Before I dive into the meat of the post, here is some background on the setting of where I am: I currently work a job at a large company - with a lot of people around my age - located in the boonies. Observing fellow co-workers (and experiencing some of this myself), I have come to learn/realize that the people I will meet and eventually get to know are all from work. I am still one of the newer people at the company, but I am not "new."
Now, the situation. There are attractive girls I see and know at work, but a lot of them have bf's or there are other disqualifying factors that would prohibit anything. Anyways, there is a new temp that recently started. Like a good DJ would, I smoothly made my intro, did some C&F, got her number, and she wanted to join me and a couple friends at a bar this past weekend. Unfortunately, a killer monsoon-type thunderstorm ensued when she got off work and she couldn't go (considering I was hydroplaning down a highway and could barely see the road soon after - and I'm not brand new to the area, this is not flaking).
The enemy soon became time. Because she is attractive, she obviously began getting attention from other people - guys in my position who have been there longer than me. One guy just kind of follows/hangs around her all the time, which doesn't help me (just because it's annoying). Another couple of guys are good friends and the combined bulk of them have created hang out opportunities with groups of girls before. So, this is the question: While still maintaining the frame that I am the prize, how do I stand out?
My thread title suggests "two me's." The reason for this is because, at this large company, my natural personality - and strong work ethic/performance - allows me to stand out among hundreds of others. However, some of the following traits do not help with girls or this situation:
-I am extremely gregarious. I talk a lot and am always optimistic/upbeat (but not overly so). Think Apollo Creed if you've seen any Rocky films. One HB I am friends with jokes that I am "the Mayor" because I know a lot of people (acquaintance level) and I have only been here a few months. Superiors and some of the bigger names at the company know me as well for this reason. IMO, the possible downfall here is that people will think I'm putting up an act when I am not.
-The chip on my shoulder as motivation (a lot of doubters in my past). This works brilliantly with the actual job. My bosses say I am very advanced for someone a few months in - and they want me to display an aura of extreme confidence for that reason! The problem with girls is this is going to come off as arrogant. I believe I can do anything after running through it once. While my performance has shown the trend to be true, it's not going to come off as humble. In reality, I don't brag, but you get the point.
-Finally, when I sense competition during work, I go into beast mode. My friend/co-worker said to me, "I'd never want to face you in a do-or-die situation." I will do whatever it takes to win, since I am naturally very competitive. Unfortunately, this going over-the-top tactic does not work socially. I feel I'd come off as needy or trying to do too much.
I know it's a lot to digest, but I was hoping you could help me with tweaking my personality into a well-oiled lady-getting machine in the workplace - particularly the girl I mentioned at the top of the post. The "be silent/distance/not present" game does not work with me because its the opposite of who I am, also with so many people at the company I would fall off the radar. However, I have to believe there are ways I can tone certain things down while raising others up to make it work.
And yes, I am aware of any ramifications and am ok about it - I trust myself and my decisions. Overall, I feel confident about what I can do.
Now, the situation. There are attractive girls I see and know at work, but a lot of them have bf's or there are other disqualifying factors that would prohibit anything. Anyways, there is a new temp that recently started. Like a good DJ would, I smoothly made my intro, did some C&F, got her number, and she wanted to join me and a couple friends at a bar this past weekend. Unfortunately, a killer monsoon-type thunderstorm ensued when she got off work and she couldn't go (considering I was hydroplaning down a highway and could barely see the road soon after - and I'm not brand new to the area, this is not flaking).
The enemy soon became time. Because she is attractive, she obviously began getting attention from other people - guys in my position who have been there longer than me. One guy just kind of follows/hangs around her all the time, which doesn't help me (just because it's annoying). Another couple of guys are good friends and the combined bulk of them have created hang out opportunities with groups of girls before. So, this is the question: While still maintaining the frame that I am the prize, how do I stand out?
My thread title suggests "two me's." The reason for this is because, at this large company, my natural personality - and strong work ethic/performance - allows me to stand out among hundreds of others. However, some of the following traits do not help with girls or this situation:
-I am extremely gregarious. I talk a lot and am always optimistic/upbeat (but not overly so). Think Apollo Creed if you've seen any Rocky films. One HB I am friends with jokes that I am "the Mayor" because I know a lot of people (acquaintance level) and I have only been here a few months. Superiors and some of the bigger names at the company know me as well for this reason. IMO, the possible downfall here is that people will think I'm putting up an act when I am not.
-The chip on my shoulder as motivation (a lot of doubters in my past). This works brilliantly with the actual job. My bosses say I am very advanced for someone a few months in - and they want me to display an aura of extreme confidence for that reason! The problem with girls is this is going to come off as arrogant. I believe I can do anything after running through it once. While my performance has shown the trend to be true, it's not going to come off as humble. In reality, I don't brag, but you get the point.
-Finally, when I sense competition during work, I go into beast mode. My friend/co-worker said to me, "I'd never want to face you in a do-or-die situation." I will do whatever it takes to win, since I am naturally very competitive. Unfortunately, this going over-the-top tactic does not work socially. I feel I'd come off as needy or trying to do too much.
I know it's a lot to digest, but I was hoping you could help me with tweaking my personality into a well-oiled lady-getting machine in the workplace - particularly the girl I mentioned at the top of the post. The "be silent/distance/not present" game does not work with me because its the opposite of who I am, also with so many people at the company I would fall off the radar. However, I have to believe there are ways I can tone certain things down while raising others up to make it work.
And yes, I am aware of any ramifications and am ok about it - I trust myself and my decisions. Overall, I feel confident about what I can do.
