Help an AFC!

[TheMachoMan]

It's over a year ago that I saw this girl for the first time. I was an AFC and I didn't know about this place (it was because of her that I found this great forum). It was at the local club and one friday or saturday I decided that I'll have to give it a try... so
I went up to her and asked her if she wanted to dance. She said "not right now". I said ok and left her. When I was going to get my jacket she was in front of me in the line. She turned to me and smiled and I could tell that she wanted to talk to me. Being AFC and also a little angry because of the rejection earlier, I just looked away and didn't say anything.

That's the background story really. A few weeks later I found this site and then I decided to try to forget about her and move on.

Now I've decided that I have to talk to her. I've learnt a lot of things on this site, but I'm still an AFC! So...
how do I strike up a good conversation with her? I know her name because of some of my friends friends know her, but she hasn't told me herself. It feels like I have to touch the subject with us seeing eachother and my previous "pick-up attempt", and that feels so wrong.
I completely agree that you have to act immediately when you see a girl looking at you and this is completely the opposite but I want to make an exception.

I just have to finish my business with her, one way or another. I need to get it all out of my brain.

 

[shyguy208]

I always feel a bit unqualified to give advice on this site since I am still learning how to get out of my AFC ways myself. But since nobody has replied to this yet, then here is my take on it...

First you don't even know her. She is just some random girl you saw one evening. You made an approach to her, which by the way is great! She showed very little interest. Then you said that she smiled at you later - that was most likely her on a ego trip more than anything else. If she wanted to talk to you that much then she would have done by getting your attention by saying hello or something.

What worries me the most from what you have described is that I'm getting the feeling that you are infactuated (what people here call one-itis) with this girl that you hardly even know! That is bad for you! Very very bad! You must snap out of it! You do not know this girl. She could be the nastiest and most evil human being on the face of this planet - you never know - you don't know her. You may not even see her again. I mean getting one-itis over a girl you know fairly well is one thing but you don't even know this girl. Snap out of it boy! Come on! Think logically with the head on your shoulders not with your little head between you legs!

Forget about this random girl and move on and approach other girls (but don't get one-itis) this time. You are doing well with getting yourself to approach. I am still working on the whole approaching random women thing - so you are doing better than I am in that dept.

I have started (well started a while ago actually) to chat to women that I know from work that the rest of the dudes consider to be good looking and also just everyone including the older ladies and even the blokes I don't work with. After a while you just kind of get used to chatting to the good looking women and you kind of realise that they are just human like you and me and nothing special. You also start to see the flaws in them (character, their attitude, etc, etc,...). Sometimes they even seem to get a bit nervous like they are trying to impress you or something. BUT be sure that you chat to somebody that you will not get one-itis. I chat to hot girls at work but I don't intend to take it further - no number close or anything like that - it is mearly a way for me to get used to being around hot girls and just girls in general. Past experience has shown me that attempting anything woth girls from work is a very very bad idea.

Anyway, that is about as much as I have to say. I hope it helps you. Maybe some of the more experienced DJs will be able to shed more light on your situation.

 

[The Business Man]

Shyguy got to the point, so I'd pay attention to what he just said.
I've been here 2 years or so, so if you still want experienced advice, here it is:

Read the Bible.



Bonus tip: Read everything else on this site.







-----------(TOP SECRET ADVICE HERE)-----------

practice

 

[suavedave]

practice!

That's right : practice.

But read my next message "Location > Girl" for the answer.

 

[So pimp its scary]

also, there is the search function

 

[TheMachoMan]

She definitely was a one-itis, and then I forgot about her. But since I saw her again a few weeks ago everything came back to me. Of course I've read the bible and know everything you say... I just need to hear it! I probably had a weak moment when I posted my main post!

But... I think that people are nexting girls to easily. And as you shyguy208 says, I don't know her! I think I should at least talk to her to find out if she's really the nastiest and most evil woman on earth before I next. Somehow I feel like just giving it all up is the easy way out, but I'm really tempted to go that way. It will probably not be worth all the trouble but at least I can get it all out of my head! Oh well. I guess it's all part of the learning process... I have a lot of thinking to do... Thank you for trying to help!