I Am Lost 18
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2009
- Messages
- 30
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DISREGARD THIS TOPIC. DONT POST IN IT. LET IT DIE.
Last edited:
Hello Friend,
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Yes, she was hanging out with you while her BF was in ANOTHER COUNTRY. That means you were her surrogate BF, without the sex. In other words, you are her GIRLFRIEND. Girls have no problem touching, huggin, kissing, one another. Thats why you two are touchy feely like that.SHE HAD a BF, of 7 months, and they broke up over the summer. BEFORE the breakup, she was hanging out with me, and we had intimate connections b4 the break up too(hugging/kissing cheeks). The bf is in her native country, they broe up cause of the distance, and she says she is scared of being hurt or hurting me, doesnt want to be clear about it.
Anyway, do whatever the hell you want. Its not your job to protect her feelings. You are putting her feelings above your own, and you are not getting what you want in return. That is what makes you a chump. You have to recognize the fact that you are an AFC, and make a commitment to be a man from now on, starting with this chick. You were talking about respect earlier. If you respected her, you would be honest with her, instead of pretending to be her friend, while being eaten up inside pining for this chick that you think is so fragile and weak. Trust me, she aint as weak as you think. If you respected her, you would tell her the truth, even if it does hurt her. Thats what friends do. If you had a weak fragile guy friend that wouldnt leave you alone, would you be worried about hurting his feelings, or would you tell him you're busy, adn you dont need to explain shyt to him.I Am Lost 18 said:Okay, I think we both( you and I) aren't understanding each other here, and I will HAVE to post a detailed "story", from the day we met in December 2008, to TODAY.
Yes, I know. your situation is 'different.' Everybodys is.
She is "too soft" to make anyone her *****. She is one of those shy, soft, sensitive girls, anyone can step on and crush. She only had one bf in her life, for 7 months, and when she broke up, she said "I HATE THESE SITUATIONS. These stupid situations." Meaning she was hurt and hated this "going out as bf/gf" stuff since then".
She doesnt seem to having a problem with hurting people by stringing them along. Dont buy that 'scared of getting hurt ' crap. Thats ALWAYS, as in 100% of the time, bvllshyt. If Brad Pitt tried to make out with her, do you think she'd reject him because she's 'too scared?'
Thats what I think I have to change, but I messed up somehwere(which you will see in my upcoming full story).
For the last time, WHAT TO DO WITH THIS, #897(lierally, since about 2 weeks, thats the number of text messages she has sent me, etc) text message she sent me?
Told u, if I ignore, I'll have to tell her eventually WHY. But if I say now, "I'll reply u later", but ditch out, I can cover it with "oh I forgot", which does 2 things in 1:
-I have a simple excuse to give her
-It will shake her, that I forgot, and she will "start" to "hopefully" look at me different'y.
Well, I would just tell her you were busy hanging out with your friends, if you dont want to hurt her. If she grills you, tell her you're not her BF, and you dont need to explain anything to her.
WE DONT EVEN TRULY KNOW HOW WE LOOK AT EACH OTHER (well, I do, but dont know how she looks at me, she is always giving mixed signals, and we dont talk about it in person, etc).
One thing you should learn, is to disregard 'mixed signals.' mixed signals mean she likes you, and is frustrated that you arent making the moves, or took too long making the moves. Or, it means you are reading the signals wrong. When a chick treats you like her girlfriend, she will be touchy with you, and call you all the time. Thats what chicks do in friendships. Guys drink beer, watch/play football, and talk about slvts. This is how friend zones happen. Chicks get emotional, and talk about their feelings. If a guy talks about feelings, acts supportive, and sensitive, he is now acting like a girl. Any interest the girl has, is now on a friendship level. following? Meanwhile, the girl acts like she does with her girlfriends, I.E. touching, feeling, calling all the time, talking about feelings. This puts her our of the guys friend zone, because thats not how guys do it. Sooo, the guy develops an infatuation, because to him, she is acting like his girlfriend. Thats how this works. In conclusion...DONT BE HER GIRLFRIEND!
EDIT: I however, agree with your this part:
But get this straight too. I might have fell for her, but I am NOT her bytch, nor anyones. And I can't look at other girls the way I used to now, because of this girl. Every other girl I just see as a "friend", this one I see as "more than friend".
Sorry to say, but you are her bytch. Think about how many minutes you've spent on this site trying to come up with something to tell her about why you didnt text her. You are on here making excuses for her. You are hanging out with her nonstop in hopes that she'll straighten out her head, and realize that she's in love with you.
Hang out on this site for a while. You will see stories exactly like this EVERY DAY, all from guys who think 'their situation is different.' In a couple years, you should reread this post. You will laugh so hard, and say "Damn I was such a chump back then!'
Not exactly true. SHE left the bf in the other country. SHE came to USA, and he got left back in his country. HE was the one to break up with her. WHILE they were still together loving each other over the net, phone, SHE still hung out with me, talked to me about him once, but didnt want to talk about him, said she isn't comfortable doing so.
This part is completely irrelevant.
I knew they'd break up sooner or later. Long distnce relationships dont work at such young age (dude was in Russia, she's here in USA). She was just 17 when they went out, etc.