How do I stop trying to impress girls and being needy?

[BPH]

I went on vacation and did what you said. I used to read books about picking up women. But as I went out, I realized that most books are actually useless.
I thought I had social phobia. Actually, I don't have as many phobias as I thought. I wasn't just going out
Still, I didn't like Club-style environments very much.

Staying in my small city after the holidays will be boring and lonely, but at least I realized that the problem is not books and theoretical knowledge.
It is better to go and talk instead of reading books on how to approach women. Even if the result is negative, it's better

Thank you man.

Always good to see people who are willing to listen and act on advice rather than come here to have their woes validated, good on you.

As far as approaching women, yeah, you're just gonna suck at it for a while, but then you get good at having conversations, reading nonverbal cues, flirting, knowing when to isolate her, etc. And you won't have to think about it, it'll just come natural.

As far as your city, the easy fix is to just move somewhere else after you're done school. But if it's really that bad, you might have to do what I do and just really go out of your way to meet women.

In either case, glad I could help.

 

[nelysses]

Always good to see people who are willing to listen and act on advice rather than come here to have their woes validated, good on you.

As far as approaching women, yeah, you're just gonna suck at it for a while, but then you get good at having conversations, reading nonverbal cues, flirting, knowing when to isolate her, etc. And you won't have to think about it, it'll just come natural.

As far as your city, the easy fix is to just move somewhere else after you're done school. But if it's really that bad, you might have to do what I do and just really go out of your way to meet women.

In either case, glad I could help.

Actually not that bad. As i say I'm in med school. So After 4 years I will earn my money. and also I can be in a bigger city. But that day I will be in 26 so I don't know it feels old
I think I should gain more experience with women. I will try to do my best thanks.

And about conversations and nonverbal cues, I have a book aboud Body Language. That isn't about girls, It's for everybody. Should I try the things that I learnt from book?
So Both of us think I should gain more experience with women But should I read books about sociality? For Example Everybody suggested me "Art of Seduction" or some books about influence people.

 

[zekko]

Lol, the whole thing about PUA Theory has always been about trying to impress women. Trying to impress women by not trying to impress them. Or by "being in state" (which is kind of like being a dancing monkey), or "negging" them, or trying to act like a jerk, or whatever.

 

[BPH]

Actually not that bad. As i say I'm in med school. So After 4 years I will earn my money. and also I can be in a bigger city. But that day I will be in 26 so I don't know it feels old
I think I should gain more experience with women. I will try to do my best thanks.

And about conversations and nonverbal cues, I have a book aboud Body Language. That isn't about girls, It's for everybody. Should I try the things that I learnt from book?
So Both of us think I should gain more experience with women But should I read books about sociality? For Example Everybody suggested me "Art of Seduction" or some books about influence people.

You can if you want to, it won't hurt. But I can't think of a single piece of material I've ever read on this forum or anywhere else that I can actively recall and use when I'm talking to women.

In my opinion, it's best to learn by doing.

 

[nelysses]

You can if you want to, it won't hurt. But I can't think of a single piece of material I've ever read on this forum or anywhere else that I can actively recall and use when I'm talking to women.

In my opinion, it's best to learn by doing.

Actually, mine is the same. But even though information like "do this, act like this" is ridiculous, there were a few good things I found about masculinity and oneitis.
But on the other hand, if we assume that there are billions of women in the world, I think it is a bit ridiculous to talk about there being only one truth.

 

[nelysses]

Lol, the whole thing about PUA Theory has always been about trying to impress women. Trying to impress women by not trying to impress them. Or by "being in state" (which is kind of like being a dancing monkey), or "negging" them, or trying to act like a jerk, or whatever.

Yes, but who cares about PUAs? Being with many women, impressing every woman you want... In my opinion, these are unimportant thoughts.
Also I didn't mean this. I just try to say "I'm being needy with women"

 

[BPH]

Actually, mine is the same. But even though information like "do this, act like this" is ridiculous, there were a few good things I found about masculinity and oneitis.
But on the other hand, if we assume that there are billions of women in the world, I think it is a bit ridiculous to talk about there being only one truth.

One thing you'll learn is that if you ask somebody a question, whether they know the answer or not, they will give you an answer they think is right to either A. not come across stupid or B. to come across as an authority. People rarely admit that they do not know.

There's a saying that the best way to make money online is to teach people how to make money online.

You can read all the material you want, and I'm not saying it's all worthless...but you'll quickly figure out what's bullsh** and what's not by just going out into the real world and having more interactions.

 

[zekko]

Yes, but who cares about PUAs? Being with many women, impressing every woman you want... In my opinion, these are unimportant thoughts.

Oh, I'm not trying to criticize you, just making an (old) observation on PUA theory in general. It's always had a built in contradiction within itself. This is basically a pickup forum, although some might prefer to call it a red pill forum, or a manosphere forum, or a self improvement forum. The self improvement aspects are the most valuable, really.