HELP The Guy I Like Just Told Me This...Is This Good Or Bad :(

[gemmalovesit]

gemma,

When you denoted you had to "rush off to meet someone", was this another male, or a male friend? Maybe you not showing up or spending time with him, as you suggested you would, and instead "rushing off to meet someone" made him question your motives or what other males may/may not be in your life.

I suppose a female player would just be a woman who is using game to keep options and to raise attraction. If he thinks you'll just use him, he will remain guarded. There is nothing wrong inherently with setting up options or exacerbating attraction/seduction. This is good! The lack of those things often causes pain! But maybe he just needs to see some higher IOI's from you (indicators of interest) that you really dig him, and aren't taking the other men in your life very seriously.

If you're hanging out with dudes all of the time, this will set off red flags in his mind about your motives and ability to be trusted.

If you really like this guy, why not try and setup some 1:1 thing with him. Don't go into a bunch of rhetoric to defend yourself -- instead just show him that he and only he, is the one you are interested in. Make a move on him -- give him a righteous BJ & a meal afterwards and you may have this man hooked

Thanks Buddha mind

 

[gemmalovesit]

Ok, for any new girl here -- slow down, READ, and absorb information. Don't post until you understand the dynamics of the forum. This place is like any other guys club. The rules are a little different here.

1) Don't show up and start demanding attention on your first post. You will look naive and men don't respect that.
2) Guys win credibility by demonstrating rational thought, insight, and life experience. Showing up as a ball of hormone-addled confusion will not win you respect.
3) We don't care how upset you are. Guys are supposed to keep it inside and filter their thoughts to appear mature. Here, so are you.
4) There are several girls here who understand this and are welcomed (or at least tolerated). Find them and copy them.
5) This forum does not exist to solve your relationship problems. This forum is by men, for men. If you're not prepared to give something back, go elsewhere as suggested.

Nobody post anything until she either goes away or calms down a litte

Dude, chill out.

Seriously, do you OWN this forum ??

I may sound naive, I am 18 and just started college and really like someone.

I get that you guys are meant to be 'dons' and 'players' seeking advice.

I have apologised for posting here, I didn't realise it was that sort of forum.

I think you need to chill out.

It's just a forum, you don't own it. It's never that serious.

 

[perseverance]

He's probably been hurt or messed around with someone who displayed initial traits that you have shown to him.

I can't speak on his behalf, but with me if I saw you as little more than random chick who I'm interested I'd probably screw you and be done with it. If I saw you as more than that and was interested I might hold back and question what your intentions are. Women in the past haven't been open and honest with me about their intentions and in the end I ended up getting played or messed around by these women and it's gotten to the point where I'm fed up of playing games (which most women do).

If you want more than just a quick screw with this lad and if you see him as relationship material you have to show him that's what you want and you have to be crystal clear about your intentions otherwise if he is like me, he won't play ball.

 

[HalfAddict]

Do you like him? Then ask him out, worst he can do is say no.. Seriously, this is what 90% of this forum would tell a guy to do, and I am pretty confident that it could work for a female as well.. But you will have to get over that fear of rejection, this could help.

If he says no remember it is not the end of the world.

I would also like to state that getting all *****y on this forum is THE WORST POSSIBLE THING that you can do... Coming in here being a **** and telling people to chill out, talking about who owns the forum is not acceptable behavior here. It is only going to further alienate you from the community, which by the way is an interesting community to be a part of.

I personally have no qualms with females on this forum, until they start bringing that female brand of Maury Povich drama to said community.

 

[backbreaker]

got dammit my computer is broke again, i am sick and tired of dealing with the internet company. the pics of the OP aren't coming up. damnit.

 

[goodfoot]

I dont know. The way I see it, is this guy has you wondering about him, and you're emotionally confused about him. To me, this says that he may have did something right. If it was an AFC move, I dont think you'd be worrying about him, much less, tracked this forum down, and registered and posted. You'd have written him off. This may be the guy's game, and he may be doin it good.

As for helpin you out, I dont know. You're a chick. Accept his advances, and even help him along, while not being too easy about it. Simple as that.

I was thinking that was a possibility as well. Saying the girl seems like a player keeps her from suspecting you, completely bypassing the anti-slut barrier. I might add this to the arsenal.

 

[wait_out]

But look Gemma. You're posting with proper punctuation and you're readable.

Being challenged is not the same as being disrespected. The point is to help you avoid a backlash, not to pick on you. And if you consider your feelings at all serious -- rationally, you owe it to those you wish to query to posit your questions with the same respect you want to be treated.

Google "professional soldiers" -- if you do any research at all, you will see dumb 18 years olds (all guys, FYI) getting torn apart for asking poorly researched questions pertaining to the special forces community. Are those older guys pricks? Well maybe -- or maybe they just have a very small tolerance for dumb questions. That's a side effect of accumulating the life experience they had the hard way. You don't always end up "nice".

It seems like people get under your skin easily, both your cute guy's push-pull routine and even just me being abrasive. If you get led around by the nose by your emotions, it's going to get you into trouble (even if only emotionally). preserverance is right -- I really, really don't like that seeing that. You strike me as a girl who is going to inevitably splat herself across a very obvious wall unless someone metaphorically throws cold water in her face. You should have 5-alarm bells going off in your head right now about what scars said, not because it's not necessarily true but because it didn't even register on your radar.

Boxing coaches and military instructors will drive their guys so hard they cry. It's because it's necessary. More relevantly for you, plenty of girls get chewed up and spit out in the dating game. If you can't take a minor head check online, personally I think you've got no business whatsoever dealing with a complex guy who is already, obviously, fvcking with your head.

 

[Mr. Suave]

It's just a forum, you don't own it. It's never that serious.

It's okay he's just trying to act like a "Don Juan alpha male" to impress you

 

[DarkShade]

This entire thread is a bar scene.

Lost confused girl comes up to bar surrounded by several men.

First one suggests immediately to leave with him.
Others come by to console her and give her a hand.
A few come by and say "COME BACK WHEN IT'S LADIES NIGHT, THIS IS MAN TIME!"
Chick pushes off the 'mean people' and bats the eyelashes at the helpers with a thank you and no number given out.
Chick leaves the bar to find more boys or hang with her girlfriends.

Thanks for the laugh guys

 

[iMan]

This entire thread is a bar scene.

Lost confused girl comes up to bar surrounded by several men.

First one suggests immediately to leave with him.
Others come by to console her and give her a hand.
A few come by and say "COME BACK WHEN IT'S LADIES NIGHT, THIS IS MAN TIME!"
Chick pushes off the 'mean people' and bats the eyelashes at the helpers with a thank you and no number given out.
Chick leaves the bar to find more boys or hang with her girlfriends.

Thanks for the laugh guys

heh heh heh

 

[gemmalovesit]

Wait out and Shades, sorry if my inital post seemed rushed and I also apologise for using this as an ask men thing but as you can imagine I am genuinely baffled at the moment. I am even more confused now.

Btw I am a british italian female, he is an american internation student , our uni is in England.

Okay I have 3 things I NEED you men to explain to me and explain why a man would do this.

1. WHY DID HE ACT LIKE THIS :

When I first spoke to this guy, he was so delighted, basically him and his friendship group had been looking at me all night before I spoke to him and as soon as I spoke to him he immediately held my hand and was like we need to talk and outside was telling me how much they all liked me , how beautiful he has thought I am etc etc.

Through out the main two nights he made very elaborate actions e.g holding my hand, putting his arm around me, kissing my head, hugging me, kissing me infront of his friends like he wanted everyone in our student union to know he was with me.

This is where the whole i'm a perfect girlfriend thing came from he just felt the need to tell me how perfect I am as a girflriend and he also emphasised that he doesn't want this to be just sex, he wants more because I'm so beautiful and blah blah blah.

¬_¬ he felt compelled to show me to EVERYONE and they were all saying insider jokes like 'you got the model chick' =_= and he just felt the need to show everyone HE was talking to ME.

Guys, I am not that great, in my secondary school, there were other hot girls, the thing is we go to a top uni, which is full of international neeks so any girl who is like 'hot' is like MEGA HOT hhere seen as about 90% of the girls are in cords and glasses.

But why did he feel so compelled to show me off like I was his girlfriend ??
and make all the elaborate actions ?? and he even introduced me to his older brother ON THE FIRST NIGHT and his brother was like 'shes so gorgeous, she's a keeper blah blah'. hence all his 'ur such girlfriend material talk'

His american so him and his american friends reckoned I look like one of the girls in the video girls in the videos. Their friend who my friend told me thats what they were saying that 'she looks like a video model, blah blah'

also when I was dancing with my gay friend he felt obliged to come and kiss me there and then just to kinda show something.

what type of behaviour is this ???? whats the whole 'showing off' thing about.


HIS **** BLOCKING FRIENDS

How have his friends gone from 'she's so hot' to 'shes probably a player, lets go she doesn't care about you' JUST because I left early ?? what is their problem??? Why are they being like this ?


HOW HIS ACTING NOW

Ever since me leaving early I've gone from being his main attraction and 'trophy girl' and 'girlfrien material' to all the stuff his been saying that I mentioned in the main post.

What hurt me most was the 'u can get any guy you want it's easy for you' 'your seduction skills and your charm' blah blah blah, acting like I just dazzled him and now he wants to step back because 'I've got game and I'm probably a player'.

Since he said this yesterday his been acting so off like one word answers so i've gone silent.

he was even like 'when are you coming out' and I said 'wednesday' and he said 'okay' and replies 'nice' so I've just stopped talking all together seen as he was being so dry.

It's just so annoying because I like him SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much, I haven't likes someone like this in ages, and it's even more annoying because I have had alot of guys approach me but noones ever acted like this.

Also I'm worried someone I don't know so well is making me think this deep.

It's so pathetic, now I know his coming student union party on wednesday and I'm looking online to find a dress to make sure im the 'hottest girl' there again.

I just don't get what has gone wrong.

I've gone from being 'the girl he WANTS' to him being a cold **** just cos I left early

 

[gemmalovesit]

*sigh*

 

[backbreaker]

Wait out and Shades, sorry if my inital post seemed rushed and I also apologise for using this as an ask men thing but as you can imagine I am genuinely baffled at the moment. I am even more confused now.

Btw I am a british italian female, he is an american internation student , our uni is in England.

Okay I have 3 things I NEED you men to explain to me and explain why a man would do this.

1. WHY DID HE ACT LIKE THIS :

When I first spoke to this guy, he was so delighted, basically him and his friendship group had been looking at me all night before I spoke to him and as soon as I spoke to him he immediately held my hand and was like we need to talk and outside was telling me how much they all liked me , how beautiful he has thought I am etc etc.

Through out the main two nights he made very elaborate actions e.g holding my hand, putting his arm around me, kissing my head, hugging me, kissing me infront of his friends like he wanted everyone in our student union to know he was with me.

This is where the whole i'm a perfect girlfriend thing came from he just felt the need to tell me how perfect I am as a girflriend and he also emphasised that he doesn't want this to be just sex, he wants more because I'm so beautiful and blah blah blah.

¬_¬ he felt compelled to show me to EVERYONE and they were all saying insider jokes like 'you got the model chick' =_= and he just felt the need to show everyone HE was talking to ME.

Guys, I am not that great, in my secondary school, there were other hot girls, the thing is we go to a top uni, which is full of international neeks so any girl who is like 'hot' is like MEGA HOT hhere seen as about 90% of the girls are in cords and glasses.

But why did he feel so compelled to show me off like I was his girlfriend ??
and make all the elaborate actions ?? and he even introduced me to his older brother ON THE FIRST NIGHT and his brother was like 'shes so gorgeous, she's a keeper blah blah'. hence all his 'ur such girlfriend material talk'

His american so him and his american friends reckoned I look like one of the girls in the video girls in the videos. Their friend who my friend told me thats what they were saying that 'she looks like a video model, blah blah'

also when I was dancing with my gay friend he felt obliged to come and kiss me there and then just to kinda show something.

what type of behaviour is this ???? whats the whole 'showing off' thing about.


HIS **** BLOCKING FRIENDS

How have his friends gone from 'she's so hot' to 'shes probably a player, lets go she doesn't care about you' JUST because I left early ?? what is their problem??? Why are they being like this ?


HOW HIS ACTING NOW

Ever since me leaving early I've gone from being his main attraction and 'trophy girl' and 'girlfrien material' to all the stuff his been saying that I mentioned in the main post.

What hurt me most was the 'u can get any guy you want it's easy for you' 'your seduction skills and your charm' blah blah blah, acting like I just dazzled him and now he wants to step back because 'I've got game and I'm probably a player'.

Since he said this yesterday his been acting so off like one word answers so i've gone silent.

he was even like 'when are you coming out' and I said 'wednesday' and he said 'okay' and replies 'nice' so I've just stopped talking all together seen as he was being so dry.

It's just so annoying because I like him SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much, I haven't likes someone like this in ages, and it's even more annoying because I have had alot of guys approach me but noones ever acted like this.

Also I'm worried someone I don't know so well is making me think this deep.

It's so pathetic, now I know his coming student union party on wednesday and I'm looking online to find a dress to make sure im the 'hottest girl' there again.

I just don't get what has gone wrong.

I've gone from being 'the girl he WANTS' to him being a cold **** just cos I left early

this has gone on too long

let me ask you some questions

1. does he treat you differently in front of his friends than he does when you are alone with him?

2. does he always talk about how he wants to be with you and be your boyfriend but never asks you out

3. have you had sex yet? what's the farthest you have went with him?

4. do you know if he has any additional prospects

 

[horaholic]

Maybe his Ex GF was in the room!

 

[penkitten]

he didn't go from hot to cold. he went from hot to pathetic.
he's sulking because he thinks you left early to meet up with a better guy and is basically putting his insecurities right out on the table.
whatever the excuse on leaving early, somewhere in his head, logic tells him that you had other plans with some other guy.

 

[backbreaker]

he didn't go from hot to cold. he went from hot to pathetic.
he's sulking because he thinks you left early to meet up with a better guy and is basically putting his insecurities right out on the table.
whatever the excuse on leaving early, somewhere in his head, logic tells him that you had other plans with some other guy.

I don't think so. I think that's what he wants her to think

I used to do this type of stuff all the time in high school. i would look for any and every reason not to be exclusive with a girl. any little thing, rather i cared or not, and usually i really didn't, i would blow it up like it was the end of the world, and be like "see this is why i can 't date you, you are going to hurt me because ei don't think you really like me" all the while i was dating/sleeping with other chicks and getting what i wanted from her while she was trying to "prove to me" that she didn't care.

I grew out of it but it always worked especially for girls who i knew had it for me.

 

[Scars]

He isn't actually hurt by you "seeing some other guy", he's accusing you of it so he can push you away so he DOESN'T get hurt.

It's simply a defense mechanism. OP, do yourself a favor and reread my original post. I've already answered all your questions in one paragraph. He's just mind fvcking you, whether it's intentionally or (more likely) unintentionally.

Heh, I remember when I used to accuse girls of BS just so I could "pretend to be mad" and buy 2-3 days of not talking to them so I could go out and fvck other girls. This guy is probably doing the same exact thing.

-Scars

 

[Z Man]

Hey gemma,

Can you put into words WHY you like this guy so much? Do you really want to deal with a guy who treats you like that?

I say move on from him. Find somebody more stable and level-headed.

 

[iqqi]

It's hard to take this seriously.

BUT, since it was posted in another forum, that gives this some credibility. AND since someone asked me to look at this, I will.

By the way, SOMEONE, I think you care too much what girls think about you, just from asking me to look at THIS particular thread, which I couldn't even take seriously unless directed to. Also, no you aren't being a big jerk. Duh?

Here is the answer:

1. Who tells someone that they think of them as girlfriend material... just from first sight? No getting to know you at all? Hmmm he sounds easy to me.

2. Who blows someone off that they like to go meet someone last minute?

Both of you sound like airheads, and therefor I say this is a good match.