B
Bud_Fox
Guest
Just an update. I haven't had a full night sleep in 2 months. I'm on over the counter sleeping pills to help my insomnia. I'm going to see a therapist this week for the first time ever.
I can't stop thinking about how I screwed up this relationship. I am depressed that I should be engaged to this beautiful woman now, but my jealously/gut feeling told me not to propose. I'm depressed because the holidays are here and I have nothing to look forward to. I have a small dysfunctional family, and she comes from a large happy family. I can't believe I bottled my anger and the breakup resulted in an explosion, and she has me completely blocked from email/text/facebook/dating sites!!
None of the girls I have meet recently have been as sexy as her. I feel like I have lost my best friend because I was too jealous/moody. My ego got in the way and I thought I could do better. I was wrong. The guilt is eating me. She is on dating sites and i've noticed there are like 3 times as many guys as girls online. She wants revenge on me and is starting to date a few guys who are older. She never lost her virginity until just before she met me and it seems like her new found confidence is over the top. Online dating is so easy for chicks. It's hard work for guys.
I obviously have some deep problems. One of the things I miss the most is having this sexy girl by my side all the time. It was such an ego boost. I was on such a high from having so much sex and eating at great restaurants. The girls I have meet since my ex left me aren't the type i'd like to brag about or show off. I also miss the loss of dreams for the future, such as trips we talked about taking in the future. I think that's really screwing with my motivation. We had these plans to visit Hawaii, Puetro Rico, California, etc.....but now it's over.
I never thought about getting married when I was younger....I was always scared of divorce. Now that I was close to proposing and we are now broke up i'm really upset. Now I wish I could do anything to go back 3 months and propose. I can't believe she broke up with me over text because she caught me on a dating website when I was upset she wouldn't move out with me.
I have even been thinking lately if I had my time back I would have been ok with her having an affair with this guy, as long as she said it was just sexual fling because she lost her virginity late and was jealous I had more sexual experience, and as long as she came home to me each night and told me she loved me I think I would have been ok with it. Messed up isn't it??? Maybe it's the lack of sleep messing with my head. She would have been a naughty "Hotwife". If you don't know what that means just Google it.
I can't stop thinking about how I screwed up this relationship. I am depressed that I should be engaged to this beautiful woman now, but my jealously/gut feeling told me not to propose. I'm depressed because the holidays are here and I have nothing to look forward to. I have a small dysfunctional family, and she comes from a large happy family. I can't believe I bottled my anger and the breakup resulted in an explosion, and she has me completely blocked from email/text/facebook/dating sites!!
None of the girls I have meet recently have been as sexy as her. I feel like I have lost my best friend because I was too jealous/moody. My ego got in the way and I thought I could do better. I was wrong. The guilt is eating me. She is on dating sites and i've noticed there are like 3 times as many guys as girls online. She wants revenge on me and is starting to date a few guys who are older. She never lost her virginity until just before she met me and it seems like her new found confidence is over the top. Online dating is so easy for chicks. It's hard work for guys.
I obviously have some deep problems. One of the things I miss the most is having this sexy girl by my side all the time. It was such an ego boost. I was on such a high from having so much sex and eating at great restaurants. The girls I have meet since my ex left me aren't the type i'd like to brag about or show off. I also miss the loss of dreams for the future, such as trips we talked about taking in the future. I think that's really screwing with my motivation. We had these plans to visit Hawaii, Puetro Rico, California, etc.....but now it's over.
I never thought about getting married when I was younger....I was always scared of divorce. Now that I was close to proposing and we are now broke up i'm really upset. Now I wish I could do anything to go back 3 months and propose. I can't believe she broke up with me over text because she caught me on a dating website when I was upset she wouldn't move out with me.
I have even been thinking lately if I had my time back I would have been ok with her having an affair with this guy, as long as she said it was just sexual fling because she lost her virginity late and was jealous I had more sexual experience, and as long as she came home to me each night and told me she loved me I think I would have been ok with it. Messed up isn't it??? Maybe it's the lack of sleep messing with my head. She would have been a naughty "Hotwife". If you don't know what that means just Google it.
