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HELP: Insecurity& Jelousy

Willis

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Ok i been with my girlfriend for a year and 4 months and everything is good but we didnt start to have problems untill this year began, so Wednesday night she was on the phone with me talkin and she said "can u call me 2marrow" and im like why and she says "cause im about to call someone else" and i say "why" and she says that im not even talkin and she only likes talkin 2 me when when im talkin, and i dont want to jus here u breathe on tha phone" and this i didnt like because this is suppose 2 be our time 2gether no matter if i was talkin or not since she lives far away and thats the only time i can speak 2 her.
but we got into this big argument about how now she wants 2 talk 2 other guys and give then my time with her.and then i started being an jerk, sayin that she had other boyfriends and she was sleepin with them behind my back and all that other stuff. so b4 we hung up she says that she has to go 2 work and that she loves me and i said "no u dont, cause if u did u wouldnt put me in second place". the next night she calls me and is in good spirits and i was still upset about the night b4 and i explained 2 her how i felt and shes says that "i need 2 get over it and it wasnt that serious". and the way i fell like this is because i have no self-esteem, now confidence, insecure and get jelous when she talks about other guys and makes new guy friends(and she makes new guy friends every week ,cause shes beuatiful).
but i tell her that i feel insecure about that and she tells me that they will never be on my level and that they r jus friends and she loves me 2much. but i feel that 1 day SOME GUY IS GONNA WALK UP AND STEAL SPIT ENOUGH GAME 2 TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME AND THERE WILL BE NOTHON ON EARTH I CAN DO ABOUT IT.
so last night we almost broke up, due 2 my insecurity and jelousy and for some reason she felt that it was her, ahe told me "yea, but if i was never talkin to those guys it would never be like this and u wouldnt feel that way" and i told her that i been insecure from day 1 and i told her the only reason we were havin this discussion was because of my low self-esteem, lack of confidence, inferiority complex, jelousy and insecurity. and she was crying saying that she doesnt want to break-up but she feels thats shes causing all the problems we are having and she told me 4 or five times that she does want to break up and then at the last minute before she has to go she wants us to stay together and im like are u sure and she says yes (and i do this a couple of times and tell her that i dont want her to being a relationship that she doesnt want to be in, but shes like "no, shes sure"). can any1 help me on how not to be so insecure, have more confidence, feel secure, and how 2 let this not happen again, because i really care abouther herand i c myself with her in the future and all that other stuff.

and dont leave comments like NEXT HER and all that other stuff:confused: :(
 
Last edited:

Skel

Master Don Juan
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No offense, but I find it hard to read something like this. Use paragraphs and learn how to punctuate.
 

Hullothere

Don Juan
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Jun 29, 2007
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honestly i think you're fuked. Either you will have to next her or she will eventually next you. If you can somehow buy some time before this goes down you need to find your balls and become a man. You sound like a little girl with the way you talk to her. Have your own life, dont have time to talk on the phone or care about her wanting to get off.
 

everywomanshero

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I couldn't be bothered to read all that scrambled text, but judging by the thread topic I think some research is in order.

First you need to understand that everything you will ever do in life is motived by a desire to further your ability to reproduce successfully and live long enough to do so very often. This is a good article for that:
Psychology Today Article

Next is the ability to control our emotions so that we can make the best choices in life. I am not a professional psychologist, but for me personally and my close friends, Cognitive behavior therapy has proven invaluable for this. You don't have to be mentally ill to benefit from an increased ability to choose your responses to your emotions.

Third you need to understand that women are great creatures when they are in love with us, but they are still people too. Things change and so do feelings. The best that any of can do for our loved ones is stay emotionally/mentally healthy, try to move the relationship forward by keeping them chasing after us, and hope for the best. If at some point the relationship is more of a hinder than a help, then it might be time to think about searching for greener pastures to see what's out there.
 
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