newme
New Member
I have been with my 'ex-partner' for 8 years and we were about to get married two months ago.
When I met her I was Don Juan and was ****y and dominant, which I think she liked, but I also had a huge capacity to love.
I didn't want just any girl and went through intense establising phase with her but she stuck and so we went on.
Over the years I grew her and put her first in allor of ways although I was selfish in others.
I was a bastard and an amazing lover at the same time to which I am still trying to work out. I feel bad and proud at the same time.
After an increasingly worse year of fighting and tension, and despite the fact we were getting married, she decided to cancel the wedding and left the house.
I had tried to make an effort in my own way to help us but I was in no position myself by this stage.
Since she left I worked out that I am the one who is dependant and had continuously tried to get her back and realise what she was walking out on.
Even though she acted sweet as pie during our relationship (to others) she changed and hurt me so bad. I still can't believe what she has done.
I lost it and cried and begged her to stay several times and almost killed myself at one point it was that bad for me.
I lost my life, my job, my posessions, my money, her, everything and have now relocated back to my home city. It is still hard for me.
I could go on about what has happened and how much she has screwed me but what I am concerned with is how to 'move on' as I can't seem to do this.
Every day is another struggle and I have tried to be the bastard and go out and find other women for comfort and all that but it's not working.
Nothing seems to work.
I just can't seem to get past this and as others have said here it's like a bad dream.
I am drinking every day started smoking and doinf things that I hate, all I have left is sport and a few friends and family that keep it together.
What advice can you give me brothers?
When I met her I was Don Juan and was ****y and dominant, which I think she liked, but I also had a huge capacity to love.
I didn't want just any girl and went through intense establising phase with her but she stuck and so we went on.
Over the years I grew her and put her first in allor of ways although I was selfish in others.
I was a bastard and an amazing lover at the same time to which I am still trying to work out. I feel bad and proud at the same time.
After an increasingly worse year of fighting and tension, and despite the fact we were getting married, she decided to cancel the wedding and left the house.
I had tried to make an effort in my own way to help us but I was in no position myself by this stage.
Since she left I worked out that I am the one who is dependant and had continuously tried to get her back and realise what she was walking out on.
Even though she acted sweet as pie during our relationship (to others) she changed and hurt me so bad. I still can't believe what she has done.
I lost it and cried and begged her to stay several times and almost killed myself at one point it was that bad for me.
I lost my life, my job, my posessions, my money, her, everything and have now relocated back to my home city. It is still hard for me.
I could go on about what has happened and how much she has screwed me but what I am concerned with is how to 'move on' as I can't seem to do this.
Every day is another struggle and I have tried to be the bastard and go out and find other women for comfort and all that but it's not working.
Nothing seems to work.
I just can't seem to get past this and as others have said here it's like a bad dream.
I am drinking every day started smoking and doinf things that I hate, all I have left is sport and a few friends and family that keep it together.
What advice can you give me brothers?
