Help me understand frame better

[Tilex]

Is frame more of a state of mind or is it a state of power?
From my understanding it seems like a state of power.
For example if you ask a girl out and she says yes she's in your frame, but when she asks you out and you say yes, you're in her frame.

Is this how frame works?

 

[ohrein]

It's not about exerting control, that's weak. Frame is your set of expectations and if a woman does not meet those you find one who does. It's a power but it's an internal power, as you said a state of mind. I am worthy of the life I want and I won't settle for less. It should only be an overt external force in the rarest of occasions that call for it. I think it works best when it's a set of values and expectations a woman understands and follows without you overtly explaining it. It's masculine strength at it's core. You handle whatever comes your way, you give your best to the world and you expect the same in return.

 

[Spaz]

Frame/reputation/success = core values + how u think + how you do things.

 

[guru1000]

Thinking of a painting. The periphery of the painting is “your frame.” The painting itself is your story.

By bringing a girl into your frame, you are bringing her into the full confines of your story.

Once she enters your frame, you then own the frame.

 

[RangerMIke]

Frame is simply that you are un-apologetically MALE, that you know what you want, and achieve with the discipline and confidence while living in the present. A man with a solid frame understands that what happened in the past is not necessarily a predictor of events. That the future is not 'ordained' and the future can and will be shaped by you and your actions right now. Because you live in the present, and you are not subjected to the emotional whims of the sub-conscious. You accept that anything can happen, but you do not EXPECT any outcomes. You do not worry about the past accept in where life experience can shape your actions now... But since the past can not be changed, it is an emotional waste of energy thinking about it.

The reason why "maintaining frame" is such a hot topic is because to make a relationship work with a chick, then you are going to have to have a 'flexible' frame... which is grossly inconsistent. Because like it or not, when you are in a relationship with a chick, your brain chemistry changes as she wears you down emotionally, as she continues to assault your sub-conscious with chick sh!t until you actually start to believe that it's "fun" going to couples baby showers instead going to games with your mates, and champagne brunches instead of beer and hot dogs while you play golf.

Your relationship chick will fight you on sh!t she really doesn't fvcking care about because she is in an emotional battle of wills to control you.... and the funny part... is when she finally beats you into submission, she no longer is interested in fvcking you because she has complete emasculated you. Now if you TRY to maintain FRAME, you will spend your life fighting with her, which eventually pulls you off frame, because chicks fight emotionally, which means you are in your sub-conscious and not the present. You can not maintain 'frame' with a chick you are in a relationship with, because the only way you CAN make a relationship work is if you are willing to compromise your 'frame' to do it... and if your frame is 'flexible' then you have no frame.

 

[Serenity]

Simply put, frame is knowing where you want something to go. Whether she asks or you ask is irrelevant, if you want to go out with her then both may help you reach your goal. You don't make it harder for yourself, you don't create obstacles if it's going your way.

Frame doesn't mean absolute domination, it just means that you know what you want and won't play along if it's outside the frame. Basically it's your personal boundaries, knowing what you want and not entertaining things you know won't lead to getting what you want.

As a side note, a state of power is a state of mind. The mind is the control center of everything that is you, power is determined by your mind. Trying to display too much power will work against you, they'll be intimidated by it meaning you'll scare them away.

You're not in her frame of she asks you out and you say yes. You'd want to go out with her, it's aligned with your desires, you'd be really dense if you said no to something you want. Power shouldn't be used constantly, only when necessary, as in she suggests something you won't agree to you say no and don't go along with it.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Woman are very much like geckos and or sheepish. Especially in their younger yrs.

Ever date a chick and notice she starts liking stuff you enjoy? That's an avenue of frame, no need to get all mental masturbation about it tho.

 

[BeExcellent]

Thinking of a painting. The periphery of the painting is “your frame.” The painting itself is your story.

By bringing a girl into your frame, you are bringing her into the full confines of your story.

Once she enters your frame, you then own the frame.

Advice from the old lady: From a woman's perspective, let me explain what a man who keeps frame looks like.

He is a man who does as he pleases with whom he pleases. He is less concerned with pleasing a woman and more concerned with pleasing himself and pursuit of his own endeavors and desires. If upon his invitation a woman elects to come into his world, he may welcome her and enjoy her, and he will be considerate of her if he values her entry into his story. But he won't fundamentally change his story or change who he is or cease to serve his own life and interests. And if the woman tries to dictate or modify or control or change his world rather than contribute value to it as it currently exists, then a man with solid frame will dismiss the woman and go on about his business.

The sh*t tests guys talk about are really nothing more than a woman finding the boundaries of the man's frame, in other words what a man will and won't tolerate. The stronger your frame is the less you will be subject to sh*t tests because the boundaries and expectations you have will be explicit. Strong frame is consistent, which gives a woman a sense of stability and consistency when dealing with you. By contrast weak or non-existent frame is nebulous, inconsistent and therefore unsettling, which make the woman want to exert more control (to gain greater stability and consistency.)

Better to err to the side of ass hole than to err to the side of p*ssy. But there is much nuance and subtlety in frame control. Full bore ass hole behavior isn't going to get you where you want to go either.

 

[Paarth Shah]

Advice from the old lady: From a woman's perspective, let me explain what a man who keeps frame looks like.

He is a man who does as he pleases with whom he pleases. He is less concerned with pleasing a woman and more concerned with pleasing himself and pursuit of his own endeavors and desires. If upon his invitation a woman elects to come into his world, he may welcome her and enjoy her, and he will be considerate of her if he values her entry into his story. But he won't fundamentally change his story or change who he is or cease to serve his own life and interests. And if the woman tries to dictate or modify or control or change his world rather than contribute value to it as it currently exists, then a man with solid frame will dismiss the woman and go on about his business.

The sh*t tests guys talk about are really nothing more than a woman finding the boundaries of the man's frame, in other words what a man will and won't tolerate. The stronger your frame is the less you will be subject to sh*t tests because the boundaries and expectations you have will be explicit. Strong frame is consistent, which gives a woman a sense of stability and consistency when dealing with you. By contrast weak or non-existent frame is nebulous, inconsistent and therefore unsettling, which make the woman want to exert more control (to gain greater stability and consistency.)

Better to err to the side of ass hole than to err to the side of p*ssy. But there is much nuance and subtlety in frame control. Full bore ass hole behavior isn't going to get you where you want to go either.

Very nice post.

 

[Trump]

Advice from the old lady: From a woman's perspective, let me explain what a man who keeps frame looks like.

Why do you keep calling yourself "old?" Alot of top guns in business are older than you and they say they will keep going forever.

He is a man who does as he pleases with whom he pleases. He is less concerned with pleasing a woman and more concerned with pleasing himself and pursuit of his own endeavors and desires. If upon his invitation a woman elects to come into his world, he may welcome her and enjoy her, and he will be considerate of her if he values her entry into his story. But he won't fundamentally change his story or change who he is or cease to serve his own life and interests. And if the woman tries to dictate or modify or control or change his world rather than contribute value to it as it currently exists, then a man with solid frame will dismiss the woman and go on about his business.

Ideally yes. In Real Life, HELL No.

No guy in America, let alone on SS, will "dismiss" any decent looking young girl with little baggage because she tried to dictate or modify his behavior. For Sex with in good looking young girl in 2018? Heck, any guy, would be "what can I do for you to have sex with me?" rather than dismiss her because of some tests.

You have to remember, society doesn't value what goes on BEHIND the scenes. They value what they see in front on them. Good looking girl on your arm Friday night with 60% frame? Or being alone Friday watching tv with 100% frame?

"What happened to that hot new movie actress you amazingly got date with?"
"Nothing. We fooled around a little but she tried to change my frame and I don't accept that."
"So you didn't make another date with her?"
"No bro. I'm alpha and my frame is tight. No good looking famous young actress is going to change my ways."
"Well then what did you do this weekend?"
"Sat at home and watched the game while being 100% alpha and tight frame."
"Sweet bro!"

The sh*t tests guys talk about are really nothing more than a woman finding the boundaries of the man's frame, in other words what a man will and won't tolerate. The stronger your frame is the less you will be subject to sh*t tests because the boundaries and expectations you have will be explicit. Strong frame is consistent, which gives a woman a sense of stability and consistency when dealing with you. By contrast weak or non-existent frame is nebulous, inconsistent and therefore unsettling, which make the woman want to exert more control (to gain greater stability and consistency.)

Better to err to the side of ass hole than to err to the side of p*ssy. But there is much nuance and subtlety in frame control. Full bore ass hole behavior isn't going to get you where you want to go either.

My theory: If you are ATTRACTED to the girl. Take some hits as long as they are small, but do not compensate on BIG things. Men in 2018 don't have the luxury to be so strong and consistent and powerful and frame full. Sex is such at a premium if the girl is young + good looking, you got to give in alot of the time.

 

[wifehunter]

Advice from the old lady: From a woman's perspective, let me explain what a man who keeps frame looks like.

He is a man who does as he pleases with whom he pleases. He is less concerned with pleasing a woman and more concerned with pleasing himself and pursuit of his own endeavors and desires. If upon his invitation a woman elects to come into his world, he may welcome her and enjoy her, and he will be considerate of her if he values her entry into his story. But he won't fundamentally change his story or change who he is or cease to serve his own life and interests. And if the woman tries to dictate or modify or control or change his world rather than contribute value to it as it currently exists, then a man with solid frame will dismiss the woman and go on about his business.

The sh*t tests guys talk about are really nothing more than a woman finding the boundaries of the man's frame, in other words what a man will and won't tolerate. The stronger your frame is the less you will be subject to sh*t tests because the boundaries and expectations you have will be explicit. Strong frame is consistent, which gives a woman a sense of stability and consistency when dealing with you. By contrast weak or non-existent frame is nebulous, inconsistent and therefore unsettling, which make the woman want to exert more control (to gain greater stability and consistency.)

Better to err to the side of ass hole than to err to the side of p*ssy. But there is much nuance and subtlety in frame control. Full bore ass hole behavior isn't going to get you where you want to go either.

But, there is no frame without a clear mission or goal. Women can be a huge distraction, and naturally suck the life out of you (not the good way), if you let them.

Find your mission, find your frame.

But, at the end of the day, frame still needs a foundation, much like a house. Otherwise, storms in life will come, and you will lose your sh!t. Definately, not attractive.

 

[BeExcellent]

Why do you keep calling yourself "old?" Alot of top guns in business are older than you and they say they will keep going forever.

I refer to myself as the "old lady" with tongue in cheek because at just about 50 years old many guys here think I am old and perhaps by default a post wall washed up woman. It amuses me. I am old enough to be the mother of many of the guys here and I myself have a high school age son. It's an acknowledgement that I'm not 22 anymore, it is what it is. If youth is all a man cares about then I am well past my prime, obviously. But if a man values personality, accomplishment, emotional stability and a chick with her sh*t together who is still hot in the looks department and cool to hang out with? In that case I still got it. And the market tells me routinely that I am still high SMV. So if someone thinks I'm old its fine. Once in a while I get shamed/flamed about my age, which makes me chuckle. It doesn't bug me at all and I'd rather get that out of the way right up front.

My age doesn't affect my business acumen at all. In fact the experience I have in business and in life makes me rather formidable, although I still get underestimated a good deal, which is great fun. But I'm not planning to work forever either. I am fortunate enough to be able to enjoy the fruits of my hard work to this point and can afford to enjoy life more than just work all the time. It's a nice spot to be in.

Ideally yes. In Real Life, HELL No.

No guy in America, let alone on SS, will "dismiss" any decent looking young girl with little baggage because she tried to dictate or modify his behavior. For Sex with in good looking young girl in 2018? Heck, any guy, would be "what can I do for you to have sex with me?" rather than dismiss her because of some tests.

You have to remember, society doesn't value what goes on BEHIND the scenes. They value what they see in front on them. Good looking girl on your arm Friday night with 60% frame? Or being alone Friday watching tv with 100% frame?

I fundamentally disagree with this. The reason I disagree with your assertions in the above couple of paragraphs is that I see high value men with high SMV do exactly as they please all the time. The women they date either get on board or get left behind. These are men who can pick and chose who they are going to spend time with and so they do. Any man who erodes his frame to supplicate a woman isn't a high value man operating from an abundant mindset. Will a man make some allowances for a worthwhile woman? Of course he will. But he won't do so to the point of pedestalizing a woman, getting his chain jerked around or changing who he is and what he is about.

Last night the BF and I were at a charity event for a Hall of Fame retired NFL player. There were very high value men there as you might imagine. I assure you men like that do as they please with whomever they please. And many of those men have settled into relationships with cool women who augment their lives. But that's the key: The women augment their lives. The women do NOT run their lives. The women are typically respected but not on a pedestal. And the women respect their men and are pleased to augment and have a place in their man's life.

Until a man has high enough value he isn't going to have the abundance or the perspective to take or leave a woman. If a man doesn't have high enough value he will tend to put pretty women on a pedestal and supplicate. And this is a slippery slope that ends up in a bad way for a man over time as the woman realizes what she can get away with and loses respect for the guy.

Because of the social circles I run in the men I deal with are high value, high SMV, sought after men. They do not put up with crap from women I assure you but they will make reasonable accommodation for a woman who shows herself to be desirable, attractive, and high value herself. These are men who have strong inner game and strong frame.

 

[Macaframalama]

You have to remember, society doesn't value what goes on BEHIND the scenes. They value what they see in front on them. Good looking girl on your arm Friday night with 60% frame? Or being alone Friday watching tv with 100% frame

This would be a sad, miserable life, but I'm aware men do this with women that aren't even remotely attractive just so as not to be alone. This is the utter definition of thirsty. You couldn't pay me to compromise myself for a piece of pvssy, no matter how hot she is.

My theory: If you are ATTRACTED to the girl. Take some hits as long as they are small, but do not compensate on BIG things.

I can agree with this, so long as it doesn't conflict with your principles, but this...

Men in 2018 don't have the luxury to be so strong and consistent and powerful and frame full. Sex is such at a premium if the girl is young + good looking, you got to give in alot of the time.

Is strong language and how men get cucked.

 

[lizardking82]

This guy is trying to project his perspective into everyone. Yes, hot sex with young women is good. No, hot sex with young women if it comes at too high prices such as messing around with my head LOL or playing too many useless games, not worth it.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Frame is simply that you are un-apologetically MALE, that you know what you want, and achieve with the discipline and confidence while living in the present. A man with a solid frame understands that what happened in the past is not necessarily a predictor of events. That the future is not 'ordained' and the future can and will be shaped by you and your actions right now. Because you live in the present, and you are not subjected to the emotional whims of the sub-conscious. You accept that anything can happen, but you do not EXPECT any outcomes. You do not worry about the past accept in where life experience can shape your actions now... But since the past can not be changed, it is an emotional waste of energy thinking about it.

The reason why "maintaining frame" is such a hot topic is because to make a relationship work with a chick, then you are going to have to have a 'flexible' frame... which is grossly inconsistent. Because like it or not, when you are in a relationship with a chick, your brain chemistry changes as she wears you down emotionally, as she continues to assault your sub-conscious with chick sh!t until you actually start to believe that it's "fun" going to couples baby showers instead going to games with your mates, and champagne brunches instead of beer and hot dogs while you play golf.

Your relationship chick will fight you on sh!t she really doesn't fvcking care about because she is in an emotional battle of wills to control you.... and the funny part... is when she finally beats you into submission, she no longer is interested in fvcking you because she has complete emasculated you. Now if you TRY to maintain FRAME, you will spend your life fighting with her, which eventually pulls you off frame, because chicks fight emotionally, which means you are in your sub-conscious and not the present. You can not maintain 'frame' with a chick you are in a relationship with, because the only way you CAN make a relationship work is if you are willing to compromise your 'frame' to do it... and if your frame is 'flexible' then you have no frame.

Star post

 

[zekko]

I'll add my thoughts on frame: It means maintaining your own reality, and bringing her into your reality. You keep your relationship within the context of your self respect, boundaries, and sense of self value. You don't allow her to do affect or crumble your frame, because it is solid. Some girls are destructive (not only to themselves, but to you if you let them). You don't let her compromise or weaken your frame.

I refer to myself as the "old lady" with tongue in cheek because at just about 50 years old many guys here think I am old and perhaps by default a post wall washed up woman.

26 is old and washed up to most guys here. I'm 57 now, and although I am enjoying life and have a lot I want to do, I do concede I am "old" in some respects. My joints that keep going on the fritz don't let me forget that, lol. Women live longer than men though, so that might affect our perspectives. I know a lot of guys who have died younger than I have, or who have died not much older than I. So it would be foolish to deny it. That doesn't mean it should hold us back though, let me be clear about that.

 

[RangerMIke]

The sh*t tests guys talk about are really nothing more than a woman finding the boundaries of the man's frame, in other words what a man will and won't tolerate. The stronger your frame is the less you will be subject to sh*t tests because the boundaries and expectations you have will be explicit. Strong frame is consistent, which gives a woman a sense of stability and consistency when dealing with you. By contrast weak or non-existent frame is nebulous, inconsistent and therefore unsettling, which make the woman want to exert more control (to gain greater stability and consistency.)

Yep. Frame is just the boundary between that which you can control (internal factors) and what you can not control (external factors).

If you constantly change this boundary and allow the person in your life to control your behavior, then she will NEVER enter your world... because you don't have a world, other than trying to make her 'happy', which is a bvllsh!t concept. If a chick thinks you are working too hard to keep her, she will assume she is better than you. Chicks do not like being with men who are 'lucky' to be with them. Chicks want to be the one's that are 'lucky'. Why would a chick want to be with a man the 'needs' them?

When you tell a chick that the man she is with is "lucky to have her", it's a back-handed complement. What it tells her is that she could do better, but she has apparently settled.

 

[lizardking82]

@Amante Silvestre can I have a word with you on private?

 

[Spidah]

Frame is just being unapologetically yourself and in many ways.. unapologetically selfish.

 

[The Duke]

He is probably too old for most of you, but if you ever want to see a man that shows a strong frame, watch some old John Wayne movies. Definitely one of my hero's.