their approach anxiety! Also, some guys find it hard to stay motivated to find the time to go “sarging” on a regular basis…. And therefore fall back into old habits.

In this article, I will attempt to address the reasons why guys fall back into this frustrating pattern of non approach – and set out some recommendations I’ve developed over the past 2 years to minimize the risk of loosing those hard learned skills…. Here goes!

Now, what are the reasons that guys have licked AA would loose their skillset?

One major reason is simply that guys only make approaches during designated times – so when they decide they don’t have time to “Sarge” they stop approaching, and rapidly loose their skills.

Guys seem to be under the misconception that they have to put time aside to go out there and meet women. Although this may be logical when it comes to, say, doing laundry…. It certainly doesn’t when it comes to approaching women. You need to set apart a time when you’re allowed to approach women? When, exactly, are you not allowed? When is that last time you walked past a sign that said “No approaches please”

I wouldn’t want to live in THAT country!! :p

You success rate is not determined by whether you decided you were going to go “sarging” that day or not – In fact, I’ve always found that the first few approaches I make during the day tend to have the greatest success as they seem to be the most genuine.

Some guys say “oh, I’ll be rusty because I haven’t done an approach lately” … yea so…. Surely that’s even more reason to do the approach!

The real secret is, not to separate “sarging time” from any other time. To be a man of PASSION that is driven by his desires! How can you not approach a woman that you TRULY desire? What’s the matter with you? Stop living in FEAR!

Other popular excuses

“I’m not sarging today, I have other stuff to do”

“I don’t have time to approach her”

“she’s not that hot anyways”

“I’m not in the mood”

“she looks busy/*****y”

Stop that!! You can approach any woman, any time, any place. It is only in your mind that barriers exist. A huge proportion of guys simply have to get out of that pickup mentality. “We’re going to the club, to go meet girls” …. You don’t have to go ANYWHERE to meet girls!

They key is, creating opportunities in everyday life situations to meet women.

When you shop for food at the grocery market, don’t just get your food, go to the first till and pay. Look around the store. Are there any cute girls? How far into their shopping are they? Are they in are they in a rush? How long till they get to the front? Try and time it so that you’re behind them in the lineup. Then talk to them! Personally, I like to make jokes about whatever’s in their basket. If they’ve clearly got ingredients for a romantic dinner for two, I’ll be like “hmmm, single huh?” or “Romantic dinner for one?” … or if it’s like a bottle of wine and a sandwich I’ll make fun of that. “aww somebody’s a lonely bunny. Do you need a hug? Or ….. “Aww how sad. Do you need a boyfriend?” – or whatever comes to mind.

If you go to a restaurant with a friend – do you just take the table that the server gives?? Not me – I’ll check out the whole place and get seat next to come girls! Then I’ll start up a chat about what they’d guess is not poisonous, or what’s good if they’ve eaten there before – whatever!

When you get on the subway, do you just get on the first train, and take the first seat available? Forget that! – I’ll try and run along and check out if there are any hotties on the train. Then I’ll go and sit next to them! If the carriage I’ve chosen doesn’t have any cuties on, I’ll get off at the next stop, and get on the next carriage … and so on and so forth till I’m in a position to enjoy my journey with the company of a lovely lady! I’m ALWAYS looking for opportunities to meet women. But you have to create those opportunities!

Some of the greatest sets I’ve had were on planes/trains on girls I’ve sat next to: these are FANTASTIC places to start up conversations. You’re sitting right there next to them for hours at a time! Hint: Take it easy and avoid the direct approach on these spots. Getting blown out at the start can make for an awkward journey. :p

When you’re walking down the street, no matter WHERE you’re going, and you see a hottie, go and talk to her! Tell her how you feel. Incorporate the fact that you’re on your way to something to the opener. BLAME her for making you late!! It’s her fault for being so hot….. be honest! What the **** is stopping you? “HEY!! YOU’RE SO HOT YOU MADE ME **** MY PANTS! YOU OWE ME FOUR DOLLARS FOR NEW UNDERWEAR!!” … or just tell her the truth. “I’ve go this rule, I talk to the first goreous women I see every day – it makes life exciting. Hi, what’s your name?” Why not? What, you’re going to be late 5 minutes? SO WHAT? MORE EXCUSES!

Personally, I leave a half hour before I need to, when I go ANYWHERE. Because I KNOW I’ll be late. Make it a habit, GIVE yourself time to chase girls. Worst case, you’ll be somewhere early. – It won’t kill you!

So, if you make this a regular life habit you’ll never have to worry about “finding time to game” or “Getting rusty” because you’re never “sarging” and you’ll never get rusty.

This is the transformation you should be aiming for. A complete melding of “the pua you” and the “real you” …. Or more like transformation….

A couple of tips for realistically getting to this place I’m speaking of: To some these will seem pretty simple. To some they may seem near impossible. In either case, sticking to these 2 simple rules will guarantee you results. U just have to push yourself and live by them no matter what.

1) Always approach the first gorgeous girl you see ever day. There are no exceptions. I don’t care if she’s in her house brushing her teeth. You knock on the glass till she comes and opens the window and u tell her how smoking hot she is. I don’t care if she’s on a bus with 250 people crammed in -you talk to her.

2) Play hot girl tag. This is a new thing I just came up with the other day. This is the cure for “I don’t have an opener.” Every time u see a girl, you touch her. Period. Believe me – you start doing this, things will start coming out of your mouth! Just grab her above the elbow and watch the magic happen. As soon as you SEE a girl, you walk up to her and touch her. If nothing comes to you, you’ll always have “tag, you’re it!!” … u can even explain to them you’re playing “hot girl tag” … they’ll be flattered.

Yes, getting into these habits is tricky at first – and it takes some moxy. But once you start doing it, brother I’ll tell you what -It will change your life.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO SET TIME ASIDE TO MEET WOMEN GET THE CRAP OUT OF YOUR HEAD

Live your life.

You will see pretty girls

Go and talk to them!

I haven’t gone “gaming” in months. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t approached beautiful woman. I’m no longer a PUA… I’m just a really, really friendly guy :up:
 

Gotensan

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AWESOME POST!!! I always seem to talk to beautiful women best when i'm not even trying to pick them up.
 

ThreeStorms

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day approaches are great, but I only can do them when I am full of positive energy, which alas isn't the case that often (workin' on it)
 

ken chang

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ThreeStorms said:
day approaches are great, but I only can do them when I am full of positive energy, which alas isn't the case that often (workin' on it)
Me, too. It's difficult to be really positive when you just woke up and you're headed for work. If you find a cure, let me know. I often meet hot girls in the bus, but I feel so sleepy to approach them.(Another excuse, right? Hehe...I'm workin' on that, too.)
 

Betamax

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Down the rabbit hole...
Just because I felt in a wicked and playful mood today, I decided what the heck, I was going to play 'tag' as described with some very interesting results.

A few thought I was barking mad, but hey I made them smile on a Monday morning.

Got several sweet smiles and over the shoulder grins.

Two actually stopped me and asked why, which I replied why not, its a beautiful day, and by the way you still 'it'... End up with an e-mail address from one which she offered gladly.

Finally, this evening, I 'tagged' a real beauty mid-20 brunette in sports centre, she initially thought i was bonkers, but got talking and she offered to buy me a coffee, and we chatted for half a hour over a expresso. I really had to go to pick somebody up from the airport and couldn't continue, but she said she would look out for me next Monday evening to make sure she can 'tag' me back.... result.

Its childish, but hey we are dealing with attention seeking 'little' girls here.
 

Micheal Moon

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Excellent thread Sasha...I think every guy makes excuses I know I've been doing it alot lately.

Playing tag is a big one for me though, you have a lot of confidence to do that. I just think some girls will think your'e creepy but I guess like a lot of things its all in the execution.
 

zaohua768

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Excellent thread Sasha...I think every guy makes excuses I know I've been doing it alot lately.Playing tag is a big one for me though, you have a lot of confidence to do that. I just think some girls will think your'e creepy but I guess like a lot of things its all in the execution.Got several sweet smiles and over the shoulder grins.Two actually stopped me and asked why, which I replied why not, its a beautiful day, and by the way you still 'it'... End up with an e-mail address from one which she offered gladly.Finally, this evening, I 'tagged' a real beauty mid-20 brunette in sports centre, she initially thought i was bonkers, but got talking and she offered to buy me a coffee, and we chatted for half a hour over a expresso. I really had to go to pick somebody up from the airport and couldn't continue, but she said she would look out for me next Monday evening to make sure she can 'tag' me back.... result.I always seem to talk to beautiful women best when i'm not even trying to pick them up.
 

Pierce

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lol id never tell a girl she is hot. got too much pride. im the prize. but good post regardless.
 
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