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Guys who Respect You vs. Guys who don't Respect You

sstype

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Since most of the posts are focused on "what girls do if they're interested...etc...etc..." I figured I touch on the issue of respect from guys. No you won't date them (unless you're gay) but respect with guys and success with girls go hand in hand. Simply put, if guys arent respecting you then you can sure as hell believe that girls wont respect and want you.

I noticed the behaviors of the guys who showed a general respect for me vs. the guys who show signs of not respecting me.

Guys who respect you...
1. Laugh at your jokes
2. Carry on the conversation
3. Give more eye contact when talking to you
4. Pat you on the back or say "whad up pimp!" "whats crackin money!"
5. They will come up to you and talk about how drunk they got last weekend and who they hooked up with. (ie buying approval)
6. If you're jacked they'll call you fat or weak (when they are really jealous that you look good)
7. Invite you to hang out wit them at the clubs/bars/parties. You end up being "one of their boyz"
8. They will act and say stupid sh*t (like Dave Chappelle quotes) to impress you

Guys who don't respect you...
1. They give you short polite answers when you ask them whats up
2. They never carry on the conversation.
3. They generally avoid eye contact
4. If you make a joke at them, they usually do a smirk or a nervous laugh to brush you off, or not laugh at all.
5. They don't care what you are doing this weekend, and they will always find excuses to not hang out with you
6. They won't call you.
7. They are condescending towards you in one way or another.
8. The only time they actually show respect is when they want a favor from you.
9. They use dark humor or sarcasm towards you. They are joking, but the jokes at your expense. This is especially embarrassing when its made around other people.
10. They do one or all of the above towards you, but when you see them around their friends its a complete reversal in behaviors.

Now you may be thinking, "why the f*ck should I care what GUYS think about me?!" Which is correct, you should not give a f*ck.

The problem is a lot of guys (like me) are putting up with disrespect from guys they call "friends" or "aquaintance" Drop the muthaf*ucker if you start seeing the signs of disrespect. Don't talk to him and don't be polite to him. Im not saying start a fight but just show indifference towards him the same way he shows towards you. You may gain his respect back or not, but that's not the idea. You ought to have enough pride and self-respect to step away from people like that. Otherwise you end up being a supplicant, in the way that you are looking for his approval.

Physical dominance is an important aspect as well. I know a 250 lb dude at the boxing gym that looks like a cut up version of Kane from WWE. He gets mad respect on that aspect itself. So if you're skinny or overweight or out of shape then strengthening your body, martial arts/boxing training, will make you more confident of yourself. When you know you can kick the asses of 80 percent of the guys you are around, then you will be respected.

This is based on observations and personal experiences so feel free to add on or critique.
 

BOWIE

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Not im my case man. I'm a total alpha male and I usually find that the only men I respect that those who are very passive and recognise me as the alpha male. Every other guy that shows any competetion definitely in my crosshairs. I never noticed it til my girlfriends started pointing it out.
So, in my case, the guys I respect are the weaker ones. Most dominant females tend to look for guys like this so that they can control them.
 

don juan jr

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wow, its weird, i do all the disrespectful things towards most people. But i never thought or intended to be disrespectful. I guess this opened my eyes up a bit.. eh?
 

sstype

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bump...

The key here is meshing the two mindsets when you interact with your guy friends. You want to be friendly, but you don't want to cross the line into ass-kissing. So you may joke around like best buddies and then just keep it cool for the rest of the day.

I would like to hear some more responses....
 

Blackdragon5095

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To be truthful dude. It deals with the guy himself. If a guy dosen't like who he is and dosen't respect himself then he most likely isn't gonna respect you or anyone else. Behind close doors he problay talks trash about his friends.
Find guys who are happy to be alive and respect theirselfs. Don't worry about @ssholes who don't wanna respect nobody. Those guys don't have a life.

Sometimes the guy who disrespects you might just be having a bad day. Or his boss crewed him out and he pissed about it. Maybe he caught his g/f cheating on him ? So if someone acts rude to you for no reason you shouldn't think this ( I'm gonna kick his ass ) think this ( Maybe that guy just having a bad day ).

Plus if you don't respect yourself then how can other people respect you ?
This is a nice guy problem. 1 of the top 5 main reasons women are not attracted to nice guys.
 

sstype

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Blackdragon5095 said:
To be truthful dude. It deals with the guy himself. If a guy dosen't like who he is and dosen't respect himself then he most likely isn't gonna respect you or anyone else. Behind close doors he problay talks trash about his friends.
Find guys who are happy to be alive and respect theirselfs. Don't worry about @ssholes who don't wanna respect nobody. Those guys don't have a life.

Sometimes the guy who disrespects you might just be having a bad day. Or his boss crewed him out and he pissed about it. Maybe he caught his g/f cheating on him ? So if someone acts rude to you for no reason you shouldn't think this ( I'm gonna kick his ass ) think this ( Maybe that guy just having a bad day ).

Plus if you don't respect yourself then how can other people respect you ?
This is a nice guy problem. 1 of the top 5 main reasons women are not attracted to nice guys.
You would respect yourself even more cause you would not put up with another dude's disrespect towards you for whatever reason. Observe his behavior towards you...and then watch how he behaves around other guys. If he is laughing and having a good time with them while treating you like sh*t because he "might just be having a bad day," then it is obvious he has no respect for you.
 

Blackdragon5095

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sstype said:
You would respect yourself even more cause you would not put up with another dude's disrespect towards you for whatever reason. Observe his behavior towards you...and then watch how he behaves around other guys. If he is laughing and having a good time with them while treating you like sh*t because he "might just be having a bad day," then it is obvious he has no respect for you.
But then go somewhere else. Why would you be around a guy who disrespects you ? I don't sorta get this topic. Why would you be around a guy who dosen't respect himself ? Most of the time when I see @ssholes who wanna make fun of me, I just walk away from them because I know they have no life.

You think it's because he likes disrespecting you ? No he disrespect other people too. Most losers who like to make fun of other people like to disrespect you for attention or because they are unhappy with their own life.

You should DHV by ignoring these losers and going on about your day. You hurt them by ingoring them ( because they really want is your attention ) and not letting them mess up your day. ( again hurts them because they are unhappy and just want to make you unhappy to ).

In the end man, it's better to walk away from these idoits then to sit their and get all mad, then wanting to fight him over something stupid he said.
 

insanity

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in most jobs i get, it seems like everybody has a chip on their shoulder at first. people are just territorial. i usually give everybody the benefit of the doubt. once i learn how everything works at the job, then comes time to see who i am going to get along with and who i'm not. everybody is not going to like me, just as i'm not going to like everybody too.

same goes for when i meet a new friend and he wants me to go over to his get togethers with his other friends. first comes the introductions, then the probings, some people are open to making aquintances with you and others are threatened that their friend may like you better. over time once they get to know you, your not as bad as they once thought. but make no mistake. always say whats on your mind even if it offends other people. i'm there to be liked for me.
 

Visceral

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I've wanted to know how to deal with other guys for a long time. The main reason I've always avoided them is because I've never known the rules. I was always afraid I'd screw up somehow and piss them off.
don juan jr said:
wow, its weird, i do all the disrespectful things towards most people. But i never thought or intended to be disrespectful. I guess this opened my eyes up a bit.. eh?
Me too. I always thought of respect in terms of Godfather stuff, or how soldiers treat their superior officers. This attitude always made most of what sstype considers disrespectful seem like the respectful thing to do ... and vice versa.

You guys make it sound like you show respect by treating the guy like you're friends, something I always thought was the most dis-respectful thing you could possibly do ... unless you actually are friends, and then only if you are at least his equal, and preferably above him.
 
Last edited:

sstype

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I was slow to realize the level of animosity towards me from the guys at work. I would act like I was "part of the crew" (list of respectful behaviors"

Don't make this mistake. Just like you should be careful about opening yourself up to girls, definitely curb your enthusiasm around your guy friends and acquaintances. Treat them as your equals or less. Any kind of approval buying could feed their egos.
 

sstype

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Blackdragon5095 said:
But then go somewhere else. Why would you be around a guy who disrespects you ? I don't sorta get this topic. Why would you be around a guy who dosen't respect himself ? Most of the time when I see @ssholes who wanna make fun of me, I just walk away from them because I know they have no life.

You think it's because he likes disrespecting you ? No he disrespect other people too. Most losers who like to make fun of other people like to disrespect you for attention or because they are unhappy with their own life.

You should DHV by ignoring these losers and going on about your day. You hurt them by ingoring them ( because they really want is your attention ) and not letting them mess up your day. ( again hurts them because they are unhappy and just want to make you unhappy to ).

In the end man, it's better to walk away from these idoits then to sit their and get all mad, then wanting to fight him over something stupid he said.
Read my entire post, I never said fight him.
 

Marlimus

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Not im my case man. I'm a total alpha male and I usually find that the only men I respect that those who are very passive and recognise me as the alpha male. Every other guy that shows any competetion definitely in my crosshairs. I never noticed it til my girlfriends started pointing it out.
So, in my case, the guys I respect are the weaker ones. Most dominant females tend to look for guys like this so that they can control them.
In other words, you only associate with people you feel comfortably superior too. I smell insecurity. And pettiness. A man who is confident in his greatness would relish the opportunity to converse with an equal or to learn from a master. So tell me, when you were in college assuming that you did so, did you 'AMOG' your professors?
Pathetic.
 

mahon83050

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sstype said:
Since most of the posts are focused on "what girls do if they're interested...etc...etc..." I figured I touch on the issue of respect from guys. No you won't date them (unless you're gay) but respect with guys and success with girls go hand in hand. Simply put, if guys arent respecting you then you can sure as hell believe that girls wont respect and want you.

I noticed the behaviors of the guys who showed a general respect for me vs. the guys who show signs of not respecting me.

Guys who respect you...
1. Laugh at your jokes
2. Carry on the conversation
3. Give more eye contact when talking to you
4. Pat you on the back or say "whad up pimp!" "whats crackin money!"
5. They will come up to you and talk about how drunk they got last weekend and who they hooked up with. (ie buying approval)
6. If you're jacked they'll call you fat or weak (when they are really jealous that you look good)
7. Invite you to hang out wit them at the clubs/bars/parties. You end up being "one of their boyz"
8. They will act and say stupid sh*t (like Dave Chappelle quotes) to impress you

Guys who don't respect you...
1. They give you short polite answers when you ask them whats up
2. They never carry on the conversation.
3. They generally avoid eye contact
4. If you make a joke at them, they usually do a smirk or a nervous laugh to brush you off, or not laugh at all.
5. They don't care what you are doing this weekend, and they will always find excuses to not hang out with you
6. They won't call you.
7. They are condescending towards you in one way or another.
8. The only time they actually show respect is when they want a favor from you.
9. They use dark humor or sarcasm towards you. They are joking, but the jokes at your expense. This is especially embarrassing when its made around other people.
10. They do one or all of the above towards you, but when you see them around their friends its a complete reversal in behaviors.

Now you may be thinking, "why the f*ck should I care what GUYS think about me?!" Which is correct, you should not give a f*ck.

The problem is a lot of guys (like me) are putting up with disrespect from guys they call "friends" or "aquaintance" Drop the muthaf*ucker if you start seeing the signs of disrespect. Don't talk to him and don't be polite to him. Im not saying start a fight but just show indifference towards him the same way he shows towards you. You may gain his respect back or not, but that's not the idea. You ought to have enough pride and self-respect to step away from people like that. Otherwise you end up being a supplicant, in the way that you are looking for his approval.

Physical dominance is an important aspect as well. I know a 250 lb dude at the boxing gym that looks like a cut up version of Kane from WWE. He gets mad respect on that aspect itself. So if you're skinny or overweight or out of shape then strengthening your body, martial arts/boxing training, will make you more confident of yourself. When you know you can kick the asses of 80 percent of the guys you are around, then you will be respected.

This is based on observations and personal experiences so feel free to add on or critique.
Good Post. I have this problem with this kid who lives down the street from me. I have known him for around 28 years, but he is a very cold, non-personable person. He has made jokes at my expense in the past, been condescending and has tried to make fun of me in front of the opposite sex. I do not consider him a friend anymore and avoid him like the plaque.

I think this all stems from our childhood. I was looked down upon my him and his brother since I was not as physically strong as them and was not a good athlete like them. Those with good athletic ability think they are superior to those who do not have any...especially during childhood and adolesence.

I should hate all athletes, but surprisingly I do not.
 
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