How can I get men to respect me?

[GetOveIT]

To gain respect without being physically strong:

- Learn How to make people feel important.

- Learn How to easily walk away from ANY situation or say No to ANYONE that makes you feel weird, uncomfortable or intimidated.

- Every time you speak to someone the first thing on your mind should be, what can i do to make this person feel good or How can I help/fix a problem they may have.

- Learn HOW NOT TO EVER GET TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF (since a majority of your interactions will involve DOING and GIVING selflessly) !!

- Use your weakness and turn it into a strength !! Enlighten people every chance you get and let them know you have issues with your body that prevents you from doing physically stressful things, but you are still and your not a push over or someone that doesnt stop fighting

Yep, nothing more to it.

 

[CuriousGirl]

Everyone loves the joker of the group. I've noticed amongst circles of male friends, the most liked and respected are the funniest too...but also treats the others with respect. I've noticed they are disliked if they are *too* arrogant and look down on the others, but they aren't walked all over either. Also the whole being confident in yourself. The guys who copy other guys are always at the bottom of the pecking order, you wanna be the guy that others want to copy.

This is going from the younger 15-25 age range though, unsure about older men.

 

[sharkbeat]

I know what you're saying and I appreciate it, but this mindset implies there's hope.
Strenuous physical activity leaves me not sore, but damaged. If I sprain my ankle, that's a year of pain right there. I'm actually quite young, but 'have the bones of a 60 year old and the joints of a man in his early 40s'.

I want to believe, that I too, can overcome nature's curse, but not everyone can be a Lance Armstrong.
Most people just die.

That's just the way it is. Every time I try improve my physique, I'm riddled with damage and let's face it, I'm not going to achieve a respectable physique unless I take up swimming in my late 20s.

Even if people can smash me to bits, surely acknowledging this fact and still not fearing it while holding my own - that's probably what I'm looking at here.
Accepting it and standing tall in the face of my short comings.
That disabled speaker comes to mind - you probably know the one.

You sound a lot like my ex. Everytime she exercises, she always sprained her ankles, knees, or whatever it is, then she whined just like you did right there. Let me tell you something important about physical activities: The less you do, the more likely you get injured. Okay?

Case examples:
1. My ex (see above)
2. This other friend who's a frail little guy. We played basketball one day, and he jammed his finger because he couldn't catch a ball.

I noticed this happened on me too. If I didn't get active for like 2-3 years, I'd move very awkwardly on sports that I could play before. I was good at soccer in high school, then after 4 years of inactivity, I came back, and damn I was awkward, and sure enough injured myself. What did I do? I went to the gym at 6 o'clock in the morning every single freakin day and practice by myself against the wall until I am good at it.

If there's a will, there's a way. You simply don't have enough will to do it, then whine and justify your inaptness, just like women. "oh it's genetic", "oh it's this", "oh it's that", "oh I am not like that".

 

[the305]

How To Win Friends and Influence People

Or if you live in the jungle like the other apes on this forum do

then lift weights, learn fighting, wear a loaded handgun under your jacket, tattoo tears under your eyes. OMFG

this is the only book you will need, end thread =D

 

[GetOveIT]

this is the only book you will need, end thread =D

That book if misinterpreted can turn a man into a dormat, but its a great book :rockon:

 

[Accension]

I appreciate everyone trying to convince me that I can bulk up and become fit, but I need to emphasise that sometimes people aren't making excuses.
I failed to mention that I once tried to join the military - the nurse took one look at me and said, 'You'd be a liability to your entire company if we allowed you to enlist'.

I'd tell you guys my disorder, but I just know someone would find some shrewd evidence of guys being able to get fit with this condition and I really don't need false hope.

You must understand, I tried for years to bulk up. I've already tried and it's not a matter of trying harder - I simply have a medical condition that makes trying a waste of time.

I've considered each of your replies individually and I'll come back for more specific advice when I have more time.
If anyone has any more input, that'd be great. I'll keep an eye on this thread and in the meantime, try incorporate some of the basic advice here right away.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Martial arts will help you with your confidence. I second that advice.

But beyond that, you have to adopt the mindset of, as they say in the white trash ghetto, "I don't give no fvck." That is how to get people to respect you - not caring what they think.

 

[falconslax89]

dude. its just a mindset. really..thats it. you dont have to work your way into it. you dont have to learn it. its doesnt take time if you dont want it to. wake up in the ****ing morning, walk out the door and BE CONFIDENT. be confident that nothing bad can come from it, only good if nothing at all. just do it. there are 8 billion people on this earth. you are so small and insignificant you will never have a lasting impact on anything...99% of people wont. dont waste your life trying to figure this **** out. just do it. you have one chance to live, then your dead. forever. no more chances once your dead...for all of eternity. you have one ****ing life man. enjoy it. do what you ****ing want. BE CONFIDENT! JUST BE!!!

 

[Accension]

Martial arts will help you with your confidence. I second that advice.

But beyond that, you have to adopt the mindset of, as they say in the white trash ghetto, "I don't give no fvck." That is how to get people to respect you - not caring what they think.

I did martial arts for a few years.
Any confidence it can give you, automatically goes to **** when someone half your size kicks your ass.

I'm not saying it didn't help me in general, but looking back, man what a waste of time. Nothing physical can help.
However, the 'yeah, what ever' mindset might be just what I need.

I'm just trying to get everyone to understand that this thread is the result of years of lost time trying to work on physique and combat arts. I have an extensive history of extreme sports and every injury imaginable.

I used to act with a reckless disregard for my condition, but fast forward a few years and it's left me crippled with joints that crack, bones that groan and a lower back that surges with never ending pain.

However, physique and combat ability aren't the only defining aspects of a respectable man.
I'm confident, intelligent and a pleasure to talk to. I just need to work on not supplicating to dominant males just because it's the easy, safe thing to do.

When it comes to socialising, I haven't really been true to myself except with my values surrounding women. However, that hasn't been important to me in a long time. This is the part in the journey where one realises friends, family and respecting your own values are what makes a man.

This really is an exciting time for me.
Any one that knows me around here knows that I've been writing some pretty stupid and pretty good ideas too.
My whole identity has changed more than I care to admit.

Friends keep giving me the 'you've changed/ there's something new about you' speech more and more.