That's it, how do I change my thinking when I am used to this woe is me/miserable feeling? Is it all jus internal change? Or more external? I have felt this way for so long, it's all I know, so it's like years of potential improvement have gone bye. That's what's eating away at me.
How do you do it? If it wasn't learned before, does it take longer to learn it now?
I read the field report, I mean,it's good and all, but I just can't for the life of me get that into my head. It seems I get too discouraged too easily. It could also be baggage. High School, and early young adulthood, haven't been for me what I expected it to be, whether it's my own unrealistic expectations, or even buying into media espoused lies, I am just not happy with the way any thing has been, or not been going for me. However, having found this site, I do see things differently, I think it has caused me to become angry at women, I must say. As I see it, they don't know they're place anymore, and have caused more problems than solutions. I can say I no longer put them on a pedestal, don't kiss but, and refuse to be a doormat, refuse to be there emotional pillow,etc.
However, I am still not having the success I would like, and as said on here, don't know how to be one of the guys. I have longed for acceptance, only to feel this constant bitter sense of isolation. It's like I have taken on the identity of the loner. Social problems have always existed for me, and that's been a hurdle for me to get over. Part of it has to do with seeing people as followers, caring about stuff I just don't care about, the overgrowing superficiality of the world, and this whole thing about not wanting to be a follower, group dynamics,etc. I have a whole thing about that.
I know I could be so much ahead if I had changed things sooner, working out more, focusing more on education, as for women, I am far from picky. Average looking girls, some fat girls, the 10's, I like em all. I would fvck em all if I could.Yet there is still that feeling of not being good enough, that feeling of only this guy get's this, or this guy get's that, it's been holding me back. Or she only goes for this type of guy,etc. I get the whole idea, have her up to you're standards, you need to qualify her, the very attractive ones are just regular people, but ideally, I just want to meet that one special someone, and get married, and start a family.
I bring anti manly stuff? what would that be?
