Discussing kids on a DJ site does not seem to make much sense. So I expect few responses to this. But I’m willing to bet there are more “mature” men with kids perusing this site than is advertised.
I write this because it’s NOT written anywhere else.
Being a mature man with kids seems like the very antithesis to sarging the ladies. Think again! Just as kids are oh so great at tax time, so too are they the worlds greatest opportunity to increase your value in the eyes of women.
So don’t run away from the little boogers, go get ‘em and listen up.
I have 4 kids myself and am a single father. After finding this site last year I struggled to incorporate the principles of DJism to my life. On the surface, much of the info here does not seem to apply. However, those who truly grasp what a DJ is understand that the principles of DJism are quite compatible, actually preferable to the AFC in fatherhood.
I cannot speak for all single dad’s so for simplicity I list some Do’s and Don’ts from my actual real life experiences thus far in the journey.
DO NOT deny, conceal or avoid your children. This is the obvious “traditional” social norm, but from a DJ’s standpoint any semi-interesting relationship you get into the topic of kids will come up and if you blink, you lose. Period. This does not mean you need to be the idiot gushing father proclaiming your love for your kids every minute. This is boring. Kids are extremely powerful status symbols: for many women, more powerful than money and job. Does a DJ brag about his accomplishments? Never. Let women pull it out of you, let THEM brag on you.
DO NOT use your kids as an excuse for your problems/lack of game/unhappiness. Avoidance and blame lead to resentment. If you resent your kids then YOU have a problem and only YOU can fix it. Man up! Admit that even without kids you’d most likely STILL suck as a DJ.
DO sign up for PTA, school outings, and volunteer for school functions. Yeah it helps the school, bla bla. But, what are schools absolutely full of? Well educated, intelligent, young women. Many of them unmarried.
DO NOT EVER drink alcohol around your kids in public. My views on alcohol are it messes up your game, but beyond that, you obviously drove the little devils to the function and you’d better believe female eyes are on your every move in public.
DO NOT EVER bang your babysitter or nanny. These women are sacred, cherished creatures that will spread word of your “evil ways” faster than you can say “blue balls”. Now, nothing wrong with the sister or friend, or even mother of the babysitter.
DO take your kids to parks. There are few men in parks and many single mommies. Although it’s often preached here not to go after single mommies, the reason is the complexity of the single mommy’s situation and the inevitable baggage. If you have kids and are involved with their lives then hopefully you have skills to use to screen out messed-up mommies before they suck you into their lives. Translation: if you have your sh*t together with kids you can spot those that don’t a mile away. Keep those that don’t a mile away.
DO get your kids involved in sports and be involved yourself. True story: Brad’s mommy liked to wear these jeans that had lots of holes in them to the softball games. Brad’s mommy was hot. Brad’s mommy had not had sex for six years (until this year).
DO take your kids shopping, out to eat, to “kid places”. No, you won’t be pulling any F-closes, but digits are easier with your young “bros”. Sarging is easier with wingmen as it gives you social proof and confidence. Kids can be both.
DO realize that you will be in more unusual, sometimes uncomfortable places, than James Bond. 4 hour bus trips, sleep-overs, hockey games, Brad’s mommies bedroom with Brad knocking on the door. It does take serious presence and true DJ skills to be comfortable in the many environments you will find yourself. You will find that compared to this, sitting at a bar coming up with a ****y + Funny comment is ridiculously simple.
DO realize that even young un-married women will find you attractive thanks to good ole social programming. After all, you’ve done something none of your young competition has done, you’ve reproduced and you are a provider. There’s more power there than you realize. In these cases you introduce your children to them only when asked. And, lets be honest, these are not LTR’s, they most likely will not be factors in your kid’s lives. Have some fun. You deserve it.
DO give yourself a holiday from your kids every now and then. That’s where those babysitters and nanny’s come in.
DO continue to work on yourself as a separate individual from your kids. You will suck as a dad AND a DJ if you don’t take care of number one.
I write this because it’s NOT written anywhere else.
Being a mature man with kids seems like the very antithesis to sarging the ladies. Think again! Just as kids are oh so great at tax time, so too are they the worlds greatest opportunity to increase your value in the eyes of women.
So don’t run away from the little boogers, go get ‘em and listen up.
I have 4 kids myself and am a single father. After finding this site last year I struggled to incorporate the principles of DJism to my life. On the surface, much of the info here does not seem to apply. However, those who truly grasp what a DJ is understand that the principles of DJism are quite compatible, actually preferable to the AFC in fatherhood.
I cannot speak for all single dad’s so for simplicity I list some Do’s and Don’ts from my actual real life experiences thus far in the journey.
DO NOT deny, conceal or avoid your children. This is the obvious “traditional” social norm, but from a DJ’s standpoint any semi-interesting relationship you get into the topic of kids will come up and if you blink, you lose. Period. This does not mean you need to be the idiot gushing father proclaiming your love for your kids every minute. This is boring. Kids are extremely powerful status symbols: for many women, more powerful than money and job. Does a DJ brag about his accomplishments? Never. Let women pull it out of you, let THEM brag on you.
DO NOT use your kids as an excuse for your problems/lack of game/unhappiness. Avoidance and blame lead to resentment. If you resent your kids then YOU have a problem and only YOU can fix it. Man up! Admit that even without kids you’d most likely STILL suck as a DJ.
DO sign up for PTA, school outings, and volunteer for school functions. Yeah it helps the school, bla bla. But, what are schools absolutely full of? Well educated, intelligent, young women. Many of them unmarried.
DO NOT EVER drink alcohol around your kids in public. My views on alcohol are it messes up your game, but beyond that, you obviously drove the little devils to the function and you’d better believe female eyes are on your every move in public.
DO NOT EVER bang your babysitter or nanny. These women are sacred, cherished creatures that will spread word of your “evil ways” faster than you can say “blue balls”. Now, nothing wrong with the sister or friend, or even mother of the babysitter.
DO take your kids to parks. There are few men in parks and many single mommies. Although it’s often preached here not to go after single mommies, the reason is the complexity of the single mommy’s situation and the inevitable baggage. If you have kids and are involved with their lives then hopefully you have skills to use to screen out messed-up mommies before they suck you into their lives. Translation: if you have your sh*t together with kids you can spot those that don’t a mile away. Keep those that don’t a mile away.
DO get your kids involved in sports and be involved yourself. True story: Brad’s mommy liked to wear these jeans that had lots of holes in them to the softball games. Brad’s mommy was hot. Brad’s mommy had not had sex for six years (until this year).
DO take your kids shopping, out to eat, to “kid places”. No, you won’t be pulling any F-closes, but digits are easier with your young “bros”. Sarging is easier with wingmen as it gives you social proof and confidence. Kids can be both.
DO realize that you will be in more unusual, sometimes uncomfortable places, than James Bond. 4 hour bus trips, sleep-overs, hockey games, Brad’s mommies bedroom with Brad knocking on the door. It does take serious presence and true DJ skills to be comfortable in the many environments you will find yourself. You will find that compared to this, sitting at a bar coming up with a ****y + Funny comment is ridiculously simple.
DO realize that even young un-married women will find you attractive thanks to good ole social programming. After all, you’ve done something none of your young competition has done, you’ve reproduced and you are a provider. There’s more power there than you realize. In these cases you introduce your children to them only when asked. And, lets be honest, these are not LTR’s, they most likely will not be factors in your kid’s lives. Have some fun. You deserve it.
DO give yourself a holiday from your kids every now and then. That’s where those babysitters and nanny’s come in.
DO continue to work on yourself as a separate individual from your kids. You will suck as a dad AND a DJ if you don’t take care of number one.
