Holy shyt, girlfriend's dad just busted in her apartment and threatened to kill me

[fuko2007]

Sounds like you are right, her dad seems to be very protective of her. Seems like the kind of dad that just needs a butt whoopin from his daughters bf to find out that he can protect her just as well. But as far as if someone makes a death threat on me i always tell them better kill me now or not let me make it to my room. Dont dump her though its not her fault. And remember some things are worth it, you have other options. Like moving or a restraining order?

 

[backbreaker]

1. OP i've noticed in 2 of your responses you've stated that this is the advice you are looking for / this is what you want to see. if you already know "what you want to see" why are you asking the forum int eh first ****ing place lol? if you already know what you want to do?


2. from my experience any girl that you seriously date, you just arne't dating her. you are dating her entire family, all her friends, you are combining lives. it's one thing for a girl to have some ****ty friends who just straggle around but it's another to take on a broad who has an ape**** father.

i would rather deal with a woman with NO father than to deal with a father like that.

I don't owe her anything. she doesn't owe me anything.

maybe one day the father gets his emotional issues worked out and if eh does, i woudl then be happy to entertaining the thought of being in a LTR with the chick, but until then **** that lol. .

when you have plates, real ones, women like this aren't even a consideration your own responses are trying to justify keeping her around and honestly she sounds like a great girl from a bad family but sitting here tryign to act like the family isn't going to have a great effect on your relationship that's somethings c hild would think.

I've been married 2 years a week ago. I've gone from meeting a woman, to dating her, to marrying her.

so let's assume you actually like this girl enough to settle down with her.

1. kids. are you going to break the news to ape**** daddy that you knocked her daughter up lol? what are you going to do when they come to the hospital for delivery? what about birthday parties?

2. what aobut family get together?

3. most importantly, as much as my wife likes to think of herself as fierecely independent, and for the most part she very much is, i know her enough to know that there is no way in hell she would be my wife today if both her parents were not 100% signed on. Her parents have her ear. They keep her in line, when we do get into spats it's the first person she calls is her daddy because him and i act just alike.

and even if i give you the fact that this woman isn't emotionally fcuked up, which i bleieve is the case, i think she escaped.. as long as that man and that woman are there, from that ****ed up house hold, you don't have a chance at anormal functioning relationship. Beucase her parents don't know how to have a normal, functioning relationship. Everything she has learned about relationships has come from people in a ****ty one. everything she expects a man to act like comes from a ****ty over protective father.

and when she goes to the people that she trusts more than anyone else on earth to get life adivce, they are going to give her ****ty advice.

but your mind is made up, and some guys have to put their hand on the fire to know it's hot.

i don't even care about the death threat. i care about the bad influences.

 

[yyyy1313]

Bit of a read, but worth it.

We've been dating for several months now and I've rarely met her father, she's always kind of pushed him away. I'm good with her mother's side of the family and close to them. She told me her father was a little crazy but she underplayed it a bit as I would find out today.

Anyway, we were packing up to go on a road trip for the week when there's fierce knocking at the door and in busts her dad, a 5'11 guy looks me dead in the eye and starts accusing me of all of this stuff that I didn't do (i.e. that I'm the reason why my girlfriend hasn't called her mom back, etc.) and asks me if I was taking her for a road trip this week. I told him yes and he looks at me with this crazed look in his eye and tells me to stay the **** away from his daughter or he'll kill me. He repeated it again. My girlfriend was freaking out the whole time demanding him to stop and that he's acting crazy, which added fuel to the fire.

Needless to say, I'm 6'5 and 245 pounds compared to him, but there was something just about that look in his eye that scared the shyt out of me. I cannot think of a more dangerous combination than a bipolar crazy overprotective father who thinks some guy is "stealing his little girl" away, especially one that threatens to kill me.

Apparently she's been leaving some details out about her dad. Her father is out of his ****ing mind and apparently her mother is in an on-again-off-again relationship with him and he cheats on her all the time and threatens to kill other people her mother starts to see. I guess there was a reason I only briefly saw him at family outings and events while we were dating, but this is probably one of the biggest deal-breakers for me, especially since he's about a 5 minute drive away. Dude is legit ****ing crazy.

The ironic thing is that she's the most stable, normal, and overly responsible girl I've ever dated. Very mature for her age, doesn't drink, doesn't go to bars and doesn't really like to party. Shes' into classical music, Frank Sinatra, and she's an actress from LA. She's extremely mature and on top of her shyt (even moreso than I am), I'm assuming its probably because she's had to take care of this crazy ass family.

Fvcking infuriated me though and I'm wondering if I should I file a police report against him? How serious are death threats made in person?

I've been in my fair share of fights, and if there's one thing I've learned is that to never, ever underestimate adrenaline and pure desperation. And like I said, I cannot think of a more dangerous or desperate human being than a crazy overprotective father who's about to fight his daughter's boyfriend who he thinks is causing all of these unrelated problems in his family. No way in hell would I be eager to jump into a fight with him at that moment.

My girlfriend hates him, her mom hates him, and my girlfriend even encouraged me to file a police report.

I just don't know how to handle things from here. He lives like a 5 minute drive away and he was blaming random family problems on me and going off on me like I had ran over his dog. He's super, creepily protective of his daughter or just plain old fvcking crazy.


She's an amazing catch and ideally the perfect girl for me, but I don't really see any other way around this situation than to just end this relationship. I'm thinking its not ****ing worth it. If she moves out to LA again and I'm there maybe we could start up again but as it is now, no way. No way in hell. I've dealt with crazy before, I've dated crazy before, I have never encountered this kind of crazy before and I can only imagine what horrible ****ing things lie waiting for me if I continue this with her. Like, fearing for my life kind of crazy at how one day he'll just snap and bust into her apartment again, this time with a gun, and shoot me. I've never had a man look me in the eye before and literally threaten to kill me, and reiterate that fact twice.

No girl in this entire world, short of my wife and daughter, is worth putting up with the possibility of having that lurk around the corner.


I don't know, what do you guys think? This all just happened today, but gawd damn.



Cliffs:

- girlfriends dad is legit crazy
- met him a few times before
- suddenly bursts into apartment door as we're leaving for road trip
- blames a ton of random stuff about their family on her dating me thats totally unrelated
- threatens to kill me if I don't stay away from his daughter, absolutely bat**** crazy father
- contemplating filing a police report/wondering if i should break off the relationship
- read the post you lazy ass

Best thing to do is to sleep on it and give it a couple of days. It'll give you a better perspective of the whole situation and you won't be overreacting on pure emotion.

PS: If this girl is as good as you say she is don't let someone that isn't her ruin things for you.

 

[Brighty]

UPDATE:

UPDATE:

my girlfriend just showed me this text from him:

http://imageshack.us/a/img837/1076/md8b.jpg




Dude is legit off his rocker and threatened again to kill me with a baseball bat, and the issue he was taking about was something she had already helped her mom with last week and had made painstaking efforts to go through. The entire thing was a miscommunication on his part and in his crazy addled brain he somehow mistook her being asleep when he called as her blowing him off and immediately barged into the apartment a few hours later. This whole thing of him calling her babygirl is weird as hell too, the girl's 22 and I've dated my fair share of women and I've never, ever met such a ****ing crazy overprotective father before.

Dude straight up took off the plates off the car so she couldn't go anywhere. Her mom is defending him saying that if I really loved their daughter I'd try and find a way to make it work.

This whole family sounds messed up, I'm having second thoughts about all of this I can't lie.

 

[cordoncordon]

UPDATE:

UPDATE:

my girlfriend just showed me this text from him:

http://imageshack.us/a/img837/1076/md8b.jpg




Dude is legit off his rocker and threatened again to kill me with a baseball bat, and the issue he was taking about was something she had already helped her mom with last week and had made painstaking efforts to go through. The entire thing was a miscommunication on his part and in his crazy addled brain he somehow mistook her being asleep when he called as her blowing him off and immediately barged into the apartment a few hours later. This whole thing of him calling her babygirl is weird as hell too, the girl's 22 and I've dated my fair share of women and I've never, ever met such a ****ing crazy overprotective father before.

Dude straight up took off the plates off the car so she couldn't go anywhere. Her mom is defending him saying that if I really loved their daughter I'd try and find a way to make it work.

This whole family sounds messed up, I'm having second thoughts about all of this I can't lie.

That is the first thing that stuck out to me (besides all of the other fawked up stuff), him calling her babygirl. For a father to call his daughter that? Seems very very inappropriate. Dare I say almost sexual. Not sure what is going on there but I dated a girl once who I then come to find out had gotten sexually abused by her father. Thing is I had a certain vibe I had gotten from him that made me wary and turns out that is what had been happening. I kind of get the same vibe here.


Either you have to go somewhere a longgggggggg ways away from him with her, or break up. Living close to him while still seeing her is not an option imo.

 

[Brighty]

That is the first thing that stuck out to me (besides all of the other fawked up stuff), him calling her babygirl. For a father to call his daughter that? Seems very very inappropriate. Dare I say almost sexual. Not sure what is going on there but I dated a girl once who I then come to find out had gotten sexually abused by her father. Thing is I had a certain vibe I had gotten from him that made me wary and turns out that is what had been happening. I kind of get the same vibe here.


Either you have to go somewhere a longgggggggg ways away from him with her, or break up. Living close to him while still seeing her is not an option imo.

Well she certainly likes it when I call her a "good girl" and an "obedient girl" during sex. Aw geez.

 

[plate's_empty]

how's that restraining order coming along?

 

[Brighty]

how's that restraining order coming along?

Talked it over with a few people and I'm going to hold off and see what the girlfriend thinks and what her mom's opinion is on the subject before I make any kind of decision. Is there a way to just notify the police discreetly just to have it on record as a preventative measure in the future in case there is a physical altercation that I'll at least have some ammunition that this guy threatened me?

 

[Aristippus]

Talked it over with a few people and I'm going to hold off and see what the girlfriend thinks and what her mom's opinion is on the subject before I make any kind of decision. Is there a way to just notify the police discreetly just to have it on record as a preventative measure in the future in case there is a physical altercation that I'll at least have some ammunition that this guy threatened me?

He barged into your home and threatened your life and you want to be discreet? Reread my first reply. I told you what you needed to do. Now you choose to ignore the good advice. If you ignore it, you deserve whatever bad consequences come from it.

Without a paper trail, it's a no-win for you. If he comes after you with a bat (or other weapon) and you pick up your own bat and injure or kill him, there's no paper trail in your favor. And the lawyers WILL try to make it look like you were the aggressor and WILL try to have you thrown in prison.

This isn't some stupid game. This is real life. The judicial system isn't always just. It's very corrupt. Once again, cover your a$$. Use the legal system in your favor, especially since you're in the right, or it will be used against you. To be honest though, this girl probably has her own issues. So keep a scrutinizing eye on her.

You may even want to break it off with her. I have a feeling she has some issues of her own, as if her family issues weren't bad enough. I doubt she's so exceptional that it's worth dealing with the b.s. Whether you stay with her or break up with her, get a restraining order on the father. That is paramount. Just do it.

p.s. If you think you're going to get an objective point of view from the mother or daughter, you're sorely mistaken. They will do everything to protect the husband/father and to keep him from getting into trouble with the law, no matter how screwed-up his behavior. They will try to shield him from the bad consequences of his sh*tty behavior.

 

[TheWolfMan]

Listen OP, I find it funny that you criticize the forum for not giving worthy advice yet here we are giving you sound advice and you're ignoring it, it's like you want this guy to kick your @ss or something. Contact the police directly? Dude get to a police station asap, explain to them what happened and the situation also show them the text he sent to your girlfriend. If you deleted that you're an idiot. Also, if you can get your girl to go with you and verify your story that would be a plus. Are you afraid of talking to the police or something? Like many people have said this protects your ass, should you have to hurt him by defending yourself. I guarantee he will back the f@ck off once he finds out you took legal action. I mean the choice is yours, it boils down to how bad you want to be with the girl. If that were me and some @sshole pulled that ****, barged into my place, he'd be looking down the barrel of a pump-action so he knows I'm not one to be f@cked with. I have my LTC (license to carry) so I'm not really worried about crazy overprotective fathers.

 

[TheWolfMan]

On second thought don't even talk to the girl or wait for the mom's opinion, just go down there and explain everything, show the text. They are there to help and protect you and they will also suggest the right course of action for you to take. Honestly do yourself a favor and do this.