how do I make approaching a woman like a job interview???

[MrNiceGuy]

Thats the question... I have low confidence when it comes to women, but I know what it feels like to be able to have complete confidence and security in yourself, just in another area.. jobs..

I'm lucky in that I'm pretty intelligent and I came from a good family, I did well in school and my parents and teachers encouraged me and I continued to do well, academically I've never had any issues with confidence or self belief, when I've applied for jobs I've never been nervous and just swanned in there completely relaxed, the times when I haven't got jobs I applied for it hasn't deterred me and its often been because I wasn't that keen on the job anyway and it showed.
Somehow (provided I really want it) I just have an unstoppable "I can do this" belief when it comes to jobs and so on..

I remember going for an interview for a bar job once when I'd never done the work before.. and I remember noticing the woman write down "very confident" on her notes. (I got the job by the way)

so how do I establish that level of confidence and ease with women??? I guess the problem is I've never had much success, a few random snogs with girls in clubs, a "friend" who decided she wanted to be with me and then 2 days later decided LJBF after all.. thats pretty much it, longest ever relationship less than 1 week.... the last time a girl really chased me was back in school and I was too much of a wuss to do anything about it..

its just recently the few times I've tried to make an effort its never come to anything much.. I guess just try harder..

but anyway, just the act of posting has made me realise the answer to my own question.. build up confidence in little steps, actually act on it when a girl looks at you in a way that seems she might be interested and so on.. eventually law of averages says I'll get the psycho insecure one who will obsess over me and chase me which will be enough to give me the confidence to go after the normal ones..

still its weird.. I'm lacking in self confidence but I'm by no means one of those people who hates themself or anything, I'm know I'm a good person, I'm just not convinced that women see it..

 

[Q-Pid]

I can't remember where I read it - but i remember reading an important football quote:

You're only as good as your next game

Stop worrying about past failings. They can't possibly be a "problem" because they happened in the past. You've overcome them.

It's your NEXT game you should worry about - not your last one.

Once you realise this you'll be fine with women. Just like you are with jobs.

 

[MrNiceGuy]

That's very true.. but its come to the point where even if I'm not thinking about the past my natural behaviour is not to approach and think of some lame reason why I don't want too, half the time I can't even think of a reason, so I just accept that I'm scared and forget about it and think of something else... I just need to stop making such a big deal out of all this.. it isn't its something people do all the time, and whichever way it turns out I'm no worse off.. sometimes if I'm in the right mood its not a problem, its just trying to make sure I'm in that mindset most of the time rather than only some of it..

 

[RaWBLooD]

your not supposed to make it like a job interview,.... not to her anyways.

 

[milkman]

Originally posted by MrNiceGuy its just trying to make sure I'm in that mindset most of the time rather than only some of it..
[/B]

Try to approach no matter in what mood you are. It´s okay.

 

[salsipuedes]

"Approaching is like riding a bicycle, no one just gets on and start riding perfectly the first time, you have to try and try again, fall as many times as needed, and slowly start to learn until you feel comfortable."

-Salsipuedes-

 

[MrNiceGuy]

Originally posted by RaWBLooD
your not supposed to make it like a job interview,.... not to her anyways.

I know, my point is those are situations that alot of people find stressful that I have no problems with.. I want to achieve that level of.. well, just not caring... to women.

Exactly i just need to get at it and keep going, there have been nights out I remember when I've just been in the right mood and approached or got talking to quite a few women, the first one or two is hard, but after that you just carry on and don't care.. trouble is I didn't keep on so the mindset didn't stick, I just need to have a long enough run so that the attitude sticks in my head..