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How did I get this girl????

Dannyrt34

Master Don Juan
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Well guys, I'm still here. I'm finally in a great relationship with a great gal. I really wanted to share this story cause it goes against alot of the DJ rules. It kinda has me confused, but I'm definitely not complaining here, haha. Here it is.

I met her 8 months ago at a bar. We both knew who each other was because I'm a frequent customer at the restaurant she works at. We never actually spoke to each other, other than a simple "hi and bye". I always thought she was beautiful. Dark hair, green eyes, nice tan, lip peircing that looks really sexy on her. Everything I love in a girl.

That night at the bar, I noticed her sitting there with one of her girlfriends. I walked toward her and she noticed me approaching her and she said "Hi" to me first. I sat down and we began a conversation that lasted a good 10 minutes. We hit it off quite well immediately, we clicked really well and got excited about every topic that came up. I left there with her number.

We had our first date on Valentine's Day of all times. It was a great time. We each had a bit of the first date jitters but dealt with it really well. We laughed and talked alot, and got competitive at the games we played at Dave and Buster's. She was the sweetest girl I ever been out with, she would not let me pay for anything. She was a very nice, caring girl. She kept telling me that she was worried that I wasn't having any fun, and she's hoping that I didn't blow off any of my friends to be with her. No kiss that night, but we still had a good time.

Anyway, fast forward about 2 months to April of this year. We were hanging out about once every week since we met. Always having a great time, but still never kissing. I was starting to wonder why every time I try to escalate with her, she wouldn't respond positively. She never really responded negatively either. It was just neutral. For example, I put my arm around her and she sits there, straight as a board, not moving closer, but not backing away. It kind of made it awkward for me so it was hard to get any closer than that. I usually just removed my arm and then we talked as normal. I finally decided to ask her what her deal is and what she's looking for from me. I still remember what she said pretty clearly. She said that she just got out of a relationship before she met me and she's not ready for another one. She told me LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS.

Ouch.

Yea so I figured that was that. I wasn't a very happy camper, cause I really liked her. Rather than nexting her though, I decided I'm actually just going to be friends with her and date other women. And that's exactly what I did. I began dating about 3 other girls over another 2 month time span. Nothing amounted to anything with the other girls, had a few makeout sessions but nothing more. I really had no interest in any of them.

I still seen the original girl about once every week. We were only friends, but continued to have a great time together. I still tried to flirt alot too, but to no success. She was a vault, and I didn't have a key, or the combination, to get her to open up. I actually felt down everytime we hung out, because I really liked her and knew nothing would ever happen. I felt like this is a classic case of one-itis, and I'm being a major AFC. I need to snap out of this.

I eventually ran out of other girls to date at the time. But remained great friends with this girl that I can't seem to get away from. She even referred to me as her best friend! Great:mad:

Now that brings us up to June. I was just living my life, working, exercising, hanging out with my friends most days. But still finding the time to see her too. We actually both knew each other really well by this time. Hell, we hung out for almost 6 months now, and we knew pretty much everything about each other inside and out. And I still liked her inside and out. She has just as beautiful of a personality as she looks. It was driving me mad that we were only friends.

But this is when things started to change, I never acted any different towards her, but I noticed she began acting different towards me. Could it be?? Somehow, her interest was rising in me? And I have NO IDEA how! I wasn't doing anything different. One night, we went to the park and sat down on a bench, I put my arm around her and she actually leaned in and put her head on my shoulder. I was kinda shocked, even though it was nothing major, it was still something!

I looked at her facebook on nights that we had plans to hang out. And she had status messages up that said things like "Really can't wait to see him tonight!" I realized that these messages were referring to me.

So the next time we hung out on the 4th of July to go see fireworks. I decided to tell her how I'm feeling. Yea yea, so another DJ rule broken. I didn't care at this point. I just wanted to know how she was feeling. I told her "I know you're not looking for a relationship, but I am, and I like you, and I would really like to know how you feel about that."

She looked at me and said. "Danny, I love EVERYTHING about you! You're so cute and super charming. I think I actually am looking for a relationship. Honestly, I knew that we were going to end up being together."

She spilled her guts to me. What she said to me made me feel unbelievable. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and we both seemed to feel alot more comfortable around each other. I paused for a good while after she said that, then I finally said "I think we're long overdue for a kiss." She looked at me as if she was agreeing with me, she looked kind of nervous too. Since I knew her so well I kinda figured out that she is a bit shy. But I finally got that kiss, and man did it feel great.

Fast forward to now. We started to see each other more than just once a week at this point, we upgraded it to TWICE per week, lol. It still feels like were hanging out for the first time everytime I see her. We still have alot of fun and now we're just closer than ever. I'm the happiest I have ever been with a girl. We have a really good relationship.

To this day she actually thanks me for not giving up on her. She always jokes to me "I'm glad you didn't bail when I said I wasn't looking for a relationship."

This whole situation has me wondering how the hell it worked out though! I mean I was friendzoned for cryin out loud! Can somebody make any sense of this?
 

Jitterbug

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Take it easy mate. It's only been just over a month. It's early in your honeymoon period. Keep things in perspective and don't let your guard down too quick.

Half of the guys on SS came here because they didn't know how to get a girl. The other half came here because they had no idea how they got a certain girl, fell too hard for her (one-itis) and got their hearts broken.

This whole situation has me wondering how the hell it worked out though! I mean I was friendzoned for cryin out loud! Can somebody make any sense of this?
Usually it means you're the convenient guy. You probably weren't her first choice. She was seeing or pining for some other guy when you two first met and hence she turned you down. After a while, it didn't work out with other guys for her, but you were still there. You're not her first choice but you're good enough so in her mind, she said to herself "He'll do" and used that wonderful chick logic to backward rationalise you as this great guy that she's ooohhh so happy to get.

Or it could be that she really liked you and was too blind & immature to figure it out, like the chix flix would tell us.

You won't find out until a few more months into this relationship. Give it 6 months at least, before you get all "I <3 you" and name your firstborn together.

Good luck!
 

scrouds

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Reading that made me a little sick to my stomach. The gushing of emotion unsettles my stomach.

But it reminds me of an important poker lesson.... luck beats skill. At least short term.
 
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For God's sake, the woman had just gotten out of a relationship. Did you consider her heart might be broken? Helloooo. Women aren't like men, if they were, men would not like them. Fact of the matter is when a woman is hurt, she does not want to be with another man immediately. It takes months depending on the severity of the break up. So maybe she is over the heartbreak now and is ready, so good for you.
 

Sandow

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Ok here's what happened. She just got out of a relationship and wasn't ready to jump into a new one. Speaking from experience, everytime I break up with my partner, the last thing I wanted was another relationship, and yea, it takes around 4 -8 months to be ready for another one.

Your story isn't uncommon, we often hear about the guy who couldn't get the girl so they remained friends until the day she finally fell in love with him. What she saw in you was persistence. Girls are attracted to persistance and dedication, albeit this isn't the way we teach here at sosuave! In my eyes, no girl is worth waiting around for 6 months, but you were consistent and I praise you for that. She wasn't attracted to you at the beginning, but girls will eventually become attracted to you if you're still there after all that time because it shows persistance and loyalty.

You didn't necessarily break any DJ rules. It's been awhile since her last relationship, and now she's ready for one. And who is she gonna choose? Most likey you because your still there.

This behavour is sort of a paradox because it's a turnoff to girls if you tell them how you feel, especially if you just met them. And if you keep chasing, you're only going to distance yourself form her. However, in time, that chasing and neediness turns into attraction, because throughout that whole time your still there. Like I said that chasing and neediness transforms into dedication and perssitance in her eyes.
 

JCballin88

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I've had similar situations with girls just out of relationships...they act totally into me, want to hang out constantly, lots of IOI's, but then when I make a move, I get the LJBF speech. After saying they're not "looking for a relationship now," they go and get a new boyfriend (not me) within a couple of weeks.
 

Shaddow

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there are no rules that cant be broken or bended.

nice one :up:
 

Dannyrt34

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Don't worry guys, lol. We never told each other that we love each other. We just both acknowledged that we like each other that day.

She actually told me one of the reasons she likes our relationship is because we took things really slowly. She's kind of shy. But I'm they type that just likes to take things as they come. I don't really think ahead when it comes to relationships.
 

nismo-4

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First off, you were second in line. I'm sure she got her rocks off elsewhere. If the guy said deal, you would've been heartbroke and no chance of this relationship would arise. Since that guy said no deal by turning down her offer, you were the safety net. Bear in mind you weren't the million dollar case. But you can keep the attraction going and you will become that FTW! Oh, and that's mandatory or she will cheat on you.

Secondly, did you bang her?

Third, you had the balls to talk to her.

Fourth, you spun more plates.

Fifth, you didn't make any AFC moves.

Sixth, you didn't tell her you love her.

Now you must realize that you gotta get to know her better. Right now, you are an easy target to be cheated on. Give the girl 6 months and make sure you know entirely that she's the one and why she chose you in the first place.

BTW, you had more luck than skill. If a natural comes along, its highly likely that you'll be losing her to him. Like scrouds said, luck beats skill short term. It happened to me enough in high school.

Case closed.
 
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