How do you reject an exclusivity ultimatum and keep that plate spinning?

[Donnie Darko]

I had a plate recently pull the I love you card and then give me an ultimatum that I be exclusive with only her or that we can no longer see each other.

I tried explaining that I enjoyed spending time with her but wasn't interested in being in an exclusive relationship.

She seemed pissed at the decision and said we can no longer talk until I'm single and not seeing any other girls.

I told her that I wanted to see her but that I wasn't going to stop seeing the other girls.

She responded that she won't chase or compete for me and reiterated that I should call when I'm single and not dating anyone else.

Do you just let a plate like this completely go and break all contact?

Or do you just give her a week to cool off and then call and ask her out again and just ignore her protests about you dating other girls?

Just curious at other people's experience dealing with plates that give the exclusivity ultimatum.

Just to reemphasize I'm definitely not willing to drop my other plates for this girl at this point.

Ideally I'd like to keep this plate spinning without committing to being exclusive.

 

[PokerStar]

im looking for the answer to this question as well.

 

[sodbuster]

Why are you asking? you already told us you aren't willing to drop the other plates for her. SO she isn't worth enough to be exclusive with at this time?Tell her she hasn't earned it yet. Drop her and replace her.She'll come back or she won't.

 

[TheAsianLoverReturns]

You can't keep her. If you want to go the honest route, you need to accept this truth.

 

[vatoloco]

How long was it from the time you first started dating each other and the ILY bomb. How many dates? How old are you both?

What is your goal with this girl? Casual dating? If so, then you two are incompatible: you want the freedom to see other girls, she wants exclusivity.

Also, did you say "it" back?

 

[Donnie Darko]

How long was it from the time you first started dating each other and the ILY bomb. How many dates? Approximately 3.5 months of casually dating and seeing each other on average once a week How old are you both? We are both in our lower 30s

What is your goal with this girl? Casual dating? Yes, my goal is casual dating and to continue fvcking her occasionally while seeing other girls If so, then you two are incompatible: you want the freedom to see other girls, she wants exclusivity. She says she doesn't want anything serious but she doesn't want me to fvck other girls but I want to fvck other girls.

Also, did you say "it" back? NO! I told her I didn't believe her and said that she needed to prove it.

I'd like to keep the plate spinning without committing to exclusivity and without lying. That can't be impossible.

I understand replacing her. That's fine. I'm busy with other plates but if possible I'd like to keep her spinning.

Perhaps, this is just the way it is and eventually you have to let some plates go.

 

[Lexington]

Try simply ignoring her ultimatum. Make it clear that you don't want to be exclusive. Then try to carry on as though she never made that ultimatum. She may be very principled and stick with the demand. In that case, you'll just have to let her go. But, there is also a chance that her attraction for you will overcome her and she will continue on as a plate. Appeal to her emotions, not her logic.

 

[Zarky]

I just say, "Sure thing baby" and then continue to screw other girls. But that's me. I have no qualms about lying. None at all.

 

[IamMyownMan]

How about you tell her flat out NO.

I did this a few weeks ago. Told her if she still wanted to see me she could...but I am not into a committed relationship. Guess what she called me back, then next time I saw her she was straight to her knees. If you don't have the balls to tell her no and/or the options-your game is already beat and you ought to move on.

If she is into you, she will call you or put herself into you sphere of influence.

Just remember she's not your girlfriend, it's just your turn...this especially applies to the young dudes in LTRs.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I'd just say, "I'll do it if you will be there for me Always." The minute she fvcks up (which shouldn't take too long), go back to fvcking other girls. If she says, "I thought you said we were 'exclusive'!," say, "You weren't there for me (with undivided attention), so I had to go back to being with women I can trust."