Handling your girl flirting

[SamMalone]

How do you handle this situation- Your girlfriend of about five months flirts with another guy in front of you. You tell her about it afterwards and she says "That wasn't flirting". It clearly was flirting, however. How do you walk the line between jealous and having self-respect in this situation?

 

[ENIGMA16]

Do the same thing right back to her.

 

[Dante420]

you don't


you next her

 

[SamMalone]

Next her for one incident of flirting? I'm not sure I want to do that yet, but I will if it continues.

Flirting with other girls will just lead to more problems for me I think.

 

[alphaace]

The problem is not "one insident of flirting". The problem is the huge ammount of disrespect she put forth right infront of your eyes, and all you did was "talk" to her about it. OF COURSE she is going to tell you that it wasnt flirting, and we all know that woman NEVER LIE........

I think Dante420 said it best, and +1.

 

[Tiguere]

Can you be more specific? What exactly did she tell the guy and how did he responded ?

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

How do you handle this situation- Your girlfriend of about five months flirts with another guy in front of you. You tell her about it afterwards and she says "That wasn't flirting". It clearly was flirting, however. How do you walk the line between jealous and having self-respect in this situation?

You can't have respect if you're burning about her flirting with a guy in front of you. Don't "let's have a talk" after she does stuff like that. Talks are a complete waste of time because they're always about logic and it's been said a million times that logic doesn't work, girls make emotional decisions.

Learn to not be jealous and bust her on it in a vague way that'll thwart her efforts and teach her not to do that. One way to do that is that when she starts flirting with a guy smile and say "she's the girl my mother warned me about" with a slight laugh. If you trigger an embarrassment (ie: does everyone think I'm a ***** now?, does everyone think I do this all the time? oh no!) she'll stop doing it. That takes her down a notch yet you didn't out and out say "she's acts like a slut". You stole her frame and you're in charge again.

Don't explain what you meant by that, don't talk about it afterwards like you completely forgot it happened. You matched her disrespect with something that's much more concerning to women.

Here's one way to discipline yourself to not be jealous. Always be thinking about how the other women around are feeling about your interaction with your girlfriend until it just becomes habit and you won't think about it anymore. Girls watching this happen can tell you're getting upset and they lose interest. BUT, if they see you confident and busting your girl UNLIKE WHAT 99% OF OTHER GUYS DO they'll get curious and focus more attention on you.

You've already got a girlfriend, and she can't lose interest if she can't effect you in a bad way so you don't need to spend any time worrying about this crap. Spend all of that time passively (indirectly) seducing the girls around you. They'll be wanting to talk with you/get your attention and your girlfriend won't have time to flirt with guys, she'll be busy keeping her claws extended and fending off other women as well as treating you like a King.

That doesn't mean be a **** and try to get her jealous, (you won't be treated like a King anymore) but if you're the most confident man in the vicinity girls will be attracted. If you're obviously distressed about your girl flirting they won't even bother with you. They have radar, they can tell even if you don't say a word.

PS: If you're always passing sh1t tests and other girls see it and you end up getting together with one them, they won't sh1t test you nearly as much because they know what's going to happen, they'll get busted on it and eventually dumped if they push you too far.

This works really, positively. The girl I'm mainly seeing now only gave me sh1t tests for a couple of weeks and did it all half-assed because I responded in the same way (different wording) as I did in front of her when I was going out with a different girl in this town. She treats me with 100% respect because she was tired of her ass getting kissed by every single guy and I'm the only one she saw not putting up with crap.

The world is a stage man. Always focus on how all the other girls are viewing your interactions, no matter what they look like or age and after a while you'll internalize it, you'll be completely relaxed, and it will be 100% natural. You'll be a chick magnet to girls you've never spoken a word to.

 

[DJDamage]

Why are you subjected to this display in front of you? next time she flirts with him in front of you just go up to him and say to him in a calm manner (make sure she can hear you too):

"here is a tip buddy, she likes to take it up the ass, you can thank me later"

and walk away with a smile on your face.

 

[jophil28]

Some advice to you freshmen.
If you are going to reprimand your women, you need to do it is such a way that does not unintentionally undermine your own authority.
This is one of the greatest challenges facing men today. Women have been trained and taught that they are entitled to act in any way that suits them. Hence they do just that from time to time,with the result that they disrespect your leadership and damage your relationship..
The key is to hand her a smackdown with ELEGANT SUPERIORITY..
I am going to give a couple of examples of wrong ways to discipline her, and then a few 'right' ways.

WRONG #1
She flirts with another guy in front of you.
You feel pissed, and sulk with a pouty face. On the drive home she asks you why "you are have gone all quiet" .You sulk even deeper and lie by saying, " I'm fine - no problem." You have just acted incongruently- your actions and your statement are not aligned. She knows that you are pissed.
This usually progresses to two sulking adults sleeping together in cold silence.

WRONG #2

She flirts, and then you explode in rage. She feels cornered and defends herself by lying her way out of the corner that you have manuvered her into.
You feel disrespected by the flirting and also angry and frustrated by her attempts to wriggle out of the charge. After all you saw her flirt- you have the evidence. You then amp up the heat and she then cries or runs out whimpering her favorite victim statements .

RIGHT #1 (Reclaim the frame)

She flirts in front of you.
You walk away and stop looking at her .You walk to the bar/bathroom to think through your next move.
Wash your face, grab a cool drink and FORCE yourself to scan the room for someone HOT to approach. You then act. Walk up to the nearest HB and introduce yourself and CHAT. Ignore your G/f. This move will snap you out of your indignation and allow you to stabilize your emotions. DO NOT sneak peeks at your G/f. Focus on your new 'friend'...if she blows you off, repeat this approach with another HB.
BY now you G/f will notice that you are MIA and will be scanning the room. She sees you chatting to another hot woman.
This is the 'magic moment' in which she has a choice to make, and the beginning of your victory..
She has to decide whether to stay with her 'flirt friend' for a little more male attention or risk having another woman connect with you..
BY now her ego is almost satisfied by the other guys attention. She got what she wanted from him, BUT she now has to reclaim you.
What happens next?

You have won the battle right at that moment when your G/f suddenly reappears at your side and interrupts your convo with the HB. At this point do not allow G/f to drag you away. I would then ask HB to dance IN FRONT of my G/f and say," Honey, you don't mind do you?" and just lead HB onto the floor.
Return to your G/f after two or three songs. BY now you own the whole event. At this point G/f will have forgotten about her flirty guy target and be all over you with questions about the HB.

RIGHT #2 ( Send her to her room)


She flirts with another guy.
You feels disrepected and devalued BUT you keep your composure. You act normally with G/f thoughout the rest of the evening but you are cool towards her without sulking. She picks up on your mood shift ( women can sense tiny shifts in the wind)
During the drive home she asks you what is wrong.

You reply," Oh, I am a little disappointed."

G/f says," Why " (she knows exactly why so you don't have to spell it out)

You, " I have high standards and feel a little let down when others do not act respectfully. You did not meet my expectations tonight."

She will then start defending herself by telling you how innocent her flirting was OR she will try to shame you into accepting that your "standards" are totally absurd. SHUT UP ! Say nothing more. Let her rant if she wants to. IF she amps it up drop her off at her place without another word.
If she shows contrition and is softening because she realizes that you are bunkered down, let her speak. Stay withdrawn but polite as long as you can.
REmember this tip - if she get all hissy take her home or send her home.

She has to 'earn' your company.

Good hunting, soldiers.

 

[Jitterbug]

My HPD ex this one time was flirting & blatantly hitting on my best friend in front of me to test my reaction, all under the disguise of a joke. I went to talk to HER best friend, ran my best game on her and then just caveman-lifted her up on my shoulder, carried her over to where my ex & my friend were and said: "Since the party is getting hot over here, shall we bounce to the lounge area upstairs for an orgy then?" - all smiling of course.

Now, my best friend knows his boundary so he was just humouring my ex. OTOH, her friend was visibly turned on by my cavemanning. SMACK DOWN.

After that, she never tried to flirt with other guys in front of me again... until after we broke up. Then she did that a lot, and I always easily one-upped her if I needed to, but most of the time I just thought that was funny. I was over her (I dumped her) and she was not (and still isn't).

The only reason I did not fvck her best friend after we broke up was that my friend, that poor AFC, fell into oneitis with that chick and I had to step back from a sure lay. After she broke his niceguy heart, she went overseas for a year.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Some girls act like they are flirting and they really arent. It depends on the girls personality...

I'd say ignore it and talk to some other girl.

 

[Bloke]

Behead her.

 

[The Piano Master]

I can't handle b'itches who flirt right in front of their bfs - unless they're flirting with me. Then I just make them call their bfs while I'm destroying them from behind.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Girls who flirt a lot even when involved with someone else are AWs (HPD) or NPD. Girls like attention, like to wear sexy clothes, this is fine. However, to go out of your way to get attention, something is wrong.

The same way is the guy who is always talking about how girls hit on him all the time. It´s suspicious to say the least. I'm working with another AW, and I´ve observed the things she does. They are double-faced, manipulative and very concerned about beauty. Their aim is to make you take care of them, and they pay you flirting with you and the whole city!

The histrionic actively seeks to create an image so compelling it consumes the consciousness of others with one single-minded desire: Get closer to me! If the ideal relationship is symbiotic, the dependent is comparable to the functions of a parasite and the histrionic to that of a black widow spider. Whereas the dependent mates for life, the histrionic mates covertly and symbolically across every medium the senses offer, attracting as many potential suitors as possible. Whereas the dependent invests in a single relationship, the histrionic hedges bets by cultivating backup alternatives.

Doc love calls them "Professional Daters".

 

[BananaSmile]

hmm really interesting

its like one of my friends
his gf is never with him (when theres a big group this is school btw)
shes always with some other guy taking pictures or talking
he used to get angry but now hes just standing back not minding

i mean that jophil28 method 2 was good
any other ways to deal with this ?

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

Girls who flirt a lot even when involved with someone else are AWs (HPD) or NPD.

No no no no no. Girls with even DJ boyfriends flirt (unless the girl is hideous or extremely shy) and for various reasons depending on the situation. Women don't do anything in particular for one reason, one outcome, like guys generally do. Men in general flirt trying to get some (future possibility of) ass.

A girl with a boyfriend flirts with different mixes of the below (mainly):

To feel more (still) attractive than other girls
To gain power when she's around other men
To gain material goods/discounts/lower prices/opportunities
To test her man (other men also) to see if he's weak
To attract another mate if hers is weak
and a few others as well

A low level of flirting is great. The first three are fine when you aren't present, they should not bother you at all. It's completely normal and natural.

In fact, if you ever accidentally catch her doing any of the first three you need to completely not be bothered by it. Blow it off. After all, if you are a confident man who knows you've got options and you wouldn't hesitate to dump the girl and go for one of those options...she'll feel that and not be flirting for the last two reasons anyway. You ignoring it or even "my girl can charm anyone!" with a confident smile sends an extremely clear signal that you're the Alpha male. Other girls around this situation WILL be impressed and attracted to your rare behavior. Your woman will notice this as well so you have no worries at all. Also, if you really are the Alpha male, she'll immediately direct attention to you because you make her feel very secure as well as attractive.

I don't mind my women flirting for those first 3 reasons. In fact, I subtly make it clear that I'm knowledgeable enough about women to know it happens and it's not unusual. I get benefits from low-level flirting like that as well. She's much more safe around guys who think they've got a slight chance, they turn on their AFC behavior quickly like not trying to intimidate her plus they'll offer to buy drinks or whatnot. The more occasions she sees that she can control men the more attractive YOU are to her. She's one of the few girls who has a REAL man.

NOTE: I see guys blow out relationships all the friggin time because they get completely and stupidly insecure/jealous over their girlfriends making large amounts of tips....duh, bartender & waitress girls make their main money BECAUSE they flirt.

The third reason for flirting is fine even in front of me. Example: Say I go to buy a used car from some guy. He wants as much money from he as he can get and I want to part with as little as I can. I WILL bring my HB8+ and while I'm haggling if he's staring at her breasts and she thrusts them out a little bit and I get $$$ off, woo hoo! Not only did I save money but she's also reminded that almost all men are AFC's and she's got one of those very rare guys who isn't an insecure AFC.

Pass the flirting #4 test (only if it's blatant "I'll act slutty and see if he's insecure" flirting, playful behavior is fine, that's not #4) by busting her on it calmly and casually (take frame back) and the overwhelming majority of women will stop. If she does it on multiple occasions and ignores you busting on it, NEXT, you do have a girl with serious problems. If she pulls that "slutty" flirting crap again on you really soon she's obviously not good enough for you.

If it's #5, it's over.

 

[Phenomenal One]

Pass the flirting #4 test (only if it's blatant "I'll act slutty and see if he's insecure" flirting, playful behavior is fine, that's not #4) by busting her on it calmly and casually (take frame back) and the overwhelming majority of women will stop. If she does it on multiple occasions and ignores you busting on it, NEXT, you do have a girl with serious problems. If she pulls that "slutty" flirting crap again on you really soon she's obviously not good enough for you.

If person A (usually a man) always tries and past the test of person B (woman) than how is the men takin back the frame ?
if she does someone to sees if you're insecure and you respond in a way to make sure to she sees that you're not insecure, does'nt the woman hold the frame during the whole interaction reguardless of a man's reaction ?

She (woman) gives out the test and you (man) try to pass em.

 

[Joe Stud]

I never get mad over it. If anything, I will tease her later IN A FRIENDLY way. It makes them feel good about themselves. And as a confident DJ, I "dont sweat the competition". I have developed this attitude over the years (one of the advantages with age), and it has always served me well. If/when the time comes that she is going to branch swing (which no amount of scolding will prevent)... may the best man win. I will replace her in 10 minutes. Thats the attitude I take, and I feel good about myself. Getting mad shows insecurity, and devalues oneself.

On the other hand, if shes BLATENTLY carrying it way too far (not in this situation), I will make a mental note: {joe stud, you need to think about nexting this chick}. But this would be rare, and only if she is totally disrespectful. How do they say it... "never let them see you sweat"?

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

If person A (usually a man) always tries and past the test of person B (woman) than how is the men takin back the frame ?
if she does someone to sees if you're insecure and you respond in a way to make sure to she sees that you're not insecure, does'nt the woman hold the frame during the whole interaction reguardless of a man's reaction ?

She (woman) gives out the test and you (man) try to pass em.

She's trying to take charge of what's going on and make him feel insecure.

He responds in a way that shows he's secure and turns it around so she's the one feeling insecure. He passes and she won't be constantly repeating the test unless there's something wrong with her in general.

If he just passes that insecurity test she'll feel free to keep doing it all the time and eventually she'll start pushing the limits more and more depending on her mood. ie: If she gets angry she's going use that weapon because there aren't any consequences.

I hope that clears up what I meant. He's back in charge of the situation. It's now "she's with a confident guy who will bust her for bullshait" instead of "she's a girl showing that she can be disrespectful to her man".

 

[Phenomenal One]

She's trying to take charge of what's going on and make him feel insecure.

He responds in a way that shows he's secure and turns it around so she's the one feeling insecure. He passes and she won't be constantly repeating the test unless there's something wrong with her in general.

If he just passes that insecurity test she'll feel free to keep doing it all the time and eventually she'll start pushing the limits more and more depending on her mood. ie: If she gets angry she's going use that weapon because there aren't any consequences.

I hope that clears up what I meant. He's back in charge of the situation. It's now "she's with a confident guy who will bust her for bullshait" instead of "she's a girl showing that she can be disrespectful to her man".

Ohh ok thanks
alot of times people here talk about passin test with no mention of also talking the frame.